I wanted to kill Mike and that slut wife of his, Lisa. Knowing they had initiated my daughter into sex had me into a rage. I tried to call Mike the evening of our sexual adventure. He wouldn't answer his phone. Next day I went over to his house. He wasn't there. I went to the bank. They hadn't seen him. He had disappeared.
Days later I learned he had been transferred to a branch in Provo. I continued to call, e-mail, and write notes and letters. I got no response from any of them. It was certain he was hiding from me.
Cindy had finished her last days of high school and graduated with top honors. However, she was a shell of her old self. She was withdrawn and so very angry with me. I couldn't break through to her. Her father thought it was just graduation remorse. That her world was changing and she was sad.
Her world had changed alright. She was no longer our little girl. But, her fool for a Dad didn't have a clue and neither would have I had I not stumbled across her secret. How could I have been so blind? I thought I was in tune with my daughter, but I had been asleep at the wheel.
Yes, I wanted to commit murder. Mike then Lisa, or Lisa then Mike. I was going crazy. My world was falling apart. I was on the verge of going over the edge. I had never felt so out of control in all my life. I thought my heart was going to break knowing what had happened to my beautiful daughter.
I made trip to Provo to see Mike, but they said he'd taken a couple days off so couldn't find him. I went on to Salt Lake City to cut Lisa's heart out but couldn't find her either. It was probably a good thing considering my state of mind.
Cindy left to work that summer at Zion National Park. She was never willing to say one word about her encounters with Mike and Lisa. She was planning to work the summer, then start college in the fall on an academic scholarship at Southern Utah University.
I muddled through first days of summer trying to fake a smile so the world wouldn't know how bad I was hurting.
Out jogging one morning I passed Mike's house to find a moving van loading household content. Mike wasn't there, just the men in the loading crew. The son of a bitch had come during the dead of night and left before sunrise. What an ass hole.
Then, a few days after the 4th of July, just as I had about given up all hope of ever seeing or talking to Mike, I received a phone call from him. He said he was driving a motor home from Rexburg, Idaho to Las Vegas for his uncle. He would swing out of his way if I wanted to talk for an hour or so. Finally I was going to get the face to face I had so desperately wanted since we had passionately kissed each other good-by three months earlier. I wanted to call him dirty names, to scream and cuss and unload on him, but I held my tongue.
"When and where?" I asked. I told him I'd be there.
I was lucky Jim and my son Josh had gone on a fishing trip to Wyoming. I didn't have to lie to anyone in order to meet Mike.
Mike pulled the monster RV unit into the church parking lot at 10:30 that night. I stepped inside and told him to drive, while I stayed in the back out of site. I didn't want anyone seeing us. Ten minutes later we were clear of town and I joined him up front. Our moment of confrontation began ...
"I don't even know where to begin." I started slow, trying to keep my emotion in check.
"I can understand that you have questions."
"Your God damned right I have questions!" My voice raising with my temper, "Just where in the hell do you and your slut wife get off seducing my daughter? Do you have one ounce of remorse over your actions?
You don't have a clue how close you and your whore wife have come to being in jail."
"That wouldn't be a good idea." Mike said with a calm and collected voice.
"And why the hell shouldn't I, you fucking prick?" Oh how I wanted to lash out and hit him.
"Park this fucking boat!" I demanded. I wanted all his attention and not to die in the crash if I did decided to cut his fucking throat. I'd thought about bringing a gun and shooting his ass. Part of me wished I had. A small part was glad I hadn't armed myself.
It was dark and Mike pulled off the highway on a little side road that led to a camping spot by the river some fifteen miles south of town. It was big enough to turn around if no one was camping there. We were lucky, no one was at the site. He stopped, turned off the engine and turned to me in the last twinges of twilight.
I was beyond angry, and no one to talk to. I couldn't talk to my husband. Cindy wouldn't talk to me. I couldn't talk to any of my friends. Mike had disappeared. I was going crazy with a thousand questions and no answers.
"It wouldn't be wise to call the authorities for several reasons." Mike began answering my questions.
"Just give me one good reason why I shouldn't."
I'll give you a dozen he said. "First, think about what it would do to your image. People would think your family was dysfunctional. You would be the talk of the town. Second, it would come out that you and I had an affair. That would bring the wrath of the church down on you. You'd get excommunicated. The Bishop (my husband Jim) would divorce you. I 'd go to jail and my daughter would be without a father. It would bring shame to your daughter who has all ready been hurt by this. And, she would never testify against Lisa or I."
Mike stopped talking and just looked at me waiting for my reply. I knew all of his arguments were true. I couldn't find reasonable words of argument so with tears rolling down my cheeks, I responded.
"You're a fucking asshole!" hoping my words would cut deep.
"I guess I had that coming." Mike said.
"Well maybe you have this coming, too!" I slapped Mike in the face as hard as I could. He just stared at me with no reaction. I slapped him again. It felt good to finally lash out at someone. To do something besides hold my anger at bay. On the third attack he caught my hand, said that was enough and kissed me hard.
