Rob and Gail

I lost myself in work and fortunately there was so much of it that I never had a free moment to spend thinking about Gail.

I hadn't been home five minutes when the phone rang and caller ID showed that it was Gail. I didn't take the call or any of the four others that came after it before unplugging the phone and going to bed.

I skipped gym the next morning for the same reason I had skipped the day before and instead went for my run in the morning rather than in the evening after work as was my usual habit. During the run I realized that unless I changed gyms there was no way I could avoid Gail. Plus I was doing well with my tai chi and I didn't want to give it up and have to start all over with another instructor. So, hoping that Gail was still going to the gym in the mornings I sucked it up and showed up for my tai chi class that evening and for a change the Fates and the Gods didn't screw with me.

Until class was over and I got back to my truck.

Sitting on my right front fender was Gail. I stopped about ten feet from the truck and just stood there and looked at her.

"We need to talk Rob."

"I thought that everything that needed to be said was covered the other night."

"No it wasn't. You need to hear me out. It won't hurt any to give me my say."

"Horse shit Gail. You have all ready hurt me with what you have all ready said.

"Then the damage is done so what I still have to say won't hurt you any worse."

I figured that she would keep after me until I gave in so I thought I might as well get it over with.

"Okay Gail. Go ahead and speak your piece."

"Can we get in the truck? I don't want people passing by to hear what I'm saying."

I hit the button on the remote to unlock the doors and we got in the truck.

"First off" she started, "Give me credit for being totally up front and honest with you Rob. I know you won't look at it the way I do, but ask yourself if anything I did when I was away from you hurt us. No it did not. Granted, you didn't know about it, but you had no need to know because as I told you once before we were not in a committed relationship. You offered me a committed relationship and I was totally honest with you.

"I want that relationship Rob. I really do want your ring on my finger, but like I told you; I will not cheat on you, but I have my needs. Can't you understand that?"

"Of course I can understand it, but what you asked of me was that I condone what you would be doing to meet those needs. You were asking me to let my fiancée fuck other guys. Just what kind of guy would that make me? A cuckolded wimp is what. No way Gail. No fucking way!"

"You are not a wimp Rob and I'm fully aware of it. A wimp wouldn't have tried to protect me the way you have and cuckold is just a made up word and it means nothing. It is just a word that will be inside your head and no one is going to call you a cuckold because no one is going to know. I don't do anything with any one you know and I don't do it around people who know the both of us.

"You want me Rob and I want you. All I'm asking is that you let me do what I need to do to let us happen. It doesn't even need to be twice a week Rob. May once every two or three weeks. I don't really know. I've never tried to go for any length of time without it. I don't know because I have no frame of reference since I've never had to go without. I wouldn't rub your face in it. I wouldn't tell you when I was going to do it. It would only be at times when we weren't together and it wouldn't necessarily be all the times we weren't together so you wouldn't know when.

"The main thing is that I would not be cheating because you would be aware. I want you Rob, but I will not, absolutely will not, cheat on you. We cannot happen if you cannot accept what I need to do. Just remember this Rob; I could have said yes and taken your ring and then told you that I play cards with some of my sorority sisters every Tuesday or Wednesday night and used those nights to scratch my itch with you being none the wiser, but I won't do that to my man. Once again Rob; I will not cheat!!

"I want you Rob and I believe that you want me. You are the only one who can decide on how bad you want me. I'm yours if you can do what it takes" and she got out of the truck and walked away.

+++++++++++++++++++++++

Lying on my bed staring up at the ceiling I went over what Gail had said. I did want her, but bad enough to do what she said I'd have to do? I thought about the periods when I'd dated her and she had seen 'to her needs' both times and she was right in that it had never hurt us, but that was only because I hadn't known. Would it have hurt us if I had known? I didn't have an answer for that.

Like most red blooded guys in this age of computers I'd cruised the Net and visited porn sites and I'd visited story sites and read some of the stories. In the cheating stories the guys always ended up asking themselves why the woman did it. Weren't they getting the job done? Wasn't their dick big enough and stuff like that, but I wasn't in the same situation. My prowess or lack thereof didn't enter in to it because we had never made love.

Yes, I was pissed and angry when I heard what she had done, but I couldn't overlook the fact that it was Gail herself who had told me and I did have to accept that she was being up front and honest with me about it all.

I woke up in the morning at three AM and couldn't go back to sleep so I put on my running shoes and went for an early morning run. My runs served a dual purpose. They helped keep me fit and it helped clear the cobwebs out of my head. I could usually think a little more clearly after a run.

When I got home I grabbed my gym bag and the garment bag with the clothes I would wear to work and headed for the gym. I wasn't going to spend my life ducking Gail so facing up to the situation needed to start now.

Gail was already standing in front of the doors waiting for them to open when I got there so I sat in the truck until Nancy opened up to let the people in and didn't get out of the truck until Gail went inside. I wasn't going to avoid being where she was, but I saw no need in putting myself in a situation where we could stand around together and give her another chance to talk to me.

Gail wasn't in the circuit room so I assumed that she was down in cardio and I decided to do the machines first. I was on the last machine, the one called "Rear Row Deltoids" and just finishing the last of my hundred reps when Gail came into the area. She called out "Good morning Rob" and I acknowledged her with a nod, got up and headed for cardio.

I'd had a good run that morning so I took a pass on the treadmill and opted for the Stairmaster. After fifteen minutes of that I headed for the locker room, put on my trunks and headed for the hot tub only to find that Gail was all ready there. It was a big hot tub and could seat up to twenty-four so I didn't need to sit within talking distance of Gail. I sat down as far from her as I could get, leaned back, closed my eyes and soaked.

The swirling water, bubbles and the noise of the jets masked the approach of Gail and I had no idea she was sitting close to me until she said:

"I didn't sleep well last night Rob. All I could do was lie there and think about what might have been or maybe I should say could have been or even more accurately what should have been."

I opened my eyes and looked at her for a couple of seconds before saying:

"And whose fault is that Gail? You are the one who can't keep your legs closed and don't give me any of that horse shit about how you can't go a week without sex. You could if you wanted to, but the fact of the matter is that you don't want to. You try and sell the song and dance that it wouldn't be cheating if I was to go along with it and that is absolute bull shit. If you are in a relationship with someone and are fucking someone else you are cheating! Period!!

"There might be some warped dudes out there who can accept it when their woman fucks some one else, but I'm not one of them. My woman has to be mine and mine alone. I will not share! You can't commit to me and that's on you Gail. If you can't sleep because of your actions that is your tough luck and not mine."

I got out of the hot tub, showered, dressed and went to work.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

For the next two weeks I saw Gail every day Monday through Friday and while she never did try to talk to me I do have to admit that I couldn't take my eyes off of her. What had started that day in college still held; I had to see her. There was something deep inside me that required that visual fix.

I spent a lot of time thinking about how unfair life was. To want something so bad and to know it could be yours if only you were a little more accommodating. It was unbelievable how many rationalizations I was able to come up with that would let me give in to what Gail said she required. Everything from a simple "Why should I care. I'm not using it" to a more complicated "If you really want something bad enough shouldn't you be willing to pay the cost?"

I knew Gail was my other half the instant I laid eyes on her for the first time and every minute that I'd spent in her company since then had only solidified that belief. So why couldn't I do what she wanted? What could it hurt? It would get me what I wanted. What I craved. It really hadn't hurt us when we dated right? And I wouldn't even know when she was doing it. Just that it might - only might - happen on the nights we didn't spend together. And she had said that it would never be with anyone I knew or around anyone who knew the both of us. Those were the thoughts roaring through my head as I tried to make myself do what I needed to do to make Gail mine.

And then one morning I woke up and faced a few things. If she couldn't go a week without what would she do if we were married and I wasn't around? And that would happen. I knew going into it that my job was going to eventually require travelling on business. There were industry conventions, seminars and the like that would be out of town and require me to be gone a week or two. What if I got hurt and was unable to perform for a couple of weeks? And what if my sex drive wasn't as strong as hers? I had some dark thoughts. Dark thoughts indeed.

+++++++++++++++++++++

I guess I really wasn't as strong and firm as my "I won't share!" statement indicated. I kept sliding closer and closer to the precipice. It came to a head on a Friday three weeks after I'd gotten out of the hot tub and stormed off leaving Gail behind.

I was again in the hot tub following my workout and about five minutes after I'd sat down Gail joined me. She sat down away from me, but still close enough to talk and after a minute or two of silence she said:

"I've missed you Rob. Can't we at least be friends?"

I wanted to be more - much much more - than just friends, but I didn't say that. What I said was:

"We will always be that Gail."

"Maybe close enough friends that we could occasionally date?"

The plaintive tone of her voice struck a chord in me and my downfall started with an:

"I don't see why not."

When I left the tub to dress and go to work I had a date for that evening.

In the following three weeks I went out with Gail nine times and at the end of the third week we went up to my parent's cabin for the weekend and the last nail was driven into my coffin. I let Gail talk me into sleeping with her. Just sleeping. No love making. When we got there I told her the sleeping arrangements would be the same as before with her taking the bed in the loft and me using the sofa bed, but at bedtime she said:

"Sleep with me Rob. Please? I'll be good. I won't push anything. I just want to be held. To snuggle up to you and cuddle."

I said yes and when I woke up the next morning with Gail wrapped around me I knew that I would do whatever I had to do to keep us together.

I didn't jump right out and say "Okay Gail; I'll accept your conditions." Another two weeks went by and I listened to her trying to talk me into what she wanted and I did spend a lot of time thinking on it. Then on a Friday night date she said:

"Please Rob. I'll do my best not to do anything. I can't promise, but I'll do my absolute best. I swear I will."

As I've said I'd given it a lot of thought and it all boiled down to "Was I willing to pay the price for what I wanted" and in the end the answer was yes. But was she? And the answer to that one was no. She was not willing to give up fulfilling her desires in order to get me. But would she be willing to suffer some humiliation? It was time to find out.

In all the thinking I had been doing there had been some dark thoughts as well and those dark thoughts were going to be dropped onto the table. When she finished saying "I'll do my best Rob; I swear I will" I said:

"I guess I can give it a try Gail, but I do have some conditions that will have to be met."

"Conditions? What are they?"

"The first one is a matter of trust. I am only willing to go along with you because of your up front honesty about what you have been doing and will probably continue doing your absolute best not withstanding. I am counting on that honesty to continue. So the first condition is that you never lie to me. No lies Gail; not even little white ones and no evasions if I ask questions.

"Next you will never break a date with me to be with one of your fuck buddies."

She started to say something, but I cut her off with "You can have your stay when I finish. If you break a date with me you should know that I will suspect that it is so you can see some one else to take care of those needs you keep throwing up to me so you need to be very careful Gail. Very, very careful because a date broken with me could very well kill us off. If we set up a date for say a Tuesday and you break it it will most likely be the kiss of death. However, if I ask for a date on Tuesday and you say you can't that will be acceptable.

"Next on my list is that from Friday after work until midnight Sunday you are mine. These are my days exclusively and family functions are the only acceptable excuse for not giving me those days.

"This last one is the biggie. As long as you are seeing other guys I will no longer perform oral sex on you since I could very easily pick up with my mouth whatever diseases some other guy might give you. You have heard it said that when you have sex with someone you are having sex with everyone that person has had sex with right? Three days before the wedding you will have to give me a report from a reputable local doctor or lab stating that you are disease free."

"How can you ask me to do that? I thought you loved me. Asking me to do that is just disgusting."

"Now you know how I feel about what you are asking me to do. Anyway, those are my conditions. If you want us to go forward you will accept them. You accept them and I'll slide a ring on your finger and you can turn your mother loose to do her thing."

"I'm going to need to think about this."

"No you don't Gail. If you want us together as bad as you say you do there is nothing to think about. If you really do need to think about it I'll take it to mean that your feelings for me are not as strong as they need to be for us to be in a committed relationship. If you can't say "Of course I accept Rob; anything to get you" then both of us are wasting each other's time and we need to put an end to things and get on with our lives.

"This is our defining moment Gail. What you say in the next thirty seconds will determine the start of our futures. We will move into those futures either together or singly. Your call."

Gail sat looking at me for maybe ten seconds and then she finally said:

"You know I have to accept Rob. I know we belong together and I will do what I have to do to make it happen."

"All right then Gail Marcella Luoma will you marry me?"

"Yes Rob I will."

I reached into my pocket for the ring and then I reached for her left hand and said:

"I all ready did the knee thing" as I slid the ring on her finger, "And while this might not seem like an overly romantic moment it is a totally sincere gesture on my part."

"It is good enough for me Rob. The important thing, at least to me, is that I now have your ring on my finger."

The next day Gail took me to meet her parents. I hadn't met them before, but I had talked to her mother several times on the phone when calling Gail. They seemed very nice and I didn't sense any displeasure as to their daughter' choice for a mate.

Gail's dad asked if we had picked a date for the wedding yet and Gail said:

"It is up to mom. She has been talking about what she was going to do wedding wise for the last four years. If it were up to me I'd get the license and blood tests done and have a civil ceremony next week."

"Oh no you won't" her mother said and got up and left the room. She came back a couple of minutes later with a calendar. She sat down and looked through it and then said:

"I think the second weekend in March will work."

"That's better than the six or seven months I expected" Gail said and then she turned to me and asked, "How about it sugar; can you wait four months for me?"

"I can, but there is one thing that hasn't been discussed before now and that is the fact that my mother will undoubtedly want to get involved."

"Just have her call me dear" Gail's mother said.

"I'll do better than that. Gail and I will take you and my parents out to dinner on Thursday. You need to get to know each other anyway."

"We would love to meet them" Gail's dad said.

I noticed Gail's face lose her smile when I said that I'd set up the dinner. Gail had already met my folks and had seemed to like them so why the lost smile at my setting up a meeting of parents? And then it hit me. She had been planning on meeting one of her fuck buddies that evening. That thought wiped the smile off my face, but then I got a grip on myself. I'd known it was going to happen sooner or later and I had all ready agreed to look the other way.

When I left to go home Gal's goodnight kiss didn't lack the usual passion so I guessed she didn't know that I'd caught her change of expression and figured out the cause. As I drove home I wondered for the hundredth time if I'd made a mistake. I didn't know any other guy who would accept what I had accepted, but I clung to the thought that if you wanted something bad enough you had to be willing to pay the price.

++++++++++++++++++++++++

My parents and Gail's got along great and my mom and Gail's mom exchanged some ideas and arranged to get together several times over the coming weeks. My dad said:

"It is out of your hands now Rob. All you have to do now is show up on time on the appointed day."

"That's not true" my mom said. "He has to pick out his best man and ushers and make up a list of who he wants invited. And the sooner the better."

I told her I'd get to work on it right away. Friday I called Mike and asked him to be my best man and he said he would and then I called half a dozen good buddies and lined them up to be ushers and they all said yes. There were another dozen or so people I knew well enough and liked enough to invite and I made up the list and gave it to my mother on Friday. Then I picked Gail up and we headed for the cabin to spend a lazy weekend.

The next four months flew by. I was with Gail on the average of four times a week and I had no idea of what she did on the nights she wasn't with me and I made no attempt to find out. Gail had told me that she would do her absolute best to control her urges and I was hoping that she could do it.

I've mentioned Mike. But he wasn't the only buddy that I had. There were lots of others who for the most part did nothing to warrant mention in this tale. The same could not be said for some of Gail's friends. There were four in particular and all four had been Gail's friends since the second and third grades.