Pogo Sisters

Author's note:

For the record, I detest rape. There's a special place in hell for people that would commit such an act. No one should have to go through that. I've known a few people in the past that have been victims and I'm sure there are more than a few others that are victims as well but I don't know about it, maybe no one does.

Regardless, I don't know anything about the processes people need to go through in order to deal with such a horrible experience. Just as with all tragedies in life, I'm sure the way to make it through it's not the same for everyone so what follows here is purely a work of fiction; one woman's tale of her own path to recovery. I'm sure there will be plenty who say I have no idea what I'm talking about and it would never happen this way. You're probably right, that's why it's called fiction. Just try not to hate me too badly if I really got it all wrong. I just hope everyone gets whatever help they need to overcome the obstacles that come up in their lives.

I'm still writing this so it is turning out to be a long one and will therefore be released in chapters; probably 4, maybe 5, of them. And you shouldn't have to wait more than a day or two between chapters. If you don't think that this journey is for you, no hard feelings and maybe you'll visit me for a different tale down the road.

There's just a little bit of sex in this first chapter, towards the end. The rest is mostly set up and background. The next chapters will be where the action really is.

Thanks,

GolfingSamurai07

Jo Ann had eaten lunch with her best friend thousands upon thousands of times before. Not as much over the past year, but still quite often. She shouldn't have been nervous, but she was. She knew she could say anything to Sarah and not be judged for it, but she still had a feeling that this was a bad idea.

Dessert had just been brought to the table when Jo Ann blurted out the question that had been on her mind.

Sarah blinked a few times and just sat with her mouth hanging open; staring at Jo Ann like she had two heads.

"Jo, did you seriously just ask me if I'd let you fuck my husband?" Sarah managed to say once her mind cleared and she was able to form words again.

"Do you love me, Sarah?"

"Of course I do, you dumb bitch. You know I do." Sarah replied. "Jesus Christ, you know I'd do anything for you. But that's going a bit far, don't you think?"

"I'm sorry, Sarah. I didn't mean to drop that on you quite so bluntly but I've been thinking about this for quite a while now. I'm sure you're in a bit of shock but, please, give me a few minutes to make my case and explain." Jo Ann paused and then suddenly couldn't look Sarah in the eyes. She fought back a couple of tears as she whispered, "There are a couple of things that I've never told you but you need to know them now."

Sarah had to admit that she had begun to be a little intrigued at Jo's request, but after seeing those first few tears form, concern for her best friend quickly overrode her curiosity. This kind of behavior wasn't normal for Jo. She'd always been confident, bubbly, and a force ready to take on the world; it was a lot of what Sarah loved about her. But now, she looked small, scared, and defeated. Sure, Jo Ann had her ups and downs just like everyone else but Sarah had only seen her in this bad of shape twice before in the last 15 years.

The first time was when Jo Ann's mother died. It was shortly after they had graduated college together. Jo's father had been out of the picture for a long time so she had always been close to her mother. Lorraine was a good woman; a source of constant support and a solid sounding board for Jo as she was growing up. Losing her mother devastated Jo Ann. Sarah was there for whatever her friend needed. Jo's mom had quickly become like a second mom to Sarah in the few years she had known her so she felt a lot of the same things that Jo Ann was feeling.

The second time was the breakup with David. Despite being best friends, Sarah felt like she never got the whole story from Jo Ann. She was in such bad shape over it that Jo actually came to live with Sarah and Randy for a couple months after it happened.

Now, here her friend was again showing that same vulnerability that was so uncharacteristic for her. "Let's have them wrap these desserts up and then we can go somewhere. This sounds more like a private kind of talk. You want to go to my place or would you feel more comfortable at your place?"

"My place, definitely, my place. I've got a bottle of our favorite wine, which I'm starting to feel like I'm going to need." Jo was relieved. Sarah had responded just like she knew she would. She wasn't trying to manipulate Sarah; she just knew that Sarah would take care of her like she always did.

Sarah made a couple of phone calls as she followed Jo Ann to her condo. She called work and mentioned a family emergency so she would be taking the rest of the day off. Then she called Randy to let him know there was some type of issue with Jo Ann. It was something big and she felt there was a very good chance she wouldn't be home for dinner. Nothing life threatening or anything like that, but Jo needed her right now. Randy understood completely. He knew very well going into his marriage with Sarah that Jo Ann was part of the package. The both of them would do anything for Jo; she was considered part of the family and as far as Randy was concerned, you do what you can to help family.

Jo shoved their desserts into the fridge and poured two glasses of wine. She and Sarah tucked their legs up under themselves as they sat on opposite ends of the couch. They were turned toward each to help facilitate conversation. The moves were effortless and well-practiced; they'd done it countless times before.

"Okay, tell me what's going on. You know there's nothing you can't say to me." Sarah finally said. They'd been sitting on the couch in silence for a few minutes while Jo was staring at the floor.

"Just give me one more minute." Jo Ann stood and ran to the bathroom. She returned just a couple of seconds later with a box of Kleenex. "Hoping we wouldn't need these but I know there's no way I'll get through this without them. It all goes back to why I left David."

'Oh, shit. This is more serious than I thought.' Was the thought running inside Sarah's head as she reached over and grabbed Jo's hand. "Jo, just remember that I love you. Take all the time you need to get it out. No judgment, either. You know that."

Jo drew a deep breath and released it. She steeled herself and began to tell Sarah the real version of what happened with David.

"I know David wasn't anywhere near your favorite of my past boyfriends. You have never actually cared for any of them."

Sarah started to interject but Jo Ann shut her down. "Don't deny it, Sarah. You've never really liked any of them. I don't blame you for it; in fact, I should have been listening to your advice about them for years. Apparently, I have really, really shitty taste in men. It turns out David was the worst of them all.

But I thought I loved him and he was 'the one', you know?" Jo Ann paused and took a big gulp of her wine.

"God, I really should have listened to you. I told you that David's drinking had gotten worse and he had started doing drugs but I never told you how bad it got. He came home one night about a week before I left him, high on something. I never did find out what he was on. It wasn't the first time he came home messed up; it was happening more and more often, but this time, he wasn't alone. He had brought friends along; two guys I'd never seen before."

Another gulp of wine finished her glass so she got up for a refill. She paced nervously for a moment or two. She sat back down on the couch and finally said the words: "They raped me, Sarah." It had been almost a year now and she hadn't been able to admit that to anyone outside of therapy.

Immediately, Sarah was across the couch, taking Jo Ann into her arms as she broke down into uncontrollable sobs. Jo Ann felt some relief at finally being able to tell her best friend; Sarah just felt powerless to help her. She didn't know what to tell her friend so she just held her until the crying started to subside.

"Hey, hey, listen to me. That wasn't your fault. None of that is your fault!" Sarah finally told her.

The tears had stopped finally and Jo Ann had regained enough composure to continue talking to her friend. "I know it wasn't my fault. My therapist and I have worked on that for almost a year now and I've come to terms with what happened to me."

"You've been in therapy for a year? How did I not know this? Why didn't you tell me what happened to you? Aren't I supposed to your best friend?" Sarah realized that she as almost shouting when Jo started crying again.

"Shit! I'm sorry, Jo. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to shout or accuse you of anything. I am just shocked by the whole thing." Sarah was crying by this point as well.

"No, Sarah, you didn't do anything wrong. This is all on me. I've handled this all wrong from the start. This is why coming clean to you now is so hard for me. You've always been there for me; always helped me when I needed it like when Mom died. But when I truly needed you the most, I didn't come to you. I hid inside myself."

"Why? Why wouldn't you come to me?" Sarah was trying to keep an accusatory tone from her voice and hoped she was succeeding.

Jo Ann forced herself to look Sarah in the eyes. "Plain and simple explanation; I was embarrassed. Looking back now, I shouldn't have been. Except for when Dad left Mom and me, you've been there and seen me at my worst. You know every little secret and you still love me; would do anything for me. Somewhere, deep down inside me, I knew you wouldn't judge, but I couldn't let you see me like a victim. Somehow I couldn't take it if you thought less of me."

Sarah leaned back, dumbfounded. "Think less of you? That could never happen in a million years. Jesus, you really are a dumb bitch sometimes."

Jo Ann relaxed a bit because of Sarah's comment. 'Dumb bitch' was something Sarah had been calling her since college. Coming from Sarah, it was a term of endearment, never an insult. Jo Ann's name for Sarah was 'silly twat'.

"I feel so bad you had to go through that alone. Somehow, I always knew that you never gave me the whole story of what happened with David. I'd never seen you take a breakup that hard before. I knew you would tell me eventually, but Jesus, I never dreamed it would have been a story like that. I wish you would have told me back then. You've been dealing with this on your own for a year?"

Jo Ann had actually calmed down quite a bit. She'd was relieved that she'd finally told Sarah the truth about what happened; but still feared the worst part for her was yet to come. "I wasn't totally alone, I had my therapist."

"I'm glad you had someone but I can't believe it was the same as having me there with you." Sarah was actually beginning to feel some resentment at being kept out of what her friend was going through.

"You're right. I wish you had been there. It would have made some things easier. Not the rape itself, I needed professional help for that. The physical part of it was actually relatively easy to get over. I don't mean easy like the rape didn't matter or it was no big deal. It is a very big deal. I got over it because I knew it wasn't my fault. It wasn't something I could control. It's the mental side of things that is harder. I'm still dealing with a couple of issues from it but I'm getting better. I will never put myself in a position for that to happen again. Therapy is helping me with figuring out why I choose the men I do.

What was my fault was shutting you out of it all. I felt so alone sometimes. But the longer I held off telling you, the more embarrassed I became. That's another part that therapy has been helping me with. I had to make things right with you. That's been harder to get over than the other. I feel like I let you down." Jo Ann confessed.

"I still can't believe you wouldn't come to me with something like this. After everything we've been through together. I am absolutely devastated at what happened to you; no one should have to go through that. Fuck! My best friend went through something so terrible and wouldn't let me be there for her." Sarah's growing anger toward her friend suddenly frightened her. This wasn't about her, this was about Jo. She gave herself a minute to try and calm down. "I don't know, maybe I would see it differently if it been the other way around. If it would have been me that had been raped, maybe I wouldn't have leaned on you either. I hope I would have but it doesn't matter because it didn't happen to me. Now that you've told me, I'm here for you. Whatever you need, you know I'm here."

"I know. I know. I have one more thing still to tell you. Can you handle just a little more?" Jo knew her friend wouldn't let her down for this request. The request from earlier today; she was still unsure about that one.

"Sure. I can't imagine you have anything worse to tell me than what you already did. Even if it somehow is, we'll get through it together." Sarah squeezed Jo in big hug then sat back on the couch.

Jo started slowly. "I won't give you all the gory details of what happened that night but you need to hear a little of it. They all came in after midnight and I woke up because of how loud they were being. I wasn't happy with that and the fact that David had brought people over that late. I went back to bed and felt David lay down next to me a little while later. He made advances like he wanted sex but I was in no mood. Turns out it wasn't David lying next to me and he didn't take no for an answer. When he was done, the other guy took his place. It went on for at least a few hours. Sometimes there was just one of them. Sometimes they were both there. They did anything they wanted to me; any time they wanted it, any in place they wanted to do it. I was too scared to stop them."

Sarah was barely able to see due to the tears filling her eyes as Jo told her story. She was able to notice though that Jo wasn't crying one bit during the recounting of her rape. She guessed therapy really had taught her friend how to deal with it.

"David must have woken up or something because he came into the room with a knife and got them to stop. That is the only thing I can say he did for me; I still blame him for putting me in that situation. Who knows how long it might have gone on if he hadn't been there? As stupid as I was before, I got even stupider then. David somehow convinced me to not report it. I stayed with him for five more days before I got enough courage to leave and come to you. What a fool I was. So I came to you, knowing you would take care of me. Like I said, I was embarrassed so I didn't give you all the details. You and Randy took care of me and gave me a place to stay for as long as I needed it. But I still couldn't tell you what really happened."

Jo was almost finished with her story now. She should have been feeling better but she still had her biggest hurdle to overcome.

"Eventually, I recovered enough and thought I would start dating again. You know this part. It took about 9 months before I thought I was ready. I went out with a guy and quickly noticed a problem. Once we were alone, I was scared to let him get too close. He went to kiss me goodnight and I panicked. That's the biggest issue I'm still having about the rape. I'm scared to let a man touch me in that way, Sarah."

It finally clicked in Sarah's head. "Is that why you asked me about Randy earlier today?"

Jo Ann nodded. "It was a suggestion from therapy about how to get over this aversion to sex. They said that I needed to try and get comfortable with physical intimacy again. They proposed using a sex surrogate. Just like regular therapy, it would probably take multiple sessions to make a breakthrough. Maybe that could help me feel safe being with a man again, but I decided there was no way I could go through that with a stranger.

They suggested that it might work if had someone that I trusted completely to help me. There was only one name that I could think of Sarah; one man in the world that I knew would never hurt me. Randy is the best man I know, period. I feel so safe and comfortable around him. I love him just like I do you. And you've told me that he would do anything for me. I've told you this a few times before but I've never been more serious about how jealous I am of you when it comes to your husband."

Sarah was still trying to wrap her head around it all. "Wow, I know I said that Randy and I were here for whatever you need but I'm gonna need some time here. This isn't exactly what I thought you had in mind. You know that I'm going to have to let Randy know what happened to you. Are you going to be okay with that?"

"Yes, I can't hide it anymore. And I get your hesitation about it, Sarah, I really do. This is asking so much of you; and of him. I will completely understand if either of you say no. There's no guarantee this would work anyway but I'm about at the end of my rope here. Despite what happened to me, Sarah, I still have sexual desires. I haven't been laid in almost a year. I miss the touch of a man. I've been thinking about this for a month now so take as much time as you need. Do think there's any possible way you guys could help me?"

Jo Ann finally felt relieved. It was out of her hands now. She knew she was asking more than any friend could ask of another. All she could do was hope she had as good a friend as she thought she did.

"Oh, could you... You know what, forget it." Jo decided not to say it.

"Hey! Now is not the time to be holding anything back, you dumb bitch." Sarah came back at her.

"I just have one more favor to ask. If, somehow, you actually decide that you're okay with this but, for whatever reason, Randy isn't, please lie to me and tell me it was you that was uncomfortable with it all. I know what I'm asking for is a lot. I can understand you not wanting to share your husband but I don't think I could handle being rejected by a man for sex right now."

It was after 9 before Sarah got home. She and Jo had ordered some take out and continued talking for hours.

Randy heard Sarah's keys in the front door and met her in the hall with a big hug. "Is everything okay with Jo?"

She burrowed her head into Randy's chest, glad to be home. "It will be but it's going to take some time. It's something pretty big. Can we not talk about it tonight? Will you just hold me for a while?"

Randy and Sarah had been married for a little over 8 years. He was concerned for both Sarah and Jo Ann but he knew when to back off and not press for answers. "Of course I will. It's still fairly early; you wanna cuddle up on the couch or just go ahead and go to bed?"

"Let me get into something comfy and I'll meet you on the couch. You can watch something on TV if you keep the volume low. Watch whatever you want, I don't even think I'll know it's on. I just need to be close to you right now." Sarah kissed him and then went into their bedroom to change her clothes. She stripped down naked and threw on just sweat pants and one of Randy's big t-shirts that she loved to sleep in.

He was already sitting on one end of the couch when she came back in. "Are you sure everything is okay?" he asked her.

"Yeah, yeah, there was just a lot to take in." She sat down on the floor in front of him. "Will you rub my shoulders?"

Randy hadn't felt this much tension in his wife's neck and shoulders for years. His strong hands began working the tissue beneath them and soon he was feeling progress. Her muscles began relaxing and she began to make small moans of pleasure. He pulled her up and sat her on his lap so he could work his way further down her back; manipulating her flesh. He moved down below her shoulder blades, along her ribs to her lower back, then back up her spine to her neck again, starting the journey all over again.