"What an idiot." I said to them as they carried my new husband down the hotel corridor. "This is your fault as well!" I berated Jason (his eldest brother) and the best man, Ben. I kept my voice low as we passed the rooms of other sleeping guests, but I was fighting my anger to do so.
"It wasn't us!" Ben quietly protested. "We were trying to slow him down!"
"I even got him a glass of water." Jason grumbled. "Not that he drank it."
I knew it wasn't totally their fault. They had been encouraging him at the start, but shortly after the first dance he was already starting to slur a little, and wouldn't listen to me asking him to slow down. His dad had a stern word, which made him stop for a bit. Then later in the evening a work 'friend' thought it would be fun to do shots. He was barely standing after that.
A couple of embarrassing moments later, and here we were. Carrying my barely conscious groom to our wedding suite.
I opened the door for them. "Looks like Henry's the only one getting carried over the threshold tonight!" Ben joked. I knew he was trying to lighten the mood but I was almost tremoring with fury. Jason grimaced and I glared. Ben looked down and muttered "Sorry."
They squeezed crabwise through the door, and awkwardly dropped him on the bed.
Together we got off his jacket, shoes, and trousers. Then got the covers over him. That would have to do for now. I ignored at least one glance from Ben at my cleavage as we did it. The front of the dress wasn't really designed for bending over and struggling with an unconscious husband's limp body.
"Ugh the dress!" I sighed in realisation. They both looked at me, puzzled. I put my face in my hands. "I'm going to need your help." I said through my fingers. "My dress has a really stupid design. I can't undo it on my own."
The embarrassment was the final straw. The anger, the frustration, the shame built inside me, and I started sobbing. Jason gently put his arms around me. I buried my face in his jacket. "It was all planned out. And he just couldn't... He just decided to... He's such a stupid prick!" I blubbed, barely making sense to even myself. I was ruining my make-up. And probably his jacket. I pulled myself away and apologised.
"There's no need to apologise!" he replied. "Henry's the one who needs to do the apologising." He smiled at me reassuringly.
"We can beat him up if you like?" Ben offered, grinning. "You know, just a bit of roughing up, no black eyes for the honeymoon." That made me laugh a little, as I wiped my tears and blew my nose. I knew he was messing around but a savage part of me secretly wanted it to happen.
They both smiled at me warmly, which went a long way to helping me feel better. "What can we do to help?" asked his brother.
I rallied and explained: "Right, so. The dress is designed really stupidly. I wouldn't have chosen it if it wasn't so damn nice." I could see them looking me up and down, clearly appreciating it. "There's a zip on the back, but it's under the ribbons. Can you see?"
I turned around, and felt Jason pull a ribbon aside. "Oh no." He said. "That's a pain."
"Right? You'll need to loosen the ribbons enough to get at the zip, or maybe unlace the whole thing. I don't know." I shrugged.
"OK, let's see how we get on." Jason replied with a practical tone. I felt him pull the bow loose at the bottom, and begin to loosen the lacing. A firm pull caught me off balance, and I staggered slightly. "Sorry!" he said.
"I can help!" Ben said, facing me and steadying my arms. I held his arms. Noticing the firm muscles underneath the smooth fabric of the jacket.
Jason continued loosening the lacing. Ben's strong grip kept me in place despite Jason's pulling. "Goodness, there's a lot of this." he sighed behind me. I smiled a wry smile at Ben, who was looking down at me. Perhaps with fondness? I looked away and tried not to think about that. Henry had insisted we "Save ourselves" for a few months before the wedding night, as some kind of stupid tradition or Internet thing he'd seen. Having the full attention of these two quite attractive men was making me flush a little. It felt like the start of a crush.
Ben spoke, bringing me back from my thoughts. "What will I say tomorrow? What did you do Ben? Did you find a nice bridesmaid? No, I'm afraid the groom got smashed so I spent my evening helping to strip the bride." He grinned mischievously as I giggled. I heard Jason behind me laugh and then we were all giggling like naughty children.
I wiped the tears from my eyes again. This time from laughter. It felt like such a relief. Suddenly I heard Henry groan and roll over. We all froze in place as he resettled.
Ben quietly whispered: "Um, so, I'm not saying Henry is an angry, unreasonable drunk. But... Well, Henry can be an angry, unreasonable drunk." He half-smiled wryly. "If he wakes up and sees us like this, it might not end well, no matter how innocent it is."
"Hm." Jason replied thoughtfully behind him.
Despite being a 'suite', it was just a single room and a bathroom. We could hide in the bathroom, but the thought of being caught in there wasn't much better. Possibly worse.
"I'm just next door." said Jason. "We could nip in there, sort you out, and put you back with Henry none the wiser." he offered.
The thought of going to another room with the two men made my heart flutter a bit. Even though I knew I was safe with them. Still, it was better than the alternative.
"OK" I said, a little apprehensive. I grabbed my dressing gown on the way out. I wasn't wearing a lot under the dress, and might need a little more dignity when it was loose. The dressing gown was thin and silky, but it would be enough to keep me decent.
Json led the way into his room. As we just got in through the door, he suddenly stopped with an "Oh! I thought you were off with that lovely young lady in the green dress?" I realised his room was a twin, and he was sharing it with Henry's younger brother, Alex.
From further inside I heard Alex reply "Nah, later on her boyfriend turned up. All neck and no humour. Everything went quiet after Henry- Who's this??" he interrupted himself. "Jason, you dog!" he said, frowning and staring at us, astonished.
"It's nothing like that, you filthy-minded man." said Jason in an authoritative tone. "Her dress is a pain in the neck to undo, and Henry's in no fit state to help." I could see Alex's expression soften to confusion as Jason spoke.
"Want to help us strip the bride?" Ben added unhelpfully from behind. Jason put his face in his hands and Alex laughed.
"I don't need stripping!" I angrily replied, slapping his arm. "And close that door!" I said, suddenly aware of how this might seem to anyone passing.
Ben closed the door. I followed Jason into the room. There was a double and a single bed. From the looks of Alex's jacket and tie strewn on the single, it seemed he had drawn the short straw.
There was just enough room for us to stand at the foot of the bed, beside the desk and chair.
"Right, let's get this dress... sorted." said Jason, picking his words carefully.
