Nobody under eighteen. No sex in this short story, just a bit of a final confrontation between husband and wife. It's only a story. I tried, but I couldn't get down to 750 words.
Phone Call
My soon-to-be ex-wife came down the stairs in a brand new sexy dress. Too bad it wasn't for me. Her paramour was the intended recipient of all her love and affection this weekend.
"You look gorgeous Sam, simply ravishing. I'm just sorry it's not for me. I'm sure Mitchell will be appreciative. Well you have yourself a lovely weekend."
"Aren't you going to try to stop me? Don't you even want to know why I'm all dressed up and going out the door? Don't you care about your wife at all Glenn?" She hissed at me. Her hypocracy seemed to know no bounds.
Silly girl. I just got the final report from the investigator that cost me three grand. Yikes! Well it came out of our vacation fund, so my darling loving wife paid half that bill to investigate herself! Oh yeah, there's a bit of irony there. But I was up to speed on her fun little extra-marital adventures for the most part. She's been a busy little beaver.
"I have a wife? Who would that be? You and I have not had relations or intimacy in six whole months. I did try, with vacations, weekend getaways, dinners, and all kinds of fun stuff. I have really tried my best to get back to a loving marriage. I got every excuse imaginable for your non participation. Plus you keep telling me about some fantastic promotion you're in line for. Thus, all the long workdays. Well I guess fuckin your boss counts as work if you're selling sex. I guess that's your new promotion, to company whore? Got lots of crystal clear pictures of you and Mitch doing the nasty, plus plenty of videos for the divorce.
"So to answer your question, no Samantha, I don't want to stop you. I don't want you to do this, but hey, you're going anyway right? I want to take your picture. Here Sam, hold this." I handed her a big envelope with her name on it in black marker. I took a picture of her holding her packet. I took three shots for the lawyer. My idiot wife even smiled for the camera. She's dumber than a box of rocks.
"You have been served. Get a lawyer, check out the agreement and sign it. Or don't, whatever. If you don't sign it or respond to my lawyer, then all the photos and videos will be shown in open court. If you sign what's in your hand, that's filed under irreconcilable differences and that is a 50/50 split. The pack that says 'Marital Infidelity' gives me an 80/20 division if you push me into it. Your choice. I do want the microwave since I don't cook too much. Plus the exercise equipment, since you never have used any of it. Almost every bit of my stuff is moved already. My tools and man-cave stuff is going this weekend. There is one more thing. The rings. Here's mine." I held out my wedding band for her. I waited while she took off her rings. She handed both to me. I gave her back her engagement ring.
"I gave you that one. Sell it, pawn it, shove it up your ass for all I care. It cost a bunch of money originally.
The wedding ring was my grandmother's. I'm sure our son's bride will love it if he chooses to get married. One more thing, I need you to sign a waiver for me." I explained.
"Really? A waiver? Why?"She asked.
"Because technically I am still your husband until the divorce is final. You are going to be in a gangbang this weekend and you won't tell me where, plus you are going against my will. You are on your own this weekend. I will be unable and unavailable to save you or take care of you in the event things go sideways. This relieves me of any responsibility for any injuries or death that happens to you in connection with your sexcapades this weekend. It just states that I have advised you against this party, and I will not be held accountable for your actions. Don't bother calling me, I will not pick up. I sincerely hope you change your mind before trying to fuck fifteen guys. You may contract a serious STD. Hell, you might wind up pregnant and not know which of these guys to thank." I told her quite honestly that her fun time was not without risks. I wash my hands of her stupidity.
"This will be our last time to talk. Once you walk out that door, all further communications will be via the lawyers. Thanks for the lovely
children. Thanks for most of the marriage, the last two years of shit notwithstanding. The kids are both at your parents house. I have spoken to them already, they are aware of this wonderful weekend of yours, and have a general idea of what you have been up to. I didn't give them or your parents any photos, as I didn't want to hurt any of them, not even your batshit crazy mother." I explained to her. There was a honk in the driveway. "Sign there and there. Here's your copy. You should get going. Your new man is waiting for you. Good luck to you. Do not call me. EVER!"
"You told the children?" she asked me.
"They are seventeen and eighteen years old. THEY TOLD ME ABOUT YOUR CHEATING, not the other way around. Good luck with them too!"
