Pta 1

"Dad," said my daughter Sasha. "You have to come to the school tomorrow to meet my new teacher."

"What happened to your old teacher, Mrs. Greendale?" I asked.

"Her husband had a heart attack so she has to stay home and take care of him for the rest of the school year," she answered.

I liked Mrs. Greendale. She was an old school teacher. None of that new-fangled, blame it on the parents shit for her. I never had to go up to the school unless Sasha did something extra stupid.

"Can't your mom meet her at the PTA meetings?" I asked.

"I'd rather have you meet her, Mom has been acting so strange lately," said Sasha.

"Alright Angel, I'll try to get over there, but I'm not making any promises," I said. "Meetings with teachers clearly fall under your Mom's jurisdiction."

I'm Lucas McCain. I'm an account rep for Devlin International. I'm thirty five going on fifty. I'm about 5'10" with brown hair and brown eyes. I'm in pretty good shape from daily runs, and I love my wife and daughter more than anything I can think of. My wife Dana was one of the movers and shakers on the school's PTA or whatever modern name they had for it.

Dana was short, about 5' even. At least she swore she was. Every time I measured her she came out at 4' 11". She was curvy with a big butt and big boobs that I loved to motorboat. We'd been married for fourteen years, and had been spoiling our daughter for the past 10 of those. We had only 8 more years, until Sasha was off to college. Then Dana and I could walk around the house naked as the day we were born, and spend our time screwing on all of the furniture.

Sasha did have one thing right though. Dana had been acting strangely again. Last time she acted like this it was because she was pregnant with Sasha. She was trying to figure out everything we'd have to have and do to make the pregnancy easier before she told me. I guess I was practically to blame for that because I'd never shown any interest in having kids. But from the first day my little angel came into the world. From just after I personally cut her umbilical cord and smacked her on her butt, she's been her daddy's girl.

Dana came in a little bit later and headed straight for the shower. She was doing that a lot lately, maybe once or twice a week. I didn't think anything of it though because women are always taking way more baths and showers than any guy ever does. When I look back on it now I guess I was stupid, or at least clueless. But let's face it most of us are. We get married because we love the other person so much that we want them to be a permanent part of our lives.

Part of that love is the fact that we trust them, in several ways. We trust them not to hurt us. We trust them to be faithful to us. We just never expect the person we pledge to spend the rest of our lives with, to stab us in the fucking back. Let's face it love makes us clueless. If you're constantly looking over your shoulder and watching for the apple of your eye to cheat on you, then your relationship sucks. Kick that bitch to the curb right now. Trust me if you can't let your guard down around her, you don't really love her. I'm sure a lot of you guys out there are thinking "If my old lady was running around on me, I'd know it." Well double O seven when it happens to you, trust me you'll be as clueless as I was, but probably not as lucky.

Anyway, the next day I showed up at Sasha's school just in time to pick her up. The only thing I needed to pickup after I got there was my jaw off the floor. The woman in front of Sasha's class was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. She wore jeans and a nice blouse. When I came into the room she was turned around with her back towards me. She had an inverted heart shaped ass. When she turned to face me I was mesmerized by her smile and the volume of tawny hair cascading over her shoulders. Her boobs were nowhere near as big as my wife's but who cared.

I sat there staring at her for a long time before I realized that she was talking to me. They just didn't make teachers like this when I was growing up. She was tall, at least for a woman. She had to be about 5'8' and much slimmer than Dana. Not that I was comparing them or anything, but she was stunning. Yep that's a good word for it, stunning.

"Daddy," snapped Sasha. "Ms. Marshall is talking to you."

"Oh, sorry," I stuttered. "I just had a brain fart. I'm uhm...Sasha's Dad. Mr. McCain, uhm. Lucas McCain. But you can just call me Luke." I extended my hand and she shook it warmly, and treated me to another one of those smiles. God Damn it, she should be selling those smiles.

"Sorry to call you here on such short notice," she said, smiling again. "I'm new here but the school takes parental involvement very seriously. Sasha is probably one of my brightest and friendliest students. And she's also one of the most helpful." She had a soft Southern accent that seemed to stretch each syllable into more than one. I could probably listen to this woman talk for ever.

I smiled at Sasha. I was proud of her. And she smiled back holding out her hand. I gave her five slapping her hand crisply. She looked at me as if I was retarded. "Dad, when someone holds out their hand, you're supposed to put money in it," she whined.

"Anyway continued Ms. Marshall, neither, you or your wife have participated in any of our projects or committees, this year."

"Uhm Ms. Marshall..."

"Please, call me Gianna," she said.

"Doesn't the PTA count?" I asked.

"Yes it certainly does," she smiled. "Are you a member of the PTA?"

"Well no," I said. "But my wife is; she attends every one of those meetings on Wednesday nights. She's never missed one."

Ms. Marshall's face changed in front of me. "Maybe I'm wrong," she said. "But the PTA meets on Tuesdays and only the third Tuesday of every month."

My face fell too. I had to find out what was going on with Dana.

"Why don't you pick out one of our committees or clubs to participate in anyway," she said. "And if your wife does turn out to be in the PTA than you're covered." she said all of that with plenty of sympathy in her voice. It was as if she knew what I was going through.

I looked over the list of activities and finally settled on Track. "I think I could help with this," I said. "I'm not an expert, but I run every day and I've done a few Marathons."

"That would be perfect," she said. "They meet on Tuesday and Thursday, at 5."

Sasha and I stopped off at McDonald's on our way home. It wasn't very nutritious as dinners go, but she likes it and that way I wouldn't have to cook. I knew that there was no chance of Dana beating us home, even though she got off work before I did.

Some guys like to sit in their favorite chairs while they think, and other like to go for a long walk. My favorite thinking activity was washing my red Mustang GT. As I rinsed off the car I started putting my thoughts about Dana's behavior in order. I knew that the PTA meetings were only once a month not every week. Dana had joined the PTA almost two months ago. That means that whatever she was doing, she'd done about six or eight times.

As I soaped the car up, I called a friend of mine. "Hey, Hop," I said into the phone.

"Hey Luke, how's it going?" he asked.

"Shitty," laughed. "Remember when you thought that Tia was cheating on you? What was the name of the agency you used?"

"Oh God don't remind me, of that," he laughed. "All I did was made some lawyers and some P.I.s richer."

"Well I told you that she wasn't cheating on you," I said. "She was taking some classes at the community college, because she thought that you were embarrassed by her accent and limited English."

"Yeah, I remember," he laughed. "Anyway the agency was called Ponderosa Investigations. They're in the book, and they're good."

"Thanks Hop," I said hanging up. I'd known Hop Sing since we were kids playing baseball.

I called information and got the number for Ponderosa Investigations. I called them and was told they'd have someone over in a few minutes, since they were located very close to my house.

I was polishing my Chrome Helo Tease rims when the car pulled up. I saw the man who got out, pull out a pair of sunglasses and put them on. "Your Chrome is so bright, I thought I'd go blind," he said. "My Dad had a 1970 302 Boss that he babied like you do this car."

I nodded, I loved old school Mustangs too. "I'm Lucas McCain," I said, offering my hand.

"My friends call me Luke," I stood up and looked at him.

"Joseph Cartwright," he replied. His handshake was firm and I trusted him. He didn't look like the usual tall chiseled P.I. In fact he was only about 5' 4" tall. "My friends call me little Joe."

I could see where the name had come from. "Why don't we go into the house and talk," I said. On our way into the house I explained my suspicions to him. He looked the house over and talked to me about the packages they had available. He ended up placing a recording device on the phone. I gave him her cell phone number, and since I paid the bill, he told me they'd be able to possibly monitor those calls as well. Then he put several tiny cameras around the house. I had the option of being able to view the feeds from the cameras on my own, or have them deliver a weekly or daily DVD. I opted for the cheaper option of the weekly DVD.

"How expensive is this going to be?" I asked him.

"How much would you be willing to pay for peace of mind," he replied. That told me that this was going to be pretty fucking pricey.

"In the end, one way or another, you'll think it was worth it," he smiled.

"Okay, explain that one to me," I said.

"Well if she's not cheating, you'll be able to let all of those nagging suspicions go," he said. "You'll be able to trust her again and work on making your marriage stronger. All of the stress that this is putting on you will be over, so you'll be able to relax." He breathed out letting it all go. I saw his point.

"On the other hand if she is cheating, not only will you know it. You'll have all of the evidence you need to confront her, or to even divorce her if necessary," he said. "That way no one will be able to make a fool out of you with some sleazy affair that lasted for years. You'll be able to move on with your life, one way or another."

"We'll be in touch," he said as he drove away.

I went back to polishing my car. About a half hour after he left, Dana got home. She was cheerful, and came over to sit and watch me work. That was new.

"Dana, I don't like to have anyone look over my shoulder while I work," I said. "You're not doing anything bad it's me. It just gets on my nerves."

"Okay honey, I'll see you when you come in," she said.

After I'd come in from washing the car, Dana sat down beside me as I watched TV. She was being awfully God Damned friendly all of a sudden. I got up and went to take a shower.

When I got out of the shower, she was still there. I sat in the chair instead of on the sofa. "I'm going to bed," she said. "Coming?"

"I'll be in soon, I just want to watch the news," I said. I pretended to fall asleep on the sofa. When she came in supposedly to awaken me so I could go to bed, I just rolled over, as if I was deeply asleep.

The next morning I was up earlier than usual. I got ready for work and grabbed a cup of coffee. Dana and Sasha were just stumbling into the kitchen as I left. I kissed my daughter good bye, while Dana looked in the fridge. By the time she realized that I was leaving, the door had closed.

She called me at work later that morning. "Hey you left without saying goodbye to me this morning," she said. "What did I do?"

"What do you mean Dana?" I asked.

"We've been married for 14 years and together for 16. Unless we're angry at each other, you kiss me goodbye every morning, and tell me you love me. Sometimes you do it just to break the ice when we're angry at each other. I know it sounds stupid to you, but it kind of helps me start my day off. When I leave the house every morning it's good to know that someone loves me. It makes me feel special."

"I'm sorry Dana, I'll try to remember that," I said.

"What happened to you last night?" she asked.

"What do you mean now Dana?" I asked again.

"Well, I was horny," she said.

I just let it go. I was smart enough not to say the first thing that popped into my mind. If I'd gone ahead and said, "I'm sure whomever you're fucking will appreciate that." It would have only let her know that I was on to her. Since I didn't have proof yet, I saw no reason to stir up what might not have been a problem. I was taking Hop Sing's lesson to heart."

"Oh, I wanted to remind you, I have..." she began.

"I know you have your PTA meeting tonight, Dana," I said coldly. "I'll talk to you later, I AM, at work." I hung up the phone. Fuck Hop Sing's lesson, I thought. There's no way I'll stand by and let this go on. As soon as I have proof, I want to be able to move quickly. I called Hop again.

"Hey Hop, who was the lawyer that your aunt used for her divorce?" I asked.

"I don't remember," he said. "I can give you the number of the guy I was going to use."

"Hell no," I snapped. "He was too God Damned friendly. I remember he kept talking about all of that sitting down and talking it over, bullshit. He talked about being reasonable, and sharing. All of that shit about making joint decisions and being mature just rubs me the wrong fucking way. I want that lawyer that your Aunt had that took your uncle to the cleaners."

"Okay, calm down Luke. I'll call her right now and get the number for you. Are you even sure that anything is going on though?" he asked.

"I'd rather have her, and not need her, than need her, and not have her," I said.

"Okay, I'll call you right back," he said hanging up.

For the next few moments I actually did some work. I processed orders for a couple of clients and arranged shipping for the products they needed that had to be shipped overseas.

When the phone rang, I picked it up on the first ring.

"Her name is Ann Wilson," said Hop. "She works for the Heart agency. From what I've heard she's the meanest divorce lawyer in the state. They call her Barracuda. Are you sure you want to..."

"Thanks Hop," I said. Then I hung up the phone. I called directory assistance and got the listing for the Heart Agency. I asked the person who answered if I could speak to Ann Wilson. The Phone started ringing again, as my call was transferred.

"Hwhaat d'ya want now?" The voice on the phone was so loud and so angry, that I was afraid. I started to hang up immediately. There was so much rage and frustration coming off of that single question, that I wondered what could cause a person like that to work for the public.

"Uhm, I'm looking for Ann Wilson," I said politely.

"Sorry, this is she," said an almost melodious female voice. "Sorry about that, I thought you were my ex husband. He's been calling me early in the morning lately just to aggravate me."

I had found my lawyer. I was sure of it for two reasons. First, from the sound of her voice I was sure this woman's balls scraped the ground when she walked. I knew she'd take no fucking prisoners, and that was what I wanted. Second, she was divorced, so I'm sure she can understand the rage and the pain, a rough break-up can cause.

"I'd like you to represent me in my divorce," I said.

"Sorry, I don't think so," she said. "Lately, because of my reputation, I've been getting a lot of calls from men, who want me to represent them, so their wives don't hire me. In my opinion if you cheated on her, you deserve what's coming to you. If you guys would just once think about something with the brain in your head instead of the one in your dick, the world would be a better place. "

"Can you get down off of your soap box long enough for me to explain things to you?" I asked sharply. "In the first place, I've never cheated on my wife in the entire time that we've been together. She's the one who's cheating on me. And she's not only cheating on me, but on our beautiful little daughter. I've been feeling like a single Dad for a couple of months and I finally found out why. I don't have any evidence yet, but I have a P.I. firm working on that. I want to move quickly so this can all be handled over the summer, to mitigate the problems for my daughter."

"I'm really sorry," she said. "Her whole demeanor had changed." We set up an appointment for later that day, to discuss the particulars and hung up.

For the rest of the work day, I really tried to concentrate on work but I was distracted. I kept trying to figure out what went wrong. I spent a few seconds wringing my hands and thinking about where I'd failed her. Then I sobered up and started trying to figure out just how stupid she had to be to ever cheat on me.

Just before 3 p.m. My phone rang. I answered it.

A soft and sultry voice, with just a hint of a southern accent instantly brought back memories. "I hope that it's okay to call you." she said. "I just wanted to remind you that our first little get together is tomorrow afternoon." I was lost in that voice all over again.

"Okay," I said. "Go ahead and remind me." That brought laughter from her. Even her laugh was sweet and funny.

"The kids will get there at about 5," she said. "We should be there a little bit earlier. Wear something you can run in. Tomorrow, we'll probably just do a slow easy group run. Bye."

All of my thoughts about Dana were gone. Somehow when Gianna, said, "Bye," the word meant so much more than just good bye. There was a hint of playfulness, and even a bit of "I don't really want to stop talking to you in it." It also made me wonder if she didn't just mean "Bye, for now." I was sure I was just imagining it though.

I picked Sasha up from school and we went home. We played Little Big Planet together on our Playstation 3, for a couple of hours. I grilled steaks for us and made a small salad. Then after dinner, Sasha went to her room for homework and "boy," talk with one of her friends. I went to the computer to look for new things to do to My Mustang on some of my favorite after-market parts websites. After convincing myself that my car really needed a chin spoiler, I went back to the PS3 and started watching the Blue Ray disc of Ironman 2.

I had the volume up so loud that I didn't hear Dana when she came in. She wrapped her arms around me and tried to kiss me. I quickly stood up as if she had startled me, moving away from her in the process.

"It serves you right," she laughed. "You know you shouldn't have the surround sound on that loud. How is Sasha supposed to sleep?"

"Sorry," I said, turning back towards the television.

"Well wait a minute," she said. "What smells so good? Did you grill something?"

"Just steaks for me and Sasha," I answered. "We didn't think you'd want to eat when you got in. Your usual pattern is to immediately take a shower and rest after your uhm meetings."

She had trouble meeting my eyes, and she just nodded, and went into the bedroom. I couldn't tell if I'd given anything up, or if she was just feeling guilty. And I didn't really care which one it was, I just wanted this over with.

I thought about all of the things, financial and otherwise that Ann Wilson wanted me to provide by our next meeting in order to quickly facilitate the divorce.

I needed Income and tax statements from both of us and a list of assets and their value. She also had me list all of our responsibilities towards Sasha, and who handled them. With our state being a community property state, it was a foregone conclusion that any property settlement would probably be 50/50. I liked the idea of us just walking away from each other, she kept hers and I kept mine. Since I made more money, I was hoping that a judge would rule that alimony balanced out against child support. I'd keep my daughter, with Dana getting liberal visitation. She wouldn't have to pay child support and I wouldn't have to pay alimony. Since the house we live in belongs to my parents, there was no way she'd get it. We would have to split the furniture and everything else though.