Michael and Kathleen returned to the couch three days after their initial appointment with their therapist, Mary. It was with her help that they expected to prepare for the changes that loomed in their immediate future; just ten days until surgery.
Mary sat down in her chair just across from the couch. "So good to see you both. I hope you experienced some comfort with the imaging exercise I introduced to you."
Kathleen's eyes were a bit shy and her mood hesitant. Michael was also reserved, but spoke up. "We worked together to do what you suggested. But..." Mary allowed the awkward silence to hang in the air. Michael continued, "...but we did have sex."
Mary offered an affirming smile. "That's okay. You did nothing wrong. But you must remember that we are trying to prepare you and equip you for the weeks and months ahead when you will not be able to have intercourse." Michael and Kathleen both nodded, feeling relieved that they had gotten that fact out of the way.
"Michael, are you comfortable with moving ahead today towards the next level of this imaging experience?"
"I think so."
"What about you, Kathleen. You both need to be comfortable with this."
"Of course. I am committed to anything that helps Michael."
"Well Kathleen," Mary countered, "What we are doing is really about providing help and aid to both of you. This is going to effect you just as much as him in many ways."
Michael held Kathleen's hand and stroked it softly and then spoke for them both, "Yes Mary, we are both ready to move forward." Kathleen nodded at Mary and then smiled warmly at Michael.
"Okay then. As you know, there are drugs that some prescribe which we believe are not in your long-term best interests. Some of the side effects are not to be trivialized. We believe that a holistic approach is superior, albeit a bit more complicated."
"Complicated?" Mary echoed. "What do you mean?"
"Drugs are simple. Take them on schedule and as needed. Simple. But to commit yourselves to a more holistic therapy requires more than just a supplement. It requires full engagement and embracing one another's deeper needs. Drugs are taken on a regular schedule in predetermined dosages. But this holistic approach is more responsive to your experiences within the context of the moment and according to the need of the moment."
Michael smiled as Kathleen squeezed his hand and offered assurance for both Michael and Mary. "Well we definitely want what is best for him, even if it takes more effort than just popping pills."
"Good then. Let us press forward. First, Michael I want you to lay back like last time. Kathleen, help him lay his legs across you so that you both are comfortable." As Michael and Kathleen repositioned themselves on the couch, Mary scooted her chair so that she sat more at Kathleen's side.
"Now, today you will need to be able to suspend judgment. You will need to measure your words, my words, your thoughts, your actions by the single priority of sharing this experience. You cannot allow your insecurities to inhibit you. You may need to set aside your moral compass in support of your single priority of sharing this experience. Letting go of the things that have served as boundaries will help you prepare for the times ahead when you will need to discover new pathways to sexual intimacy."
Mary paused, gauging Michael and Kathleen's response. "Are you ready?"
"Um hmm," Michael murmured as Kathleen nodded yes.
"Good. Today we will build upon your experience. We will explore how you can share together in the process of fantasies that both challenge and arouse you. Both of you take a deep cleansing breath now with your eyes closed." Mary waited.
"Now, both of you, with your eyes closed, return to that place where Michael is seated in front of his computer. See how his hand manipulates the mouse, clicking his way towards that password protected file. Those photos. First he clicks on that sexy photo of you Kathleen, in that special outfit he gave you. He lingers. Look at his eyes... how they move over your body."
Mary paused and leaned in close to whisper in Kathleen's ear, "Don't be alarmed by what you see next happen." She then took Mary's hand and gently guided it towards Michael's thigh.
"See the mouse click again. Next photo. More erotic and seductive. Another click. A different photo. A different person. Look. Your mind is musing on that image. Both of you."
Mary paused, gauging the moment. Sensing Michael and Kathleen's acceptance, she migrated forward. "Who is that? Don't say a word. Don't say anything aloud. Let your own minds make up your mind. Allow your mind to sharpen the blurred edges of that photo. It is tucked away in that file. Password protected. It is more than erotic ... it is forbidden exposure."