Regrets

As always, thank you to my wonderful editors, LadyCibelle and Techsan, for making my story a much better read.

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I'm a man that did most of it wrong and I'm paying for it now. I married young to my girlfriend at the time. We were both barely twenty years old but she got pregnant and we got married. Two years later we had our second child; they were two of the cutest little girls you can picture, Amber and Brittany.

I'm writing this story to let people know that men make mistakes too. Many readers will call my errors in judgment more than mistakes and they will be correct. I'm using the word mistake to try and simplify my explanation.

I am divorced now and have been for over three years. I miss my ex-wife so very much. I also miss seeing my kids more often even though I try to be a big part of their lives. They are now eight and ten and live with their mother.

Let me try to start in the beginning after we got married. I was going to college part time and working. I had to quit school to bring in more money. I was lucky and got a great job in the auto assembly plant thanks to my dad who had a little pull getting me this job.

I loved Darcy, my wife, very much. She was so young, sweet, and innocent when we met. She was petite and, in my eyes, very pretty. I guess we were too young to get married, at least I was. I took her for granted which I now know was a very bad mistake. Our sex life was good as far as I knew; I wasn't the greatest lover and worldly person at twenty. We had sex and it was good. Very rarely would she ever refuse me. Until Amber was born, we did it almost nightly. Sometimes it was quick and at other times we took our time.

After Amber's birth, our sex life slacked off quite a bit. Darcy had a part-time job at the school in the cafeteria and I worked all the hours I could get in the auto plant. We struggled like most young couples but all in all we still lived a pretty decent life. After the birth of Britt, our sex life diminished even more. We were down to once a week or so which seemed like a big drop in our sex life for two young people in love.

I began kidding with a couple of the assembly girls at the plant. It started as joking but went a little further and I would touch their tits or ass. It was all in jest but the more they let me touch them, the more I did. I was young and never thought about the consequences of my actions. A group of us that worked together went out after working late one day. I told Darcy that I was going out with the guys at work for a few beers. It was true but I never mentioned the girls that went with us. One was single and the other divorced. They were about three years older than me.

One thing lead to another and someone threw some change in the jukebox and Ellie, one of the girls, asked me to dance. I grabbed her ass and she didn't complain. It had been a few days since I did anything with Darcy and soon had a hard on. Ellie asked me to go out to the car.

"Ellie, I can't. I'm married and can't do this to Darcy."

"We don't need to fuck, Rhett. Let's just play around a little."

We went out to my car and I got in and Ellie started kissing me. She undid her jeans and I could see her underwear. She took my hand and put it on her lower belly. I couldn't help it. I was thinking with my cock as I slid my hand down into her underwear and grabbed her moist pussy. Darcy had been the only pussy I had touched like this since being a teenager and doing a little exploring. Ellie started pumping against my hand and I slid my fingers into her cunt. I couldn't help it. I was just a stupid kid. In a couple of minutes she came all over my hand. I pulled my hand out of her pants and it was soaking wet.

"Smell it, Rhett, smell my juices all over your hand."

I did bring my hand up to my nose. Ellie smelled so different than Darcy. I thought all women smelled the same, but I was wrong. I had a giant hard-on and Ellie unzipped my pants and pulled it out.

"Ellie, don't, I can't, I'm married," I said to her but at the same time I wanted to fuck her.

"Don't worry, Big Boy, I'm not fucking you," she said as she bent over and took my cock in her mouth. This was the first blow job I had ever had. Darcy always said she wasn't putting that dirty thing in her mouth.

I didn't last but a minute until I came and shot the load into Ellie's mouth. She held up a tissue and spit most of it out. There was so much that I knew she had swallowed some.

"Damn, Big Boy, that was quite a load. I kept my promise and didn't fuck you," she laughed. "If you ever want to play again, just look me up."

She got out of my car and into her own and left. I felt bad. I felt I had cheated on Darcy. I tried to convince myself that it wasn't cheating but I knew I was just kidding myself. I promised myself that if God would forgive me that I would never do it again. I think most guys have been there at one time or another.

As soon as I got home I ran into the bathroom and washed my hands. It seemed like the smell of Ellie wasn't coming off. I know it was just my brain malfunctioning. I said hi to Darcy and grabbed Amber and held her. I needed to do something to get rid of the guilt I felt. Later when Darcy and I went to bed I tried to feel her up, and make love but she told me she was too tired that night. I really was glad because I hadn't taken a shower and probably had cum on my cock still.

For the next few days, I tried to avoid Ellie. She came up to me and said, "Don't sweat it, Rhett. It was nothing. I don't expect you to divorce your wife and marry me. It was just a little playtime between friends," she said as she reached forward, and grabbed my cock in its confines. She laughed and walked away.

Time passed and things were back to normal. Darcy and I bought a house; a three bedroom ranch with a pool. We knew it would be a little tight on our budget but we wanted to own a home, or at least buy one. My parents gave me enough for a down payment and we moved in. It was in a little town about ten miles from work. The school where Darcy worked was just down the street a couple of blocks. Darcy's mom would watch the kids whenever Darcy worked so we didn't have to pay out any childcare.

The neighborhood was filled with young people all buying their first houses. That made it kind of nice because we almost all had young kids. Some neighbors we became friends with while others Darcy said she didn't trust.

Our life went on and was becoming boring. I know this happens to most everyone. The sex became mundane but Darcy was happy with our sex life. As I mentioned earlier, I probably wasn't the greatest lover and Darcy hopefully didn't have anyone to compare me to.

We broke down and bought a computer. Darcy used it for games, when she had time, and e-mailing her family and friends. I used it to go on line and find some erotic stories or some might say 'porno' to read and look at. It became somewhat addicting. I wanted to spice up our sex life but I think this was the first step in the downfall of my marriage.

I read story after story about cheating wives and cuckold husbands, which I prefer to call wimp husbands, and it made me wonder. If I caught Darcy cheating on me or found out she did in the past, how would I react? This is something that most guys must think about after reading these stories.

Fantasies versus reality, that was the question. I know I like my wife to look attractive. In doing so I know she will attract attention from the opposite sex. I guess it's how we deal with it that counts.

If I ever see a man lay a hand on my wife, I would knock him into next week. At least that's what I'd hope I'd do. I am the jealous type and even get a little pissed when she dances close with another guy at a party. On the fantasy side - and I do mean fantasy - I ask myself, "Would it be a turn-on to see her have sex with another man?" I know that in the throes of passion I have said such things.

"Come on, baby, can you feel him fucking you? Would you like two guys at once? Do you like his cock?" I've even said worse. "Ever fuck a black guy? Would you like to feel a hot black dick in your pussy? How about showing other men your pussy? Have you done it? Do you let other men squeeze those big tits? Want some other men to suck them?"

During the sex, I want her to answer, "Yes," but she always tells me, "No," that she wants no one but me. I don't understand why I say such things. Am I the only pervert in this world? Do I have a death wish for my marriage? I have no reason to ever suspect her of cheating on me. Maybe it has a lot to do with what I read or watch on television. Every show has somebody cheating or having sex. I'm surprised they have time to do any acting. It's not just the programs but the actors and actresses have real life situations almost matching their on-screen performances. I think too much of this kind of TV will fuck up a marriage.

After one of my fantasy talk episodes, Darcy asked me if I was happy with her. She was worried about us and was wondering why I would say such things. I tried to explain that it must have been some stories I had read about cheating wives.

"Rhett, Honey, I promise you with God as my witness, that I will never cheat on you."

I've learned that when two people are developing a relationship, it is imperative that you learn something about that person's make-up. I learned very early in our relationship that Darcy was a person with two very pronounced attributes that dominated her personality. She was the loving wife and mother, soft spoken, easy going woman whom everyone adored. She would cry over little things and I would always want to hold her. She was as sweet as sweet could be.

Darcy's other side was when she got mad. She was a BITCH in capital letters. No one wanted on her bad side. She could cuss with the best of them. She wasn't afraid of anyone or anything. I think she goes psycho when she gets extremely angry. One time when she was pregnant with Britt, we went out and some woman said something to her that wasn't very nice. Darcy beat the living shit out of this woman before anyone could step in and stop it. I tried to stay away from this side of Darcy.

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One day when I was working late Darcy was having a few of her lady friends come by and enjoy the pool. Some even brought their kids. I walked in the house and glanced out the back window at the pool. Damn! Most of those women looked pretty good and were dressed in two piece bathing suits. One of the gals named Alice was coming in. I backed away from the window and went to the front door like I was just coming home.

"Hi, Rhett. Just getting home?" she asked.

"Yeah, worked late. How's the swim party going?"

"Oh, the water feels wonderful. I have a slight headache and Darcy said to get a couple of aspirin out of the medicine cabinet."

"Hold on, I'll get them for you."

When I came back, Alice had run a glass of water and I handed her the aspirin.

"Thanks, Rhett," she said.

"No problem. Want me to rub your temples? It's really relaxing."

What I wanted was for Alice to sit inside for a few minutes so I could admire her body.

"Okay, but only for a minute. I have to get back out to the kids."

She was divorced with two kids and a body to beat hell. She sat in a straight backed chair and I began rubbing her temples. She closed her eyes and just kind of leaned back in the chair. I lowered my hand to her neck and kept rubbing, but now it was her neck.

"Oh, that's feels so good. Your cool hands feel great."

"Women carry a lot of tension in their neck and shoulders." I lowered my hand to her shoulders and gave her a nice rub. I could also see her chest rise and fall with her breathing.

"You keep rubbing me like that and you can massage me forever," she said softly.

Watching her breasts rise and fall was getting to me. I don't know why I did it, but I lowered my hands down her front and into her swim top gripping her soft globes in my hands. I saw the areolas around her nipple and gently squeezed each globe.

"God, that feels so good! You can massage me anytime," I heard Alice say.

I must have come out of my little sexual trance as I quickly pulled my hands out of her top. Why didn't she object to it? As I backed away, I saw Darcy coming through the door.

"Hi, Honey, just get home? What's going on?" she asked.

Alice said, "I got the aspirin and Rhett massaged my temples. I think it helped."

"Yeah, Rhett's quite a massager. He'll never be rubbing anything other than your temples with a body like that, or he'll be finding another wife," laughed Darcy.

Alice laughed along with Darcy and got up and adjusted her swimsuit. "I better head back out to my little monsters," said Alice. As she walked out she looked back at me and winked.

"Rhett, would you get the hot dogs out of the fridge? I want to grill them for the kids," asked Darcy.

Hoping I had escaped retribution, I said, "Sure, Honey. In fact go on out with your friends and I'll put the hot dogs on the grill." I leaned over and gave her a kiss and headed to the refrigerator.

It's sad that it didn't bother me more. Maybe it could have been a wake up call. Looking back I sure could have used one.

Things went on pretty normally. We made love and cuddled but I always had those damn stories in the back of my mind. Darcy and I were sitting out on the porch and watched the kids playing in the yard. We sat out often and watched a lot of the people in the neighborhood walk or jog by. We would wave or say hi to just about everyone.

There was one gal my wife didn't like. Her name was Jennifer. She walked by and I waved to her just like I did everyone else. After she waved back, then Darcy said hi to her.

"You know I don't like her. Why did you wave to her?" asked Darcy.

"We waved to everyone. Why do you hate her so much?"

"It's distrust more than hate. I hear she's a slut and she and her husband are swingers."

Her husband worked at the same factory that I did and I heard the same kind of rumors there. He was an ugly sort and a good fifteen years older than her. She was a good looking gal, so we figured that since she liked sex, he used her to get other married couples involved into swinging with them. She definitely could attract the men. What women would see in her husband, Carl, is beyond me.

It was about a week later when I made my dreaded mistake. Darcy left me a note that she would be taking the kids and her mother over to see her aunt who lived in another town. She probably wouldn't get home till late and for me to fix my own dinner.

I was sitting out on the porch drinking a beer and waving to the walkers. Jennifer was walking by herself and waved at me, and of course I waved back. She stopped and asked where Darcy was? I told her that Darcy had gone to visit her aunt.

"Oh, shoot," said Jenn. "I heard she remodeled the kitchen and I wanted to see it. Would you mind showing it to me?"

I knew I never should have done it. Here was a good looking woman whom my wife didn't like asking to come into my home. She was dressed in kind of net wrap over her breasts and her nipples were showing pressing through. She had on a pair of loose fitting jogging shorts that were four inches below her belly button. Looking at her was making my dick hard.

"Sure, I'll show you the kitchen. I'm sure Darcy wouldn't mind." Damn, why was I so weak!

I opened the door and as she walked past me she accidentally rubbed her hand against my crotch. At least, that is what I tried to convince myself of. She didn't say a word until she walked into the kitchen.

"What a beautiful kitchen. I love the way she has it decorated and tile floors, and all that cupboard space. Tell her it sure looks beautiful." She opened the fridge and asked if she could have a beer? She said she sure was hot.

What's a guy to say? I should have said get out of my house, I love my wife, but instead I said, "Sure, have a cold one."

She took the cold beer and started rubbing it against her tits. I was watching her nipples getting harder and harder. "Hmm! It feels so good. Do you like what you see?"

I was a goner at this point. I walked up to her and planted a kiss on her lips. She set the beer down and put her arms around my neck and kissed me with her mouth open. "Don't start something you're unable to finish," she told me.

I reached up and slid my hand under her skimpy top and grabbed her breast. I wasn't delicate about it. I lowered my mouth to her tit and started sucking hard on her nipple.

"Suck it, Big Boy. Suck that titty. Come on, you can suck harder than that."

Her talk was something that Darcy never did; she wouldn't talk dirty to me. It was kind of a rush. While sucking on her tit, I slid my hand down the front of her shorts. She wasn't wearing any undergarments.

"Did you find that pussy, Big Boy? Go ahead, stick a couple of fingers in. You like it, don't you. Admit it! Finger fucking another man's wife is a real turn on, isn't it? Come on, lover, answer me."

"Yes, I love it! I love fingering you," I answered.

"Are you going to finger fuck me to death or give me that big cock of yours?"

"I'm going to fuck you to death. I'm going to fuck you till you tell me you've had enough." I was too far gone now. I was going to fuck this slut whom my wife hates.

"Let's go into the bedroom. I'm not going to fuck you in the kitchen," she said.

I wasn't going to take her to my marital bed, like that would make a difference. I pushed her into my daughters' room where they both slept on twin beds pushed together. I went quickly into the bathroom and got a big towel and laid it across the bed, hopefully to catch any juices. Jenn lay on the bed and I removed her shorts. Her neatly trimmed pussy was staring me in the face. I quickly jammed two fingers into her pussy with her legs spread wide open.

"Do you like it, big boy? Come give Jenn a good fucking. Let me see that big cock of yours." She kept talking and daring me. "Bring that cock up and put it in Jenn's pussy."

I took off my shorts and underwear and she grabbed my cock. Her ass and pussy were at the edge of the bed and I was half kneeling, half standing as she rubbed the head of my cock against her sopping wet opening.

"Tell Jenn what you want, Honey."

"I want to fuck you," I replied.

"Would you like your wife to be like me and fuck other men?"

"I'm not sure, I don't know," I answered.

She kept rubbing my cock head against her pussy opening. "Are you ready to push your cock in me?"

"God, yes, I want to fuck you now."

She let go of my cock and I was buried in to the hilt. It felt so good.

"You like my pussy, don't you, Honey?"

"Yes, I love it. I love fucking you," I replied

"Now wouldn't you love to see your little wife getting fucked like this by another man?"

I was in fantasy land when I answered. "Yes, I would, I would love to see Darcy taking another cock while I'm fucking you."

"Would you like me to get my husband to come over and give her a hard fucking?"

"Yes, anybody, she needs a good hard fucking."

"Say it then. Tell me you want to see Carl fucking her."

"Yes, I want to see her fucking Carl and any other man. I want her to become a slut like you."

After saying that, I shot the biggest load of my life. Jenn was lying there taking it all and asking for more. Thank God, I had the towel under her ass as the juices came out of her hole. I pulled my still somewhat stiff cock out of her. She got up and had me sit on the bed as she kneeled and took my cum-soaked cock into her mouth. She was sucking our joint juices off my cock. It wasn't long before I shot kind of a mini-load.

Jenn got up and, as I stood up, she grabbed the towel and wiped what leaking juices she could off her pussy. She put her shorts back on and fixed her top.