Roxanne and Willie

Note: This story is the twenty-seventh episode in a series entitled "Roxanne and Willie". If you have not read the previous twenty-six episodes of this series, I encourage you do so before beginning this chapter.

This is a dominant wife humiliates submissive husband story. That is the kind of story I write. If you do not enjoy these types of stories, I strongly recommend that you look for something else to read.

I didn't sleep very much on Monday night. When Tuesday morning finally arrived I didn't feel like going to work. I seriously considered calling Mark Rawlins and taking him up on his offer to cover my classes. I didn't. I may have been sad, angry and depressed, but I knew that sitting alone in a motel room wallowing in my misery was not going to make me feel any better.

Instead I got up and took a shower. I needed to be around people. I needed to try to return to my normal routine.

As I was walking to my car I realized that I hadn't eaten since yesterday morning. I stopped at a small cafe and had a good breakfast. It helped.

It was almost nine o'clock by the time I actually got to the University.

Diane, the secretary stopped me as soon as I walked into the Economics Department office. "Mr. Oliver, you're a very popular man this morning. You have a number of telephone messages." She picked up a pile of yellow memo notes. "There are three here from your wife and several from other people." Diane looked at me. "Mr. Oliver is everything okay?"

I nodded. "Everything is fine Diane." I didn't want to try to explain the situation to her.

I took the stack of messages. As I was walking to my office Diane said, "Mr. Oliver if there is anything I can do for you please ask. Everyone in the department really likes you. If you need us, were there for you."

I smiled at her. "Thank you Diane. I appreciate that. If I need anything I'll let you know."

I turned, went into my office, sat down at my desk, took out my laptop computer and turned it on. While the computer was starting up I paged through the telephone messages. There were three from Roxanne, one from Stevie, one from Ricky, two from Sandra and one from Julie. Obviously Roxanne had called Sandra and Julie.

That made me feel good. I was angry at Roxanne and she'd hurt me very badly, but I still loved her. I was worried about how she was coping with this. I was glad that she was in contact with Sandra and Julie. They would make a good support group for her.

I turned to my computer and opened my email. There were several new messages. One was from Roxanne. I opened it.

"Dear Willie,

I am so sorry about everything that happened in the last two days. I really don't know what got into me.

I have no excuses. My behavior was awful. I apologize. I won't blame you if you don't forgive me. I can't forgive myself. My only hope is that if I keep apologizing, you might some day find it in your heart to pardon me and let me back into your life.

I am staying with Julie and Sandra. They are wonderful friends. We sat up all last night talking about this. I am desperately trying to understand why I acted the way I did.

This morning I called Bob Overton and quit my job at the Auto Ranch. I promise you that I won't ever go back there. By the way, Bob was the older man that you collided with in the hallway. If it makes you feel any better he fired Ray Maxwell and Jimmy Reynolds.

Pete Jefferson has called me four times. I won't answer his calls and I won't return his calls. I promise you that I will never see him again. Willie I can't believe that I ever dreamed of having a baby with any man other than you.

Sweetheart, I am so sorry that I hurt you. I love you so much. You are the only man I care about. I know you hate me now. I don't blame you. I hate myself.

Please call or write. I desperately want to talk to you or hear from you.

Love Roxanne"

By the time I got to the end of the email I was crying, but I still closed it and turned off my computer.

Roxanne encouraged those men to hurt me in a way that tore my soul apart. It brought back a memory that I thought I had successfully buried forever. She did the one thing I can never forgive.

So much had happened in such a short time. I was confused, I was hurt and I was angry. Most of all, a very old and very serious wound had been reopened. I needed time. I wanted to avoid everyone. I wanted to be alone. I wanted a chance to think.

For two days I was successful. I had frequent telephone messages from Roxanne, Sandra, Julie, Brenda, Stevie and Ricky. I didn't return any of them. I also had numerous emails from those same people. I ignored all of them.

I knew these people were my friends. I understood that they were trying to help me. The problem was, I was too angry to accept help.

On Thursday afternoon the situation changed. It was five o'clock. As I was finishing my four o'clock lecture I looked at the back of my classroom. They were all standing there. I had to smile. They were a persistent group. It was Stevie, Ricky, Bobby, Mark, Jamal and Jason.

I dismissed my class and walked to the back of the room.

Stevie grinned at me. "Willie you give a fascinating lecture."

I chuckled. "I didn't know you guys had such a strong interest in economics."

Jason laughed. "I don't give a shit about economics. I'm looking for a client. I want to sue those bastards at Bob's Auto Ranch for everything they have."

Ricky looked at me. "Willie we're looking for a new friend that we seem to have suddenly lost."

They formed a circle around me.

I smiled at them. "You know you're an intimidating group."

Bobby shook his head in agreement. "Yes we've frequently been compared to the Hell's Angels."

Jamal patted my shoulder. "Willie we want you to come to our house. We're asking a favor, a big favor. We want you to spend five minutes with Roxanne."

"You guys have to talk about this Willie." It was Stevie.

I looked at him. "I'm not sure I'm ready to do that."

He looked back at me. "We understand that you're angry. We know that what happened on Monday was incredibly traumatic for you. Were guessing that there's something you haven't told anyone. Willie it's time to start talking. Please come home with us. You belong with us. We're your friends."

Jason walked over to me and put his arm around my shoulder. "Come on buddy, we'll drive."

He gently led me to the door. I let him do it. They were right. I wasn't sure that I could actually talk about this, but it was time to try. I also knew that I needed to try to say something to Roxanne. The problem was, I had no idea what it was that I wanted to say.

We walked out of the building. Their Lincoln was parked a block down the street in the Law School parking lot. They had used Sandra's parking pass.

I gave Mark and Bobby the keys to my car and pointed it out in the Economics Department parking lot.

The rest of us piled into the Lincoln. They actually have two Lincolns. The elegant cars are generally used for chauffeuring their wives to meetings with lovers, but they're also used when they want to travel as a group.

On the way home Stevie called Sandra and filled her in on what was happening.

We drove to Oak Grove Street and pulled up in front of Brenda, Maddie and April's house. As I got out of the car Stevie said; "Roxanne is inside, we'll be waiting at Sandra and Julie's"

I stood on the sidewalk. I didn't move. I couldn't move. After a minute Jason came up to me. "Come on buddy, I'll walk to the front door with you." It was easy to see why everyone liked Jason so much. He was an incredibly kind man."

Jason led me to the front steps. When he left he said, "Just go in and talk to her for a few minutes. It will help."

I opened the door and went inside. Roxanne was standing in the living room. She was alone.

She smiled at me. "Hello Willie."

I smiled back. "Hello Roxanne." It was obvious that we both felt very awkward.

After a moment Roxanne said, "Willie I am so sorry."

I put my hand up to stop her. "I know Roxanne, I know."

I closed my eyes. I saw a gang of people standing around me. All of them were all laughing. I was crying.

I opened my eyes and looked at Roxanne. "I'm sorry sweetheart. I can't do this right now." I turned and walked out the door.

The Lincoln was gone. So were all of the guys. There was only one person in view. It was Sandra Monroe. She was standing in the middle of the front sidewalk blocking the way. Her hands were on her hips, there was a scowl on her face.

She looked me square in the eyes. "Willie you're coming with me. You and I are going to have a talk."

She walked up to me, grabbed my arm and pulled me to her house. When we went through the front door I expected to see a large group of people, but the house was empty. Apparently they'd made a second plan just in case their first plan failed. I assumed that when they saw Sandra and me approaching they all went out the patio door. I was certain that everyone was now at Brenda's house comforting Roxanne.

Sandra led me to the couch. "Willie, Sit down."

As soon as I was seated, Sandra sat down next to me.

"Willie do you understand how much I love Stevie?"

"Yes, I think I do."

She smiled. "He's the most wonderful man in the entire world. For me the sun rises and sets on Steven Wagner. He's all that I care about."

I nodded. "I think he loves you to."

She grinned, "Oh I know he does." She paused. "I'm going to tell you why I know that Willie." Sandra stopped to think for a minute. Finally she said, "Just over a year ago now I left Stevie for another man? I accepted this other man's marriage proposal. We actually made wedding arrangements."

"I didn't know that. Stevie must have been devastated."

"He was."

"Why did you do it?"

Sandra laughed. "Because I was really really stupid. My parents had disowned me when I was eighteen. I desperately wanted to get back into their good graces. This man had a prestigious position and he was a good friend." She stopped. "He was one of my lovers. He was one of the men that first made Stevie a cuckold. He got a promotion at his job. It was a big promotion. He became a pillar of the community. I thought I could use his prestige to impress my mom and dad."

"So what did Stevie do?"

"That's what's truly amazing. He supported me. He loved me so much that he was willing to sacrifice himself for my own happiness."

"I don't understand."

"The guy's name was Roger. I was with Roger for about eight weeks. During that time Julie and Ricky got married. Stevie paid for their wedding." She shook her head. "Stevie's a prince." She smiled, "Anyway, at the wedding I was miserable. By that time I had figured out that all I really wanted in this world was to be with Stevie. At the same time Roger was becoming possessive and jealous. He knew I was a slut and he knew I loved Stevie. Both of those facts drove him crazy."

Sandra stopped for a moment. I looked at her. There were tears in her eyes. I put my arm around her. She smiled at me and kissed my cheek.

"I was miserable at the wedding. Roger wouldn't let me talk to Stevie. He wouldn't even let me look at him. Brenda helped me pass a note to Stevie. In the note I told him how miserable I was. I also told him that I still loved him and that I missed him." She sighed, "I ended the note by telling him that I was certain he now hated me."

Sandra looked into my eyes. "Do you know what Stevie wrote back to me?"

"No, tell me."

"I know it by heart. I'll never forget it."

Sandra closed her eyes and started to speak:

“Dear Sandra

I once told you that my love for you is unconditional. I still mean that. Sandra I could never hate you. I will love you no matter what happens. Baby I will always love you.

Whenever you start to feel bad please remember that as long as I am alive, there is one person in this world who loves you.

I miss you to.

I am glad you were able to visit your mother and father. In the time since you left me I have thought about this a lot. If I was in your place and was suddenly presented with the opportunity to get my parents back, I might very well do exactly what you did. My mom and dad are both dead so it could never happen, still it helps me to understand the dilemma you are facing.

Sandra I truly do love you. I once said to you in one of our kinky little ceremonies that your pleasure was all that mattered.

I meant what I said then and I still mean it now. Knowing that you are repairing your relationship with your father and mother makes the pain that I am going through much easier.

Sandra please do not feel guilty about what you did to me. I have spent many hours thinking about this. If I could magically be transported back to that night we met at the party at Ty Cummings house, I would do exactly the same thing again. I would even do it with the full knowledge that I could only have you for ten months.

Sandra you gave me the best ten months of my life. I will be eternally grateful for the time we spent together.

This fall I plan to leave the country. I have never been to Europe. I would like to see London, Paris and Rome. I plan to be gone for several years.

If I am gone I believe it will make it easier for you to make the transition to loving Roger. Sandra I want you to be happy. If you are going to marry Roger, you must learn to love him and it is absolutely essential that you forget about me.

Love,

Stevie"

Sandra was crying. "Willie he loved me so much that he was willing to go to Europe so he would be out of the picture and I could learn to love Roger."

I smiled at Sandra. "Stevie is a wonderful man."

Sandra looked at me. "So are you Willie." She smiled. "Julie and I are both falling in love with you. You're exactly like both of our boys, you're wonderful"

Sandra sighed. "What neither Julie and I can understand is why you're so angry. Roxanne made a horrible mistake, We know she really hurt you; but Willie you're a big man, a very big man. You're tough enough to shake that off without a second thought. Tell me what's going on."

I closed my eyes. "If I tell you, will you promise not to tell anyone else?"

She looked at me. "No Willie, I won't make that promise. Roxanne has a right to know. If you don't tell her I will."

I stared at Sandra for a long time. She stared right back at me. Finally I said, "Okay."

I studied the floor for several minutes while I collected my thoughts and then I looked at Sandra. "My mother and father died in car accident when I was seven. I went to live with my dad's older brother Albert. He was a farmer in east Iowa. He was a wonderful man. He loved me and took good care of me, but he was old. He was twenty years older than my dad. He was also a bachelor farmer. He was very conservative. He sheltered me."

I smiled at Sandra. "He used to say that nothing good happens after nine o'clock at night." Sandra and I both laughed.

"He kept me busy working on the farm after school. I was very sheltered. I couldn't go to dances or football games or really do anything where I'd be with other kids. He wasn't being mean, he was just afraid that something bad would happen to his boy. He loved me, he loved me so much that he couldn't bear the thought of something happening to me. He kept me safe, but I was so very very lonely.

"At the end of October during my senior year in high school I talked him into letting me join the math club." I smiled. "I know it was really nerdy and kind of lame, but I got to be with other kids. There was a girl there, her name was Marcy. We liked each other." I grinned at Sandra. "I sort of had a girlfriend."

I shook my head. "The math club met every Wednesday after school. I lived for those Wednesday afternoons. I was so happy."

I took a deep breath. "One afternoon I had to go to the bathroom. While I was standing at the urinal four football players walked in. They looked at me. One of them said, Hey we got us a math nerd. One of his buddies said, You know what we do with math nerds. The first one started the chant, Swirlee, swirlee, swirlee. All four of them picked up the chant. They grabbed me and dragged me to the toilet. They held my face in the bowl for a long time. I almost drowned. When they finally let me up, one of them punched me in the stomach. I doubled over. He'd knocked the wind out of me. They left me there. I lay on the floor of the bathroom stall crying for a long time. When I finally managed to get up I looked at myself. My shirt was soaking wet. I couldn't go back to the math club. I was too ashamed. Eventually I went home. I couldn't tell anyone. My uncle would have just taken me out of the math club."

Sandra put her arms around my shoulders and held me. "Poor baby."

For a short time I lay with my face pressed against Sandra's breasts. It wasn't sexual. It was more like the comfort a mother gives her child.

After awhile I looked up at her. "I went back to the math club the next Wednesday. I didn't drink any liquids at school all day. It worked. I didn't have to go to the bathroom and I got home safely."

I paused and took a deep breath. "The following week things didn't go so well. I didn't drink any liquids again. Again I didn't use the bathroom, but this time it didn't matter. At least a dozen of them were waiting for me when I walked out of the math club room.

The guy who'd attacked me two weeks earlier stopped me and said, Lookee here, it's Shirlee Swirlee. Where you been Shirlee? We missed you last week. We think you're avoiding us. He grabbed me. I fought back but three of his friends helped him. They dragged me into the bathroom. Everyone was chanting, Swirlee, Swirlee, Swirlee.

"They pushed my face into the toilet and held me down. They flushed the toilet at least five times. When they were done they threw me on the floor and took turns kicking me. Everyone was laughing and chanting, Shirley Swirlee, Shirley swirlee, Shirley swirlee.

"When they finally let me go I looked up. Marcy was staring at me. She shook her head, turned and walked out of the bathroom. She never acknowledged my existence again."

I stared at Sandra. "I never went back to the math club.”

I started to cry. "They stoled my friends. They stoled my pathetic little social life. Why did they do it? I never did anything to them. What did they gain from it? Why did they have to hurt me?"

I started sobbing. Sandra held me in her arms and rocked me back and forth. "Let it out baby, let it all out."

For a long time I cried while Sandra rocked me. Finally she kissed my forehead and said, "Willie honey you can't let them beat you."

I looked up at her.

She smiled at me. "They stoled your friends once. They stoled your girlfriend once. Don't let them do it again."

I looked at Sandra. Suddenly It all became clear. Roxanne was just as vulnerable as I was. She needed to be loved. She would do anything to be loved. She would have another man's baby. She would do what the group was doing even if it meant chanting swirlee while I was being abused. We desperately needed each other. Separately we were weak. Together we could feed off of each other and grow. Together we could become strong, but we had a long way to go and we had to be willing to forgive each other when we were weak.

I stood up. "Where's Roxanne?"

"She's at Brenda's"

I walked out the patio door and crossed to Brenda's house. When I entered the living room everyone was there. Julie, April and Brenda were in a circle around Roxanne. She was crying. They were trying to comfort her.

I walked up to Roxanne and stared into her eyes. "I love you. Please forgive me. I forgot who we are. I forgot how much we need each other. Please take me back."

Roxanne looked up at me. For a moment she was speechless and then she stood up. "Willie I'm so sorry. I don't know why I acted the way I did. Please forgive me."