The steady drumbeat of his #2 Ticonderoga filled Mark Mitchum's ears as he spent the better part of Friday morning at his work desk, daydreaming. It had been over a week since he and his wife, Sherry, had indulged in what could only be called very indecent activities on the way home from Coach Monroe's retirement banquet.
Mark still took a huge amount of naughty joy in remembering the look on Sherry's face when she came home from work the next evening. It had shocked him from the start that his wife was even able to drag herself out of bed at 7 a.m. after such a draining night to go to work in the first place, but as dedicated as Sherry was and knowing that a promotion possibly hung in the balance, Sherry had gotten up and dragged her weary body to school.
As Sherry arrived home and walked through the front door of her house at 6 p.m. that night, Mark was sitting coyly on the sofa and wasn't in the least bit surprised that his wife looked like warmed over death when she slumped onto the couch beside him as soon as she walked in.
"Have a good day, Honey?" Mark asked with gentle sarcasm, pulling the newspaper he was reading back so Sherry could use his thigh as a pillow.
"UURRGGGHH," Sherry growled, hugging her husband's knee tightly, as if it were a bowie.
A few moments passed before Sherry asked her husband the question that he had been waiting for.
"Mark?" Sherry groaned.
"Yes, Darling?" Mark politely replied, his eyes still buried sarcastically in the newspaper.
"What in the world happened in the car last night?" Sherry finally asked tentatively, her temple still resting against her husband's supporting thigh.
"What ever do you mean, Honey?" Mark poetically retorted.
"What do you mean...what do I mean...you know what I mean Mark," Sherry hissed in a sawdust like, raspy voice. "My lipstick is all over the freakin' window ...and why is..." Sherry started to say but stopped the thought in its tracks, as her ashen face began to blush .
"Why...what, Sherry" Mark prodded.
"Why the passenger seat ...was...you know," Sherry tried unsuccessfully explaining the trace DNA evidence that coated the Volvo's seat.
Mark tried to keep from laughing out loud as Sherry continued telling her harrowing story. "Mark dammitt...tell me...please! I went out this morning I sat my purse down in the...stuff...without knowing...when I got out of the car at work...that...stuff was all over the bottom of it.Did...I do that?"
"I don't know Darling...you were kind of out of it on the way home," Mark smugly answered.
"OH SHIT," Sherry cringed.
"Did I do anything to embarrass myself?" Sherry quickly wanted to know.
"I...ahh...I don't think so Sherry," Mark hemmed and hawwed, flipping the pages of the paper. "Did anybody look at you funny at work today?"
Sherry immediately pondered Mark's comment. Even though she got a lot of compliments on how pretty she looked at the banquet, she couldn't remember anyone giving her that strange, "How in the fuck could you have done that" look during the day.
Leaving Sherry hanging in a swirl of confused doubt, Mark got up to start dinner knowing his wife was in no shape to cook any food. He left her there on the sofa to take a nap and alone with her unanswered frustrations about how the passenger seat of their car ended up in such a messy state.
* * * * *
Back at the office, Mark did his damndest not to burst out giggling as he relived the chain of events from that fateful evening for the umpteenth time. Scanning his gaze across the office, checking out what was going on with his coworkers, his attention was corralled by Bernadette Collins as she talked casually to Geneva Switzer at the receptionist's desk.
Mark could overhear snippets of Bernadette and Geneva's friendly discussion and his male radar distinctly picked up on the erotic tension flowing, if not from Geneva, certainly from the matronly older woman trying to lure the pretty and exotic 22 year old into her and her husband's hedonistic web.
Mark made an internal assumption that Geneva would most likely turn down Bernadette's offer to come to the cookout that weekend, guessing that a good looking girl, her age, would have better things to do with her weekend than spending it with a whole bunch of aging insurance agents at a barbeque. When Mark saw Geneva politely accept Bernadette's invitation, his heart sunk into his stomach, knowing the young, naive girl had no idea what kind of pressure she was in for.
By the time Bernadette had made her way over to Mark's desk, he had quickly re-evaluated his earlier decision not to go to the Collins' cookout. The fact that Geneva had agreed to go and would probably be wearing something rather skimpy, considering Bernadette had made it a point several times to tell the young woman that they had a really nice in-ground pool at the ranch, had nothing to do with his change of heart about going. At least that's what Mark told himself.
His wife, Sherry, would be out of town from Friday night until late Sunday, at the final track meet of the season, nearly three hours away in College Station. Mark convinced himself that he could score a few brownie points with the higher ups at work by schmoozing with them over some beer and ribs.
After calling up Sherry and talking to her over his lunch break, Mark received another inviting offer. Since it was the school's last track meet of the season, and the last one for Coach Monroe's career, the school was springing for each one of the coaches to bring their spouses or significant others along for the two night hotel stay.
Knowing her husband wasn't a big fan of the sport, Sherry wasn't at all surprised when Mark decided that he didn't want to spend an entire weekend stuck in College Station. Hearing him say that he was going to make the trip up to the Collins' ranch for the Saturday cookout made Sherry feel a little better, knowing Mark wouldn't be sitting home all weekend missing her and the fact that he promised to get to some of the projects around the house he had been meaning to get to, made Sherry more comfortable going away without her husband for the two day competition. Without Mark there, Sherry could also devote 100% of her energy to the meet, knowing a good showing by the team could only help her get the inside track for the, soon to be vacant, head-coaching job.
After saying "I love you" and "goodbye" to each other for the weekend, Sherry and Mark hung up their phones and went there separate ways, for what they thought would be all weekend.
* * * * *
It was a few minutes till 2 in the afternoon when Mark wheeled his beat up Ford Bronco into the Collins' 1/2 mile long gravel driveway, wondering pensively what the day would hold, especially since he didn't have his wife around monitoring his every move.
"You're not gonna do anything you dumb son of a bitch," Mark told himself, laughing out loud knowing that all he was going to do was look if any attractive situations presented themselves.
Pulling his Bronco into a field opposite from where the main activities were going on, Mark scanned the collection of cars already there and knew immediately he was probably going to be the poorest person at the cookout.
With Sherry taking the team bus to college Station, Mark had the opportunity to drive the family Volvo. Thinking a Volvo just wouldn't look right at a pig roast however, Mark decided the rustic Bronco that he had kept since his college days would fit in better. Dropping his keys into his jean pocket, Mark scanned the bevy of BMW's, Lexus's , and deluxe SUV's and felt his feet seem to sink into the ground from his insecure financial inadequacy.
* * * * *
Mark's socio-economic fears were gradually put to rest as soon as he started to mingle with a lot of the folks already at the party. Knowing several folks from the office, including Bernadette and her husband Layne, helped him feel like he was fitting in and by the time he had finished his first Corona, he was conversing quite comfortably.
Bernadette, along with several of the other women at the cookout, seemed a tad disappointed that Sherry couldn't make it but they understood completely that Mark's wife had a lot of responsibility coaching Rice University's track team.
Weaving his way through the assortment of well to do rich folks, Mark kept a stray eye searching around the party for any sign of Geneva Switzer, the 22 year old secretary from the office. Grabbing a plate full of barbeque, a couple ears of corn and a huge helping of macaroni and cheese, Mark casually drifted towards the pool to eat and low and behold, Geneva was laying on a folding beach chair, sunning herself beside the Collins' huge in-ground swimming pool.