Research

I am incredibly blessed. It was my dream to be a writer and had married a guy who fully supported this. As he went off to work each day, I got to stay at home engrossed on my laptop writing what hopefully would become the next big thing. My friends and family were incredible jealous of this and mainly thought I just lay around doing nothing all day which was nonsense.

Some weeks I would write non-stop and churn out chapter after chapter. Other weeks I would barely get a sentence out. But I loved writing and immersed myself in each of my stories really dedicating myself to researching whatever gripping story I was writing about.

My next story was to be about a woman internet dating her way to true love. It had always intrigued me how dating had changed. I had met the love of my life at university IRL but had many friends who had used the internet to meet their partner or just find a casual hook up. I just needed to find out more about how things worked now. My husband encouraged me to join up to sites using a fake profile and see what happened. Maybe I would get some stories for my book.

What he didn't know was how addicting these sites were. I would sit for hours chatting to different guys who would spend their time complimenting me and yes sending me lots of pictures of a certain part of their anatomy. I must admit it did wonders for my self-esteem. I had decided to use real photos of myself to some of these guys but with my face cut out. If I did become a well-known author I didn't want a scandal written about my secret online life.

I don't know how it happened but one day I realised that I had spoken to the same guy for the last 10 days in a row for hours at a time. His name was Jack. In my defence, he was so hot! He had a body you could just stare at for hours without getting bored (which I admit I did on a daily basis!).

When I realised that I had started to develop some kind of feelings for him I decided to tell him that I was married and that I was researching a book. This didn't seem to deter him though. He said that this made it hotter for him and that he also was married. This turned me on a lot and I did spend that afternoon playing with myself thinking of sneaking around behind our spouses. I felt incredibly guilty and decided to spoil my husband that night if you know what I mean! I felt so bad knowing that he had a unknowing wife and that I was the other women. What had become of me.

But I couldn't get over the fact that this incredible hot married guy wanted to hook up with me and how turned on this made me. Every time I tried to break it off he would say something that would drive me right back to him.

He suggested that we meet up and see if we have any chemistry. I thought this could be a good idea because I loved my husband and I thought I would get there and discover there was no chemistry and it would break the fantasy spell.

I decided to be a little honest with my husband. I told him that I thought I should go on a fake date with one of the guys online to see what they are like on a first date. I told him also that I would go with a friend and would meet in a very public place. And that it would be a one off.

What I wasn't suspecting was how supporting he would be. He told me to go for it. He thought he was a fantastic idea. I had always known that he wasn't the jealous type and that he trusted me but this just made me feel worse. Why did he trust me? Did I even trust myself?

So, I decided to set the date and meet up with Jack at a bar half way between our town where no one would recognise us. The problem I faced next was what to wear for the date. I didn't want to wear something too slutty but also didn't want to wear something too conservative. I decided to send him a message the morning of our meet asking him what he would like me to wear. I was liking the confidence I had online. A few minutes later I received a message back which just said

no underwear

. I was shocked. Did he really think this would work? Was he joking? I thought about blowing the whole thing off. But I have to admit a little bit of me still wanted to go and find out for myself. To meet the guy who I had daydreamt about for the last few months.

I decided to go but I wore a summer dress but left my underwear on. I was not going to let him dictate what I wore. I set off and drove to the bar which was about 40 minutes away. When I pulled up in the carpark I felt really anxious and almost drove away a few times. It took me 20 minutes to pluck up the courage to get out my car. In the end, I called my husband who told me to just go in and if I felt uncomfortable to just get up and leave. Why did he have to be so supportive?

I walked into the bar. It was pretty empty but I spotted him straight away. He looked exactly like he did in his profile. I could see his strong arms from across the bar and his beautifully chiselled chin made me nervous all over again. Had he seen me? Could I still escape? But then he looked up and I could tell that he knew it was me.

I walked over trying my best to walk sexily. For some reason, I didn't want to be a let-down to him. I hadn't considered that he could be disappointed in me. He stood up to greet me and gently kissed me on my cheek. I suddenly felt very out of my depth. I had not dated since university.

I sat down nervously and he told me how gorgeous I looked. I felt my cheeks go red. After that the conversation flowed really naturally and I realised that I really did like this guy but he still wasn't my husband. I couldn't envision a life with him but I definitely could envision ripping his clothes off. I concluded what I had being feeling was just lust. I had a great sex life but like everyone I still had weak moments and private thoughts.

We had gone through 2 bottles of wine before I realised that the bar was filling up. One thing I hadn't failed to notice was how much our legs kept touching. I was so turned on. There was nothing more I wanted at this point than his hands all over my body.

I excused myself to the bathroom to take a breath. What should I do? Could I leave without him noticing? Or should I go back in there and live out my fantasy. I decided that I should at least have some fun and keep flirting.

Then a voice inside me told me to take off my underwear and go and hand it to him. See what he would make of that. I felt myself get very wet at this very thought. I quickly slid down my thong and held it in a tight grip hoping no one in the bar would know what I was holding.

I strode self-assuredly back to our booth and handed him my thong as I sat down. He just looked at me and smiled. Our conversation continued naturally before I felt his hand on my leg. It felt so wrong but also, I did nothing to discourage it. Hadn't I provoked this? Isn't this what I wanted?

His hand moved higher up my leg and was now on my exposed thigh as I let out a gasp whilst meeting his gaze. We had gradually slid around the booth and were sitting next to each other. His hand was so close to touching my wetness that I couldn't stand it any longer. My lips went for his. I kissed him and whilst I could feel his tongue against mine I pushed his hand with mine onto my other lips.

"There is a hotel around the corner," he said as he pulled lips away from me.

"Let's go," I replied desperately.