It's been a while, but I had this story in the files, all finished and ready to post. I never did, I don't recall why, I just didn't. It's in a similar vein as Just Plain Bob. As it has no real ending (it does, but I know what some readers will say). As usual, I write for my own enjoyment and share so I can spread the joy.
"SON OF A BITCH!"
His wife's vehement declaration reached his ears at the same time he walked into the bedroom.
Shortly after they met, Raymond became well versed in Dorothy's explosive reactions. It was at a highly recommended restaurant; they were on a second date when Dorothy's food arrived, and she quickly discovered the meat wasn't cooked to her order. The exchange was going well with the waitress who'd brought their meals and who was about to return Dorothy's meal to the kitchen in exchange for another, until a haughty waiter intervened, claiming that they would have to be charged for the extra meal.
That's when Dorothy went off, letting the waiter have it with an intensity of volume and decidedly unladylike language. They were eventually asked to leave by the maitre d, but not before having the satisfaction of knowing the waiter was terminated. That was Raymond's first experience with Dorothy's emotional volcanic eruptions. Although there had been several more such incidents since their wedding day, very few had been directed at him in the last 23 years.
This was one of those times.
"MOTHERFUCKER! GET INTO THE LIVINGROOM RIGHT THIS INSTANT!" screeched Dorothy at Raymond.
He hadn't heard her enter the house, plus he thought she'd be away a bit longer.
Sighing loudly, Raymond momentarily toyed with the idea of simply ignoring his wife.
However, that would delay the confrontation only briefly. It was better just to get whatever had her panties twisted over with as quickly as possible. Balance would thus return to life that much quicker.
Turning his next step into a about-face, he briskly walked down the wooden planked hall way--his steps echoing weirdly in the silence--into the carpeted living room.
The living room always reminded Raymond of an austere physician's office. The modern furniture that Dorothy had selected from that popular Swedish furniture store decorated the living room. The eclectic simplicity of the room's layout seemed out of place in a home, but Dorothy liked it, so Raymond put up with it.
"What is it, Dorothy?" asked Ray in a calm but stiff manner. He was anything but calm and was actually furious at Dorothy's demeaning attitude. It was getting more difficult to deal with her vicious diatribes.
"Don't you dare act innocent, asshole!" said Dorothy in a righteous tone of voice. "Timothy here has told me the scoop on you."
Raymond had noticed Timothy Hannity when he'd walked into the living room, but he'd never cared for the man, and now even less so, so he hadn't bothered to acknowledge him. "I see," remarked Raymond nonchalantly.
Then, letting the moment drag on into a tense silence, he asked, "What' scoop' might that be?", while studiously ignoring Hannity.
"YOU KNOW WHA-" began Dorothy, her fury renewed, but Raymond spoke up, louder and more vehemently than his wife could have ever conceived possible.
"SHADDUP!"
Dorothy's face became livid even as her expression registered the shock of her husband's unprecedented outburst. "WHA--" she started to demand loudly.
"SHADDUP!" Raymond shouted again. Then more quietly, "I said shut up, and I meant shut up. Do you understand?" He asked his wife. "Don't say a word; just nod if you understand."
Glancing at Timothy, who seemed to be in his own state of shock, Dorothy couldn't and wouldn't let this defiance of her authority go unanswered. Especially in front of company, and most especially in front of Timothy.
"HOW DARE YOU! I SHOULD-"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Shouted Raymond, spittle flying out of his mouth. "JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!
The anger within him had rolled out, causing his words to become more guttural than he'd intended. Dorothy could tell Raymond was angry, maybe even furious, by the way his chest heaved with passion.
"If you can't talk normally and without calling me names, then leave and don't return, Dorothy," said Raymond without the gall of a moment ago. "Otherwise, explain yourself."
Despite her face burning with embarrassment and splotching with anger, Dorothy managed to reign in her raucousness and resort to a lower level of volume. She'd never experienced her husband's ire on such a scale, and it bothered her to the point where she felt caution was probably the best recourse.
"Well, if you'd heard what I just did from Timothy, you'd be upset too." She explained peevishly to her husband as she gave Timothy a tight little smile.
Without breaking his stare at her, thus refusing to look at Timothy, Raymond asked Dorothy, "What, pray tell, have you heard that so upset you, dear wife?" Although there was no discernible rancor, he said his words with such flatness that it couldn't help but reinforce the state of his volatile emotions.
Despite the tense atmosphere, Dorothy charged forward. "He said that you'd been seen with a blonde-haired woman."
With a frown on his brow, Raymond motioned for her to continue.
"Other people had seen you two dining together in a very friendly way."
After a moment of silence in which Dorothy seemed to relish the seeming discomfort of her husband, Raymond asked somewhat reservedly, "Okay. What else?".
Sensing her husband was on less even footing, Dorothy pounced. "That you'd been seen entering a motel room with that woman." She declared it almost triumphantly.
"So, is it true?"
Nodding his head slowly, Raymond replied resignedly, "Yes, it's all true." His eyes flickered toward Timothy for just a moment, and he saw that worthless piece of dung smirking in satisfaction.
"AHA! MOTHERFUCKER! I GOT YOU-" Dorothy started up loudly in her righteous indignation.
"GET THE FUCK OUT!" returned Raymond more loudly. Then, in a stentorian tone, she said, "I meant it when I said leave if you were going to begin shouting and cussing. So leave!"
Just then, the doorbell rang. Its cheerful chimes rang melodiously in the chilled silence. "I think that's for one of you," said Raymond in a mysterious explanation.
A look of confusion mixed with uncertainty crossed both Dorothy and Timothy's faces at Raymond's cryptic message. Then the doorbell rang again. "Well, one of you should answer it," cheerily advised Raymond. A small smile played on his lips as he spoke.
"Oh, for pity's sake..." began Dorothy in annoyance as she turned toward the foyer to open the door.
Timothy had a look of concern that broached fear as he watched Dorothy's back as she opened the door.
A short plump woman practically burst in, who looked both harried and angry, pushing past an open-mouthed Dorothy. Coming to an abrupt halt in the center of the living room, she waved a folder in front of her as she spoke directly to Raymond, "Is it true?"
Nodding sadly, Raymond gently said, "I'm afraid it is. All of it's been verified by a bona fide investigator, Mrs. Hannity. And might I add, I sincerely apologize for meeting with you this way."