Why is it that all the hot chicks like the 'bad boy' looking guys? I dealt with it in high school; college and even now that I've hit twenty-five.
I'm not a six foot two hunk with a chiseled body sporting a twelve pack, not even close or the guy with the two-day-old beard, with the flowing locks who rides a custom chopper. Me? Well I'm more like the five foot ten, medium built average Joe with the cropped hair; not a geek, but far from the bad boy type. Instead of a chopper, I drive a two-year-old Kia but it's paid for. This summer I purchase my first home; a three-bedroom place that needs a hell of a lot of work, but at least I own something instead of just paying rent. So I guess I've got a few things going for me.
I had two girlfriends in the last six months and dumped them both for the same reason. I call it the wet tongue/crotch syndrome. Let me explain how it went. For no better reason let's just say I'd been going out with Candy for almost three months. We got along great and I really enjoyed being with her. We hadn't gone all the way, because, like an idiot I was moving slow because I thought she was special. Saturday, after dinner we went to a nice dance club with one other couple, Matt and Kathy, who were already married. This is how it went down.
"Kathy do you see that guy over there? Oh my God is he hot," Candy said to my married friends wife.
"Candy, if I wasn't already married I'd give a months pay to strap that one on and go for a long test ride."
"I know what you're talking about. Come on, let's go get a drink so we can get a closer look at him, ok?"
The two of them go over to the bar, tongues hanging out, and they now see he's with two other hot guys. The next thing I know they've got their drinks in hand and they're just standing next to the dance floor talking to them while her husband and I sit at our table in awe looking at what's transpiring. When Candy starts dancing with one of them I lose it. If it wasn't for Matt, I would have gone over there and made a total ass out of myself.
"Tell Candy she can ride her new friend home for all I care because I'm out of here."
"Easy Steve, she's just flirting that's all."
"Matt, you may not give a shit about what Kathy's doing, but having your girlfriend flirt with another guy while she's with you is not what I'm into. Just tell her I said she can blow him, fuck him or live with him; I don't give a shit." I grabbed my coat and walked out as Matt screamed at me to cool down.
I was halfway home when my cell rang; it was Candy.
"Steve, why did you leave me here?"
"I figure you'd want to be alone with your new fuck buddy so I called it a night.
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"Candy, do me one quick favor will you?" I asked. "Reach down and feel your panties; are they wet? Now think what it would be like if I hit on a beautiful woman right in front of you and then took her on the dance floor and dry humped her in front of God and everyone else? Would you like that?"
She was saying that it was all just a little innocent fun and I was blowing it out of proportion.
"Tell your next boyfriend that," and I hung up.
She pestered me for a couple of weeks and even Kathy said I was blowing this way out of proportion, so said the other wet tongue girl.
"Kathy, I don't share my girlfriends and I'm sure as hell not a wimp. If that's what she wants she can go find one and leave me the fuck alone. And she finally did.
The next girl was named Diane. Same club but this time she asked me. Her ex-boyfriend came over to our table and asked her, not me, if she would like to dance.
"Steve, do you mind if I dance with Gary?"
"Diane, you're with me not him."
"Steve, it's just one dance, I'll be back in five minutes," Diane said walking onto the dance floor with him.
It wasn't one dance it was two. I paid our bar tab, grabbed my coat and started walking out. I didn't make it all the way out before she caught me.
"Steve, where are you going? "Wait a minute, I'll get my stuff."
"Since you like your ex so much, he can give you a ride home."
"Steve, it was just a dance."
"Diane, when you asked me if it was alright and I said no, what about no didn't you understand? Well, you made your choice, now you're free to dance with him all night." At that I turned and walked out to my car; she never called me and I sure as hell never called her. As I said, you don't disrespect the guy you're with; well not me anyway. After that I kind of shied away from any serious relationships. I still went out but that was about it.
Then I met Rhonda. Lovely, beautiful, good looking, sexy and a dozen other good adjectives couldn't come close to describing how I felt about her. She worked for a temp agency and was doing overflow work for our marketing department. It took me two days to get up enough courage to even talk to her. It's not like she was a goddess or a ten, it was just that something about her drove me up the wall. The way she walked, spoke and smiled made me weak in the knees; I felt like I was a teen-ager having my first real crush.
"Do you mind if I join you for lunch?" I asked two days later.
"Sure, it'll be nice to have a little company for a change," she said moving her food over to make room for me. "My name is Rhonda and I'm working in marketing for now," she said with a big smile.
"I'm Steve, and I'm the assistant distribution manager for the warehouse, " I said extending my hand.
"Nice to meet you. Have you worked here long?"
"Just two and a half years. This was my first job out of college."
"I had one year but had to drop out," is all she said about it.
So it went that day and every day there after. It got to the point where she would talk and I would just listen and look at her. My boss started teasing me that I was in 'puppy love.' When I asked him what that meant, he would just say I looked like a little puppy with my tongue hanging out as I followed right behind her.
"Ask her out, it's obvious that she likes you, why I don't have a fucking clue," he said laughing out loud before telling me to get my head out of the clouds and to get back to work.
"Rhonda, you want to go out to a movie or grab dinner this weekend?"
"Steve, I can't Friday, but Saturday would work."
"Then it's a date." I said now proud of myself; I was the man.
She gave me her address, phone number and we set the time. I thought dinner would be a better idea, this way we could talk without everyone listening in, like in the lunchroom.
I was about ten minutes early so I sat in my car and listened to the radio; I didn't want to look too anxious. I knocked on her door and she was right there.
"Shall we go," she said not even inviting me in. I didn't care, because I had her all to myself tonight.
She said her dinner was excellent but I just picked at mine as I watched her every move. We talked until they threw us out and then I suggested coffee and dessert at Baker's Square and that's where we ended up. Rhonda took one bite of her pie, pushed it away and said she was stuffed.
"Take it home and have it for breakfast and if you want you can take mine too; I haven't even touched it." I didn't want this night to end but by eleven she said it was getting late. I guess that was my cue to take her home; I took the long way around.
"Steve, I had a wonderful time," she said outside her door.
"Is it ok if I kiss you?" I said and then thought, what a dork thing to say. "Why didn't I just take her in my arms and lay a big one on her," I thought immediately there after.
Well, she didn't say no so I just took one and then another and finally gave her a big hug.
"We've got to do this again and soon," my brain screamed at me. "If you're not busy, maybe we can do this again during the week?"
"I'm usually pretty busy during the week, but if you'd like, I'm free next Saturday," I made a date right then and there. I told her this time she could pick the restaurant. I took two more kisses before taking me and my hard-on home for a little manual relief. I was smitten, I was in love, hell, and I was in lust with her.
We went out every weekend for the better part of two months. When she said this was her last week at our company I was crushed.
"Maybe something else will come along here," I said trying to be optimistic.
"I've all ready got another job lined up. It's on the other side of town and if every thing goes right, it'll turn into a full time position; and that's what I really need."
After another month of dating I told her I really cared about her and hoped she felt the same way about me. I'd gotten to second base and I really wanted to slide into home but I didn't want Rhonda to think I was just out to use her.
"Steve, I need to tell you something," is how she phrased it. "And, I don't know exactly how to tell you," she said wringing her hands. "You see, I like you too but I'm afraid what I've got to say may effect the way you feel about me," Rhonda said holding my hands now.
"Just say it. You're not dying are you?"
She laughed. "Nothing quiet that bad."
