As I watched my daughter stand at the altar my eyes started to get wet. I wasn't crying, it's just that all those pent up emotions were starting to come out; after eight long months it was finally over. She is my little girl and always will be, but after today, she will also be Gary's wife. The way she looks at him reminds me of the day twenty-five years ago when another couple stood at the altar and pledged their love to one another. That couple is still together, but the undying love portion of those vows has faded and now they're comfortable with one another. Comfortable, that's an open-ended word. They kiss, hold hands and even do the big nasty as it was called way back then. But if truth be known, and one of them was out of the picture, the other would be heartbroken but not devastated as would have been the case say ten years earlier. So, they're comfortable. God, I'm growing to hate that word.
Linda flew through the door almost taking it off at the hinges waving her left hand screaming at the top of her lungs that she was engaged. Then she and my wife, Jean, talked a mile a minute all the while never taking their eyes off the ring. Gary walked in, about twenty paces behind her, and shut the door behind him. He had a smile on his face but it was a controlled smile.
"You got anything to say for yourself," I asked looking at the ongoing commotion in the kitchen.
"I guess you know I asked Linda to marry me and she said yes," he said looking at me for some type of reaction.
"I thought you two would end up just living together just like everyone else these days."
"Your daughter said without a ring on her finger there would be no cohabitating so, I figured it was time to make my move."
"She sounds like her mother and let me guess, you haven't talked her into letting you slide into home base yet either, have you?"
He fidgeted and looked extremely nervous like he'd been caught by his mother playing with himself in the bathroom.
"What do you think?"
I smiled and inside I was pumping my fist and yelling out YES! I guess all those late night talks weren't in vane.
"Well Gary, the next couple of months are going to be hell on the both of us so prepare yourself. The women are going to try to drive us nuts, and my suggestion to you is to get that damn smile permanently tattooed to your face. Just remember one thing, a wedding doesn't a marriage make. After the ceremony, the reception and the honeymoon, reality is going to set in, and that's when the hard work begins. You're going to find out soon that marriage is nothing like dating, and it sure as hell is not all peaches and cream. So, after you've had your second or third big fight you're going to question yourself whether you made the right decision marrying my daughter. I've got two bits of advice, take them or leave them, but I'm going to give them to you anyway. Number one, always treat her like she's the most important thing in your life and second, never let the honeymoon end. Gary, the honeymoon only ends when you let it." He looked at me kind of strange but I knew he'd understand, not now, but in about nine months.
"Mr. Moore, I was going to ask you for Linda's hand but she told me that no one does that any more, and besides you didn't own her," he said a little sheepishly. "But I do love your daughter, and I'll do my best to keep her happy."
"Gary, there is no such thing as trying to make someone happy. If you treat her like you want to be treated, it will just happen. Now comes the hard part, we've got to go into the kitchen and face two crazy women with a smile on our face. Just nod your head, say yes sweetheart to whatever they say, and with a few beers under our belt we'll get through this night." And the two of us did.
If someone would have told me what the two of them were going to put me through I would have signed a blank check and went on an eight month fishing trip to Canada or taken a cruise around the world.
"Jean, you've got a budget of fifteen thousand dollars and that's it," I told my wife. "That should be more than enough to give Linda the wedding and honeymoon of her dreams."
"Steve, do you have any idea what things cost these days? The dress alone could cost upwards of two grand and don't get me started on the food or the guest list."
"Honey, listen to me. I won't go to the poor house over this wedding; it's not going to happen. Why don't the two of you make a tentative list of what you need and we'll all sit down when it's done." I don't think she was very happy with me right then.
I had watched my older brother put on a splash for his daughter two years ago. Hell, they arrived at the church in a white horse drawn carriage no less. I was told her handmade dress set him back over five grand, and that even though he'd set a limit of two hundred and fifty guests it had ballooned to over three hundred and seventy-five by the date of the wedding. And I know his bar tab had to have been well over four grand by the way everyone was drinking. It seems that when the booze is free people drink a lot more. Now it's rumored that the two of them are having issues. As I said, a wedding does not a marriage make.
"Holy shit," is all I said when I went over the list my wife and daughter had put together, it was two pages long. "Three grand for a damn wedding planner? What do we need a wedding planner for?" I asked.
"They make sure everything goes smoothly and that everyone shows up on time."
"If I hire a caterer I tell them what I want and what time I want them there. We sign a contract and if they fuck up I don't pay, it's as simple as that."
"Well, Connie had one and everything went great," my daughter replied.
"Sweetheart, Connie had a budget larger than they had when they made the movie Titanic," I said trying to interject a little humor into what was becoming an out of control budget discussion. "And if my idiot brother wouldn't have had his head up his ass, he wouldn't have had to borrow from his 401K to pay for the wedding, I'm not going to do that."
"Fine, I'll get married in the back yard wearing a sack cloth dress," she said sarcastically.
"Breath," I said to myself. "Relax, this is not reality, or shouldn't be."
"Look, give me a couple of days to review this extensive list. Nothing has to be done today or tomorrow so we have time. I've got a lot of connections in town and more than a few people owe me favors I'm now going to collect on." They weren't happy but I gave them no choice.
"Steve, I know it's a lot of money, but she is your only daughter," my wife said to me when we were getting ready for bed. "And she's using Connie's wedding as a guide on how she wants hers to be. I guess she doesn't want to be outdone by Connie and I can understand that."
"Dale went into debt thirty-two thousand dollars between the wedding and the honeymoon. Why don't we give then a check for fifteen and a big party and call it square. This way they'll have money for a down payment on a house, we'll have a nice party and we all will come out of it better off." The look she gave me was one of are you nuts?
"All I'm saying is just do the best you can and I know you will."
She slipped into bed, cracked open her book and started reading. I watched her for a couple of minutes before asking her if she wanted a foot rub.
"Steve, it's not a foot rub you want to give me and we both know it. It's late, I'm tired, and you've got to go to work tomorrow. Maybe we'll find time this weekend," she said giving me a peck on the lips.
What happen to the passion we once had? I remember when getting a goodnight kiss went from one to two and finally to a whole hell of a lot more. Clothes came off, fingers and tongues did what they do best until finally two exhausted people lay there smiling, holding one another until they fell asleep. Now that was my idea of a good night kiss.
"Steve, I said maybe this weekend," she said for a second time as I kind of zoned out.
"You never used to say that," I whispered to her.
"Well, back then we went to bed right after dinner and didn't have the responsibilities we have now. "Go to bed or you're going to be cranky in the morning," Jean said giving my forehead a quick kiss before going back to her book.
The next couple of months were hell on earth. I think everyone in the world hated me for what I was doing or not doing. I took half days of vacation to negotiate pricing on flowers, food and the hall. And when I started cutting people off Linda's guest list she about had a cow.
"Gary, how are you holding up?" I asked one Sunday afternoon as we sat, beers in hand, on my back deck. "Am I still the penny pinching asshole?"
"Mr. Moore," he started to say before I stopped him.
"Steve, my name is Steve. Hell, in a couple of months we're going to be family. Please, call me Steve."
"All right, Steve, Linda isn't happy about a lot of things and now I wish we would have eloped. I made the mistake of telling her not to sweat the petty stuff and she almost took my head off."
"Gary, make me the bad guy, ok? This way we can play good cop, bad cop with the two of them. You're going to be the one living with her after this all goes down not me; so like I said make me the asshole, I've got big shoulders." He laughed at that.
"Have you seen her planner and countdown calendar? Linda and Jean talk a minimum of twice a night going over every detail. She said if you wouldn't have been so cheap and gotten her a wedding planner she wouldn't have had to worry about every detail."
" I did it just for that reason. The more they've got on their minds, the faster the time is going to go and the less time they'll have to dwell on the two of us. So drink up, we're in charge of dinner tonight and it better be good if we know what's good for us."
At T-minus seventeen days we ran into our first major problem. The drummer for the band we'd hired was in a car accident and broke his arm. It was too late to find a replacement group so I called a DJ friend I went to school with and told him I needed help. Twenty-four hours later we had someone to spin tunes for us and Linda and her mother made a list of songs that they wanted to be sure he played.
"Boy, weddings sure have gotten complicated, haven't they?" I mentioned to my wife as we lay there in bed. "Remember our wedding? It was just our family, a few friends and the minister. We had the reception at my parent's house and my family prepared all the food from scratch, those were the days."
"Steve, we had fifty people; Linda is going to have a hundred and thirty- five; that's a big difference."
"Besides the two families and her two best friends, the rest is just fluff. It's basically people who have invited them to their weddings and others from both of their work places who couldn't really give a tinker's damn. The only reason they're coming is for the free booze and food, not because they are about the two of them."
