"John, about yesterday," George began, "we were all kidding. Right? We do it all the time. I know Jenney won't go for it." I put the money in my pocket. His eye widened. I didn't say anything. A minute passed before he continued. "Five hundred for an hour with her is a good price. Quite reasonable in fact. I mean...well, she is a very beautiful woman. Smart too. If she was arrested, she'd lose her professional license. She really wouldn't do it, would she? You didn't tell her about our bidding, did you?"
"She has agreed to the five hundred per hour, but with a two-hour minimum," I said very calmly.
His eyes bulged. "You're...you're kidding. Right?" I smiled at him. "You're laughing. I knew it was a joke."
"No, George, it's not a joke. I need another five hundred from you."
He turned around to see if anyone else was in the room. When he saw we were alone, he yanked out his wallet and extracted another five one-hundred-dollar bills which he thrust into my hand. "This is crazy! You're actually going to let me fuck your wife?"
"You have two hours to spend with her doing whatever you want."
"I can't believe it! I get to fuck Jenny!" He raised his arms up in the air and danced a couple circles. He put his hands on my desk and leaned toward me. "When do I get to have her? Where are we going to do it? It can't be my place; Ellen would kill me. Your place, right? Nobody would suspect a thing. I would just be having dinner with my coworker and his wife."
I took Jenny's business card from my shirt pocket and gave it to him. "The bottom number is her private line. Give her a call."
He stared at the card for a moment. "I've gotta find a phone booth."
"What's wrong with the phone on your desk?"
"It's not very private, if you know what I mean."
I stood up. "I'm going to get a cup of coffee. Do you want anything?"
"I've already got what I want. You have to promise not to tell Ellen."
"She won't hear anything from me."
I don't know who was more nervous that morning, George, or me. Seated at the desk to my right was the man who had given me a thousand dollars to fuck my wife. I had no idea when it would happen. He couldn't tell me without the rest of the office knowing what was up. Jenny didn't call to tell me. Maybe they hadn't talked yet. Or maybe they had and had set their date for a different day.
I suspected that it would be that day. George never was very patient. He glanced my way every couple minutes. His hand shook every time he picked up a pencil. Sometime soon he would be cheating on his wife. He and Ellen were very close. I wondered if I might be contributing to the destruction of their marriage. I couldn't afford to entertain such thoughts. I kept telling myself that we were engaged in a business transaction, nothing else. I had sold him a piece of merchandise. Of course, what I had sold him was my wife.
When lunchtime rolled around, George announced, a little too loudly, he would not be joining us; he had "another engagement."
Chuck, Mike, and I went downstairs to the cafeteria. "What's going on between you and George?" Mike asked as we sat down at a table with our trays. "You both act like the cat that ate the canary."
"You aren't still upset about the bidding for Jenny? Chuck asked. "You are the one who instigated it."
"You're right," I said, "I did. Everything has been resolved quite nicely. Better than expected, actually."
"Man, you're talking in riddles," Mike said. "What's going on?"
"I would have gone to six hundred," Chuck said.
"Now you tell me," I replied. They both laughed. "Just for the sake of discussion, assuming Jenny was willing, would you pay to sleep with her?"
"How much?" Chuck asked. "Just for the sake of discussion."
"The top bid yesterday was five hundred dollars an hour," I said. "Let's go with that figure with a two-hour minimum. Would you do it?"