My wife Ann and I have been married for more than twelve years. We married at a young age, but we were both ready to be together. Our love has been very deep and up until a few months ago, I thought that things were great between us.
After I got out of college, I found a job for a year and then moved onto a better one. After ten years with the firm I work for now, I have moved up into the upper management and financially doing far better than ever before. I have earned every penny of it too.
Over the first three years we had two kids. A boy and a girl, both the apples of my eye. Ann had been staying at home until about eight years ago. She decided to go back to school and get her degree.
I supported her in her dreams and after five long hard years of going to school year ‘round she got her MBA and then went out and found a job. Since my job had been taking care of us so well, we decided to put her salary into an investment account and live on mine.
Her job was interesting to her and even though our sex life suffered a bit we were still deeply in love with each other. We rarely had arguments, usually just little tiffs over stupid things that in the long run didn't matter. All in all we had what I thought was a great marriage.
Then, about a year ago Ann got promoted to a position that would require her to travel quite a bit. Since it was a step upwards and she was in favor with upper management, I swallowed my pride and said little to discourage her taking the new promotion.
I was worried that we wouldn't see each other much at all now, but I wanted her to succeed in her job so I supported her as she had supported me for so long. At first her travels stayed within the business week, less than two days and she would be home on the weekends without fail.
Our sex life suffered more with this travel as I had thought it would, but I was mostly upset that she was losing time with our kids that could not be recovered. We had talked about it and at one time she was almost to the point of quitting and just staying at home again to be with them.
We live in a nice home in the suburbs and the only time we had to go into the city was to go to the airport so she could catch her flights. Not a long drive, but long enough that she didn't want to leave her car at the long term parking area. I would drop her off at the airport, usually early so I wouldn't be late for work, then she would wait for her plane.
I had noticed that our sex had lost some of its intensity over the last few years. It troubled me, and I think Ann too. Some of the passion we had early on was gone and it seemed a bit mechanical. I tried to spice things up, small thing's like having romantic dinner ready for her when she got home, taking the kids to either of our parents and leaving them for the night while we went out. It seemed to help quite a bit but then after a while that stopped too. Mostly due to our jobs and the hectic schedules we had.
Our sex life continued to dwindle and soon we rarely had sex more than once a month. When we did, it was like Ann was just doing it to please me rather than enjoying it with me. It hurt me to think that she was so bored in our marriage that she would act this way.
I brought it up one night and she blew up. I was shocked at how angry she got at me. It was like a whole different person had materialized in front of me and I was stunned at her rage. I slept on the couch that night (for the first time ever) and in the morning I got the kids and took them to the sitter without talking to her at all.
All that day at work I fretted about her anger toward me and wondered what had brought it all on. I am afraid that her anger and our fight came to work with me and I was less than nice to several co-workers. I felt bad after that long day and didn't know what I could do to make it up to my co-workers. They hadn't deserved to be treated like I had because of my personal problems.
When I got home, it was to an empty house. I ran over and got the kids wondering why Ann hadn't done it. Usually I would drop them off and she would pick them up. Today she hadn't even called to let me know the she wasn't going to be able to.
After ranting to myself as I drove to get the kids I then got worried. Why hadn't Ann been able to get the kids anyway? Why no calls to me, or even a message left with my assistant? What was going on with my wife?
After feeding the kids and playing with them for a while I put them to bed. No Ann. I waited up until midnight, but to no avail. I went to bed quite troubled and upset. I was pissed off and also afraid that she may have been hurt and I didn't know about it.
The next morning, after getting the kids ready and talking them into eating their breakfasts, I saw the answering machine light blinking. As the kids stood by, I heard Ann's voice telling me that something had come up and she had to go to Chicago on an emergency.
I looked at our kids and wondered what had been such an emergency that she hadn't been able to call me at work or on my cell phone yesterday? I bundled the kids off to the sitter and went into work. As I sat in my office I found myself wondering if our marriage was about to breakup. I didn't have a good feeling at that moment.
Later that morning I got a call from her. She was all apologetic and sounded like she had been crying. I listened to her and my heart was pounding. I felt that there was something she wasn't telling me, but I was too afraid to ask her for fear she would go off on me like the other night.
She asked me if I could get the kids from the sitters as she wouldn't be home until late tonight. Ann was acting strange as she talked to me too. It was like she had rehearsed what she was going to say to me. Stiff and disjointed not smooth like she was just talking or having a normal conversation.
After her call I was more worried than ever before. It suddenly occurred to me that my marriage may already be lost, that I was too late to prevent us from breaking up. I felt a chill course through me as that thought hit me hard. Had I lost Ann? Was it too late for us? Most important, why, why was she acting the way she was?
All I knew was that I loved my wife with my whole being. She had my soul and heart. I couldn't imagine a life without her. What about our kids? Would they become those kids who saw one parent this week and the other on the weekend? I was scared now. I felt like I was losing my life.
That night as I drove the kids home, I noticed that I had a message on my cell phone. How I had missed it I didn't know, but I had. It was from Ann. She wanted me to take the kids to her parent's house for the night and she would explain when she got home.
My thoughts were mixed as I drove the kids to my mother-in-law's. Getting there she greeted me as she usually did, with a hug and kiss on the cheek. She held me by my shoulders. She pushed me back to look deep into my eyes.
"Is there a problem between you and Ann, Patrick? Something I can help you with? She called earlier and didn't sound very happy at all."
