It didn't start with words. Or touch. It started with her waiting.
I came into the room, and she was already there--kneeling beside a shallow copper basin. Steam curled up in lazy spirals. Candles flickered low, warm pools of light casting soft shadows along the walls.
The music playing was nothing I recognized--gentle, simple piano, the kind of sound that made you feel like you were remembering something you'd forgotten.
She didn't look up right away. Just dipped a cloth into the water, wrung it slowly. Her hands were sure. Calm. Not trying to be anything. Just present.
I hesitated in the doorway. The heat in the room felt different than usual. Not sexual. Not anticipatory. Just... warm. Forgiving. Sacred.
She lifted her head and met my eyes.
"Sit," she said softly. No command in it. Only invitation.
I moved to the cushion she'd laid out, stripped of expectation, not knowing what was about to happen. I sat. My hands rested on my thighs. My heart thudded--slow and steady, not with fear. With something else.
She knelt at my feet. Touched my ankle. Looked up again.
"May I?"
I nodded. Couldn't speak. Something had already lodged in my throat.
She took my foot gently in both hands and dipped it into the basin.
It was warm. Not hot. Just enough to ease into. The cloth moved over my skin--deliberate, unhurried. She wasn't trying to arouse. She was trying to honor.
"This," she said quietly, "is for every time you stayed when I made it hard."
She moved to the other foot.
"This is for the ache you carried for me when I couldn't carry myself."
My chest stung.
She finished drying me. Set the basin aside. Her fingers pressed into my calves, slow and firm, massaging up to my thighs.
She asked permission before every shift.
My pants gone. My shirt lifted.
Oils warmed between her palms.
Nothing fast. Nothing greedy.
I wanted to stop her--not because I didn't want it, but because it was too much. Too much kindness. Too much care. My body was used to being wanted for what it could do, not what it had endured. I didn't know how to be held like this.