Our hero has been locked in on one view since the beginning of this. And in his world, he is the only person who can afford to live in a glass house. But unfortunately right and wrong always depend on where you sit. And perhaps things aren't quite as cut and dried as he thinks they are. The consequences of smug come home to roost here. So please enjoy it and as usual thank you for reading.
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I sailed back to the marina with a much sunnier outlook than I had when I left. Mind-blowing sex with my stunning wife would lift the spirits of the undead. More importantly, I was sure that Janet and I had done the right thing in our efforts to recalibrate our marriage.
It was hard to blame Murphy for trying. No male on the planet would miss Janet's spectacular face, figure or smoldering sexuality. And I am sure that most of the men she has encountered in life have had fleeting thoughts about what it would be like to seduce her. They just didn't act on them.
But that is in the civilized universe. What neither of us had faced before was a situation where the man pursuing Janet didn't care whether she was hurt or not.
Janet is a good person and nobody has ever treated her like a pawn before. So she simply had no way of seeing through Murphy's actions to the dark, hurtful side.
Murphy knew that if he, in effect, took me out of her life Janet would turn to some other alpha male for comfort. And he was smart enough to let her make all of the first moves in the journey to her own downfall.
All he had to do was provide a caring and non-threatening shoulder and then "strike when the bitch was hot", so-to-speak.
By her own reckoning, Janet had realized that she would have to learn to navigate by her internal compass with no help or guidance from me. She was dedicated to learning how to do that and I was committed to helping her.
If it accomplished anything, the period that we had agreed to separate built an emotional firebreak between our past marriage and our prospective one. And I was hoping that when we restarted our life together, which I fully intended to do, we would recapture some of the freshness that we had lost over time.
But I had to admit that I was having serious buyer's remorse, especially with the living in exile part of our arrangement.
Five weeks into the mission, it hurt a lot more to wake up without her next to me, than it did to have any disagreeable feelings about the time she spent with Murphy.
In fact, those old unpleasant memories were replaced by new, even more disturbing ones. I was now constantly wondering what she was doing in the times that I wasn't around.
We had weekly "dates", where I took her out and we talked. And they almost always ended up with her fucking me cross-eyed. But I was not with her the other six days of the week. And she is the sort of woman who could sit in a public park for 15 minutes and have any number of potential Prince-Charmings come along to hit on her.
That led to another alarming notion. When she is by herself, stray men are always trying to start conversations with her. That kind of thing has happened to her for as long as I have known her. And Janet is a very open and friendly person, so she will talk to anybody who approaches her.
The fact that she attracts men like country music attracts red-necks never bothered me in the past. That was because I didn't leave her unattended long enough for anybody to make headway with her. But I was not with her most of the time now. And it was simply inevitable that Janet would interact with a lot of attractive men without me around to discourage them.
That prospect gave me a pea-green jealous feeling, "What if Janet discovered that what she REALLY wanted was the variety of the single life?" My little voice nudged me and said, "And why didn't you think of that possibility before?"
That led me to another chilling thought. Up to this point I had believed that I was grandly enforcing my entitlements as the wronged party. But, as I thought about it I realized that what I had really done was put my very tempting wife out there on the shelf for the wolves to prey on. From a practical standpoint that was just plain stupid.
Which led me to my final consideration, "Maybe I am actually more naΓ―ve and complacent than she was?" But what options did I have? We both agreed that we needed separation to put our marriage back together.
I knew that, in order to keep my own sanity I had to stop thinking about what Janet might be doing with other men. Given what I do for a living I could easily monitor everything about her life. But that would be a total violation of our agreement, as well as her personal privacy.
I had to count on what we had built over the past 17 years and her love for me. That attitude might make me into a total cuckolded weenie at the end of this. But, short of completely unwarranted snooping I didn't see another alternative except to stick with what we had arranged and trust her to do the right thing.
So in the end it came back around to faith in each other and our marriage. I was mostly able to keep the paranoid insecurity at bay, because I believed that she loved me and she knew the conditions for restarting things from the beginning. But the pain that my incipient jealousy was causing never quite went away, particularly with the notably boring single life I was leading.
My condo was actually a lot nicer and more convenient to work than our house. I was getting the hang of simple housekeeping, so it was not a hardship to live by myself.
But the dreadful hours between when I got home from work, and when I went to bed, were now filled with nothing more than me sitting in front of the tube drinking beer and watching sports.
There was no loving give-and-take, or discussion about our day and what its happenings meant in the great scheme of things. I missed my best friend terribly.
I still don't cook and so during that period I either ate out or brought home something every night. That's why I happened to be sitting in our favorite chain restaurant when she came in with four of her fellow teachers.
It was late July so they must have been doing the usual teacher preparation stuff prior to starting school. If she wasn't already married to me I would have rushed right over to her table and proposed holy matrimony on the spot.
She was remarkable. Her beautiful oval face, with its dimples and sharply pointed chin, was framed by her thick auburn hair. Her huge hazel eyes were flashing with the good humor and warmth that just flows out of her. And that spectacular body and those huge tits were like listening to the opening notes of Beethoven's Ninth. You might have heard it a thousand times but it still moves you.