For me, the summertime was our season for pillow talk. Ripe with erotica, maybe it was the warmer weather that necessitated wearing fewer clothes and my wife, Gloria, walking around in a bikini and attracting the leering looks of men that inspired my dirty thoughts about her. For whatever the reason, during our pillow talking sessions, I told Gloria all that I sexually imagined about her having sex with others, while I watched.
I don't know why that fantasy excited me so, but it did. It excited me to think about her interacting sexually with another man, a woman, a man and a woman, or multiple men. Sitting in the dark, while stroking my cock, I wanted to watch. I wanted to see her reaction to the sexual pleasure that others gave her.
In hindsight, perhaps, I over did it, but I talked about whatever was sexually on my mind at the time and maybe I smothered her with too much pillow talk. How much is too much? Without having an instruction manual, there's no measure and no way to know. Unfortunately, much like normalcy and insanity, we may not know until we cross the imaginary line and then it's too late.
Unfortunately, now that we've upset the balance and broken the fine line that separates erotica from perversion, it's difficult to return to how it used to be. Once, you've crossed the line, once you've put yourself out for the sexual inspection of others, it's too late. Sometimes, it's for the better and sometimes it's for the worse. This was one of those times that it backfired and blew up in my face. Be careful what you wish for because this could happen to you.
Being much older than my young, trophy of a wife, clearing the air by sharing my sexual thoughts with pillow talk was necessary for me to get romantically excited with her. Only, believing she was stimulated by the same erotic thoughts and the same whispered dirty words, I discovered that I didn't know what she was thinking, until it was too late. If I knew then what I know now, I never would have started the foolishness of pillow talk and confessing my desires for her to have sex with others, while I watched. I like to watch.
I thought I knew my wife. I thought she loved me. I thought we were totally compatible. Base on those beliefs and sensing that I could totally trust her with whatever we discussed and all that I confessed; I thought she enjoyed pillow talk, as much as I did. Little did I know how tragically this story would end and had I known, I would have appreciated what I had with her and never would have risked our relationship to start this pillow talking nonsense.
I wished I had listened to my wife when she said that she didn't want to have pillow talk. Only, I ignored her figuring that she was just shy talking about such things and would enjoy it more, once we started it and continued it on a regular basis. In hindsight, I can see now that she was clearheaded and not driven by the lust of pillow talk in the way that I was. Thinking more of my sexual needs than hers, being sexually selfish in my need to push her to explore an extramarital affair with others, I should have tempered my need for pillow talk with more physical sex from me and only from me, that more satisfied her sexual needs, rather than just verbalizing my sexual thoughts in wanting her to have sex with others.
"That's all you want to do, Paul, is to have pillow talk. You used to want to have sex, now you just want to talk about me having sex with someone else, while you watch."
She was right. I can see that now. Yet, it was exciting fun to think about the possibilities of her with another rather than to face the realities of me having a difficult time getting aroused enough to sexually satisfy her. If my sexy wife, Gloria, was to have an affair, and after insisting she give me all the sordid details during hot pillow talk, would I end the relationship and kick her to the curb? Or would I be so excited that I'd want her to have more affairs, just so she could whisper to me what she did with whom, while stroking my cock before blowing me?
"How was your day, Gloria?"
"Well, I went shopping at the mall and tried on some shoes."
"Tell me, did you give him a show?"
"I did. You should have seen the look on the man's face when he saw that I wasn't even wearing panties."
"Tell me more, Gloria, what else did you do?"
"I bought a dress at that boutique you so love."
"I do love that boutique. Their dressing rooms are the only ones at the mall that still have curtains, curtains that never close all the way."
"I was thinking of you, pretending it was you standing outside the curtain, while watching me remove my blouse and skirt to try on a dress naked, instead of the two gentlemen, who were there waiting for their wives and/or girlfriends, while watching me undress."
"Do you think they saw much?"
"Oh, I made sure they saw everything, Paul, taking my time parading around in front of the opening naked. I'm sure they saw my ass, my tits, and my shaved pussy."
I don't know, but how could I leave her? She still makes my knees weak; she's so sexy and so beautiful. It doesn't matter what she does or doesn't do, so long as she gives me hot pillow talk. Just being with her, with her on my arm and with her lying in bed beside me naked, while spooning her and feeling her big tits, is enough for me.
I couldn't help but wonder about her with her best friend, Sheila. Gloria was a blonde, a natural blonde and Sheila was a redhead, a natural redhead. Sheila was hot, as hot as Gloria. I never had sex with a redhead before, and I'd do Sheila, if I had the opportunity. Certainly not for the lack of trying, I've been trying to get her down to the dark, deep end of the pool for two years.
After taking a Viagra, I could get aroused enough to do Sheila. Always together, they went everywhere, especially shopping, and did everything together. Sometimes when alone and horny, I imagine doing Gloria and Sheila together. It was exciting to ask Gloria and to hear her tell me what Sheila looked like naked. While listening to her, I wondered if Sheila's husband Ron asked his wife what Gloria looked like naked. It was exciting to imagine he did, just as it was exciting to imagine that she told him.
I imagined them trying on clothes in the same dressing room at that boutique with the curtains that don't close all the way and flashing men, while giggling like the girls they still are. I imagined them already having seen one another in their lingerie, when trying on clothes or naked, when trying on bikinis. I imagined them having a couple of drinks back at the house and being attracted to one another. I imagined them suddenly feeling horny, making out, and touching each other, before having hot, lesbian sex.
Now her summertime regimen, Gloria had become more health conscious, exercising, dieting, and taking private lessons. She had a personal trainer, a tennis pro, and a golf pro. After meeting them, I wondered about them. They were all young, good looking, and in better physical condition than me. If they had my money, she'd be gone with one of them, no doubt.
With me being fifteen years older than she is, but now with her getting older, our May/December romantic relationship reversed with her being December and the young lovers that I imagined her with being May. Except for the hot pillow talk that I had with her, I found myself out of the picture. Is that it? Is our sexual relationship over? Instead of being attracted to an older man, did she now lust over younger men? Instead of being the bitchin' sexy babe she once was, has she suddenly become a cougar on the prowl, in the way that I have become the dirty, old man and lecherous husband?
Yet, I knew better. I knew that her interest in her personal trainer, tennis pro, and golf pro was merely professional and innocent. I knew there was nothing going on there but some erotic wishful thinking on my part and the perversion of my active imagination and what I imagined she'd do with them, after having some hot pillow talk with me. Still, it was exciting to imagine her on her back with her legs spread or on her knees with her mouth open, while the personal trainer, the tennis pro, or the golf pro had his way with her hot body.
Then, I wondered, what if they all had their way with her already? What if she was doing them all, one at a time, or all three together? Just as I know she's not having hot sex with any one of them, it was still exciting to think that she was.
In talking to her late at night about it, I couldn't help but wonder if the personal trainer accidentally on purpose touched her boobs, while exercising her lats with pull downs. I wondered if he peeked up her short shorts, stealing glances past her shapely thighs and at her panties hoping to see her pussy, while holding her by her ankles, as she did crunches. Just as I wondered what he saw of her body that he shouldn't have seen, I wondered what she saw of his body that she lusted over seeing and wanted to touch and experience in the privacy of the locker room later.
I wondered if he gave her a massage and accidentally on purpose positioned the towel to slip off her oily body to expose her ass, tits, and/or pussy.
"Oops! Sorry. Now, that I've seen your ass, tits, and pussy, perhaps we should continue the massage without the towel."
After working her tense muscles, I wondered if she worked his stiff cock. I wondered, as part of his personal training and personal service, if he fucked her right there on the massage table. I wondered when lying on her stomach, while he worked her tense neck and sore shoulders, if she worked his hard cock and big balls through his skimpy shorts. I imagined her lifting her head, pulling down his shorts, and stroking his cock, before taking so much of him in her mouth. This poisonous pillow talk was proving to be a dangerous pill to swallow, only, I couldn't get enough of it. It was erotic and exciting fun.
I wondered if he peeked at her taking a shower on the pretense of collecting dirty towels and bringing her fresh, clean ones.
