Pams Guilt

If you are looking for quick action type of story, this is not for you. I appreciate comments, including constructive ones. Hope you enjoy it.

(1) Introduction

My name is Pam. I am a Malaysian Chinese. I know the term Malaysian Chinese is not the right term. It should be called Chinese Malaysian. But that's the way we call ourselves.

I am 37. My husband, Steve, and I got married when I was 25. I gave birth to 3 children. They are 10, 8, and 5 now. Steve is a bread winner. I am a housewife, staying home taking care of the children.

Even after giving birth to 3 children, I keep my body pretty well. I don't have an exercise routine, but any mum would know taking care of kids are very physically demanding.

(2) Oversea assignment

Steve and I discussed about him taking up an assignment in China on and off for a few months. The opportunity was too good to pass by. We discussed about the short and long term plan. The short term plan was for him to relocate to China. If everything went well, my children and I will join him. He took the opportunity and left us behind in Malaysia.

The first few months after he left was very difficult. My parents offered to help. My children and I moved back to live with my parents. It was a win win decision. My parents got to spoil my children and my children loved to be with them.

(3) Visit

I went to visit Steve after he was in China for more than 7 months. The trip was difficult because I had to leave the children behind due to school. I never spent a day apart with my children since they were born. I knew though they will be in good hands staying with my parents. It was still very emotional when saying goodbye with them at the airport.

After about 9 hours of flight plus transit time, I finally saw my husband in the arriving hall at the airport. I haven't seen him for a few months, he was thinner but very upbeat. He gave me a really big hug, which I missed for months.

We hopped onto a taxi headed back to his apartment. The drive was about an hour. It was misty and cold by my standard. Coming from a tropical country, 20 degree celcius is cold. Despite the long travel time, I felt really good to have a warm body to lay on while in the taxi. My heart felt warm. My body felt warm too by Steve's hand wondering on my body. It was dark. The taxi driver couldn't have seen us. I just relaxed and enjoyed his touch.

He told me on the phone he lived in a very nice apartment building. When we got there, I saw at least 10 or 11 high rise apartment buildings. Each of them must be at least 20-30 floors. They were close to each other.

Maybe it was late and raining, I didn't see too many cars. When the taxi pull into the building area, it was stopped by a security guard. He waved us through after Steve showed him a pass. Steve guided the taxi driver to an apartment building. The lights were bright at the entrance but I did not see anyone. Steve said these apartments are full of expats, he seldom saw anyone outside after dark. It gave me a ghost town feeling despite the bright light.

We got on a lift. I was wrong. As shown on the elevator panel, it's a 52 floor building. It was a lot taller than I thought. The lift stopped at 48th floor. The lift door opened and the lights in the hallway flashed. It was a big contrast from the front entrance. The light in the hallway was dark. Steve said they are motion activated. The floor looks like marble floor. Looks really fancy to me.

As soon as he closed the apartment door behind us and dropped the bags to the floor, he gave me a deep kiss which I've been long for. My body was warm from his touch earlier in the taxi. His hands wandered to my breasts while our lips were locked together. I started to breathe heavier. His body pushed me to the wall behind me. He took off my jacket. He was impatient. He wanted to take off my blouse. I stopped him. I reminded him that he has a housemate. He assured me that his housemate was not home, followed by a blink on his eyes. He went on to remove my blouse. He gave me a deep kiss again while his hands were unhooking my bra. Once it was unhooked, he pull the strap from my left shoulder down. I pull the other strap down and let the bra fell down to the floor. He stopped kissing me. He stared at my breasts. I don't know if it was from the cold or from the touch, my nipples were hard.

Steve cupped my both breasts. He gave my forehead a light kiss. He looked me in the eyes and then kissed and sucked my left breast. He was not that gentle. He was excited because I can feel his manhood pushing toward my body. I looked around the apartment while he took turn to kiss both of my breasts. It was dark but we were not in total. I can see the light coming in from outside through the large window.

He kneed down in front of me. He unbuttoned my jeans. I know what's next.

"Can we go to your room?" I suggested.

He lifted me and took me on his arm. The last time he carried me must be years ago. I was worried he would drop me. He looked stronger than just a few months ago.

His room was not too dark. It is the same as the living room, one side of the wall has a really large window. I can see the light from outside. No curtain.

He dropped me on his bed. The bed was cold but very comfortable. He unzipped and pull the jeans off me. He immediately pull my panties off as well. The room was still cold. I can feel the heat from our bodies. He laid on my right side. He kissed me while his right hand felt my body. My nipples were hard. His cupped my left breast. I moaned. His hand moved down my body until he felt my pussy hair. He pushed my left leg apart. I was wet. He began stimulating my clit. He knew exactly how to make me excited. I moaned again. His fingers were playful and touched the right place I wanted him to touch.

While he was feeling my pussy, his mouth was busy sucking my right nipple. I hugged him really tightly against my body. His finger entered me. I moaned for the third time. He took it as encouragement. He sucked my other nipple. His was finger fucking me.

He stopped after 1-2 minutes. He got up and removed his jacket, his shirt, his pants, and finally his underwear. I know what was going to come. It felt warm knowing he wanted me so badly.

His cock was hard. It was pointing at me after he removed his underwear. He got on top of my body and kissed my mouth. His left hand was supporting his weight but his right hand was on my breasts. I can feel his cock outside of my pussy waiting to come in. I wanted him badly too. I guided his cock into me.

"Mmmmm." I moaned. That's what I had been waiting for for so long.

He lifted both of my legs to his shoulders. I know this position well. It was his favourite position. He once told me he can last longer in this position. I loved this position too for the different reason -- I did not have to move.

I can feel his cock in and out of me. I can feel his tense from his facial expression. He was looking at me while fucking me. I turned around to avoid the eye contact. I never felt easy when he looked at me while making love.

I closed my eyes. I moaned while he was fucking me. The room was noisy. Apart from my moan and his heavy breath, I can also hear the noise from the bed frame.

"Mmmmm."

I heard a low noise coming out of his throat. I was familiar with this noise. He was about to come. I can feel it as he is fucking me harder and faster.

"Mmmmm." I moaned anticipating his release.

He continued fucking me for another 30-40 seconds. Very fast and very hard. The bed frame was hitting the wall faster and louder.

"I am coming." A few seconds after he said that, I felt warm inside my body.

"Mmmmm."

All in the sudden, the room went silent again. All I can hear now was his heavy breath. His upper body was on top of my body. Hugging me tight. I kissed him on his head.

"I love you." I said silently.

We hugged for another few minutes. I felt his cock is getting softer. It was still inside my body. I can also feel the sperm was coming out. I pushed him away. I got up and found my panties. I wiped the sperm with the panties.

I laid beside him. My head was on his left arm. His smell was so familiar. The room was still cold. Staying close to him kept my body warm. I hugged him and placed my left leg on his right leg. I hugged him tight. His right hand was feeling with my long hair. He kissed my forehead. I felt so warm.

His cock was soft now. It was wet. I can smell sperm and my smell on his cock. I looked at it. It was so ugly yet it was so cute. I had a urge to kiss and suck it. I didn't do it. He loved oral sex but I never like it.

"Do you want to kiss it?" I touched his soft cock.

"No." I protested.

"Just once. A quick kiss?"

I moved my head toward his cock. I looked at it one more time and looked at his eyes. I can feel the eagerness in his eyes. I kissed the tip of his cock.

"It smelled."

"Yes, it is your smell." He smiled.

I lifted it up with my left hand. I kissed it. I slowly put his soft cock inside my mouth. I still did not like it.

"Ahh." I got his encouragement.

It was still soft inside my mouth. I didn't think he was ready for the second round in such a short period of time. I took the cock out. I gave him a smile. I went on to kiss him on his mouth. I want him to taste what I just tasted.

"I need to go to washroom."

"The washroom is across from our bedroom."

"What is beside us?"

"That is Jim's room." That is the room behind our bed frame. He would have heard us if he was home.

"Where is Jim?"

"He won't be home until 9pm today."

"What is the time now?"

"Almost 8pm,"

"OK, I better go clean up before he comes back."

I am still naked. I walked quickly to the entrance. I opened up my luggage to get a towel.

"Can you please take the bag to our room?" I walked toward the bathroom.

The bathroom was very big. The shower area was covered with a semi transparent glass. I cannot believe the bathroom has marble floor. It was cold and slippery.

I looked at the mirror. My cheek was reddish. My breasts were firm. There were not big -- 34B. I am always proud with my body. I am also very satisfied with the wanted feeling from him just now. I smiled.

I took a long and warm shower. The temperature in the house was cold. Hot shower on my body was very relaxing. I must have taken at least 15 minutes of shower. Once out, I remembered I forgot to bring my cloth with me.

"Can you please bring me a night gown? It is in the bag outside." I opened a small door gap and yelled at Steve.

I did not hear his reply. A few seconds later I heard the noise of zipper opening the luggage. A minute or so later, I heard a knock. I opened the door to let Steve in. He did not come in. He thrown a nightgown into the toilet. He picked a pink nightgown. That was the sexiest I had. It was new. I bought it specifically for this trip.

"Can you pass me the bra. The bra is on the floor and get me a new panties" I ordered.

I put on the night gown. It looked so good on me. I can clearly see the nipples. I can see the nipples clearly. Steve will love it too so I thought.

A few minutes later Steve thrown my black bra and black panties inside the bathroom. I opened the bathroom wanting to show him the new gown. As I opened the door, I was in shock. It was not Steve. It is a young guy. He was probably as shock as I am. He looked at me in the eyes and then he looked at my breasts. That was brief but I caught it. He quickly turned around.

I quickly closed the door. I was blushed. I just put on a sexy gown for his housemate -- Jim. It took me a few seconds to settled myself. I quickly put on the black bra and panties Jim picked for me.

I opened the door slowly. No one was outside. Since the room was just across from the bedroom, I ran as fast as I could going into the room. I closed the door behind me. The room was still dark. Steve was sleeping. Naked.

I know exactly what had happened. Steve fell asleep and it was Jim who took me the night gown, my bra and panties. It was embarrassing.

I put on Steve's robe and walk outside. The young guy was sitting in the living room watching TV. When he saw me, he immediately got up from the sofa and said hi to me.

"Hi. You must be Pam. I am Jim. I live with Steve."

"Hi Jim."

"Sorry about just now. I did not know it's you."

"No problem. I am glad to help."

I felt his eyes wandered on my breasts again. Even though I had a robe on me, I still wrapped my arms in front of me. .

"I will catch you later. I'm tired." I said.

"Good night."

I took my bags and my belonging with me into the bedroom. I did not tell Steve what had happened. It was too embarrassing to tell. .

(4) Second embarrassing event

The next two weeks was pretty routine. Steve and Jim went to work together in the morning. They didn't usually come home together. Most of the time Jim came home after Steve. Jim and I did not talk much. Just the usual hi and bye.

There wasn't much to do here. I didn't know anyone besides Steve, Jim and a few of their friends. I started going to the pool downstairs to swim after lunch every day. The pool was pretty quiet during the day. The pool was not big but it was big enough for me to do laps.

Steve called one afternoon to let me know he and Jim will be late due to meeting. After dinner by myself, I took a long hot shower. It was pretty refreshing after the long hot shower. The mirror in the washroom was fogged up. I opened the door to let the hot air out. I was standing in front of the mirror looking at myself. That's just me. I would like to be as presentable as possible at all time.

The fog on the mirror was mostly gone. I closed the bathroom door.

I plugged the armpits hair. I like the clean feeling. Since I started doing this, I thought of shaving my pussy hair. I didn't shave regularly. I shaved occasionally whenever I felt like it. I wanted to shave because Steve likes it. I sat on the toilet. I applied Steve's shaving cream on my pussy hair and started shaving. It did not take long to shave the hair above pussy. The difficult part was the hair around pussy. I tried my best and I wasn't totally satisfied. I flushed the toilet. I stood up in front of the mirror. I lifted my left leg to the sink to check on the hair. I shaved a bit more until it was totally clean.

After the long stretch, my legs were tired. I sat on the counter when the sink was. I wanted to dry my hair with a hair blower. The hair blower was noisier but stronger than the one I had back home. Once my hair was dried, I jumped down from the counter. I must have stepped on the wet marble floor and fell. I landed myself on my left knee. It hurts so badly that I screamed. I laid on the floor facing down. I couldn't move.

All in a sudden the washroom door opened. I did not lock it.

"Are you OK?" Jim asked.

"Ah." I screamed. This time it was not about the pain on my left knee. It was because I was shocked knowing Jim was seeing me naked back.

"Yes, I am OK."

"Let me get you up."

Without asking for the permission, his hands held on my both arms slowly lifting me. My leg was still in pain. I slowly got up with all of my weight on my right leg. I was still back to him with me facing the shower stall. I looked up in front of me, I can clearly see the vague reflection of me on the semi transparent glass shower wall. I knew he could see what I saw. Although it was not as clear as mirror, but my naked body was shown on the reflection.

Once I balanced myself, he removed his hands from me. My cotton night gown and panties were on the hook behind the bathroom door. I did not want to turn around to get them to further expose my naked body to him.

"Can you pass me my cloth. They are behind the door."

"Sure."

He passed me the panties first. I wished that he passed me the robe. I could have asked him to pass me the robe now but I just did not want him to hold on to my panties any longer. I took it with my right hand. As I turned, I caught him looking at me through the mirror. My right breast must have fully exposed in front of his eyes. I just wanted to get out of this awkward situation as fast as possible. With my weight leaning toward the wall left to me, I started putting on the panties. I bent down my upper body to put the panties. I first lifted my left leg followed by my right leg. The left leg was easy.

When I shifted my weight to my left leg, my knee hurt. He must have sensed it or saw my face emotion through the shower glass wall. His both hands grabbed on my side body, just inches away from my breasts. At this point, I did not care how much he saw, I just wanted to put on the panties and robe as quickly as possible.

The more faster I tried, the more difficult to put on the panties. I almost fell when trying to lift my right leg again. All of my weight was on his hands.

"You sit on the toilet."

I had no choice. It would be easier to put the panties on while I sat on the toilet. However, he will see me naked in a short range. Without waiting for my answer, he lifted my body and placed me on the toilet. I sat down facing him. I caught him watching my body again. Who wouldn't, I thought.

His face was red too. I didn't know if it was due to lack of fresh air in the bathroom or due to seeing me naked. He saw me naked. He may even see my shaved pussy.

He must have sensed my displeasure in my facial expression. He turned around to grab my bath robe. He covered his face with the bathrobe. I guess he was giving me the assurance that he was not looking.

With my black panties on my left knee, I lifted my right leg to put the panties on. Now the panties were hanging on both of my knees. "Can you help me?" I needed help to get up to lift the panties up.

He dropped the bathrobe to the floor. He was like a few inches away from me. I raised my hands to give him a signal I need him to lift my body up. He complied. His both hands again was on my side body inches away from my breasts. The only difference now was he was looking at my breasts.

Once I stood up with most of my weight on my right leg, I quickly pull the panties up. I looked at him one more time, his face was really red. I can see that he was trying hard to avoid looking at my body. I can even see sweat on his forehead. He must be embarrassing too. At least that's what I thought of him. That made me feel better.

He paused for a few seconds and then immediately passed me the bathrobe which was sitting on the floor. While he bent down to reach my bathrobe with his left hand, his face was inches away from my panties. His right hand was still supporting my weight even though I did not put any weight on him.

He helped me wearing the bathrobe. Once I'm fully cloth, I looked at him. He looked relief. I laughed. He laughed too.

"Thanks!" I said.

"No thanks." He replied.

We both laughed again.

"Is Steve home?" I just got my senses back.

"No. He should be back in another hour. He has another meeting to attend."

"Don't tell Steve what happen tonight."

"I won't." He laughed again. "He missed a sexy lady falling in the bathroom doing yoga."

His eyes briefly stopped on my breasts and then down to my lower body. I felt a lot safer now because of the bathrobe.

"Yaya." I give him a dirty look.

"Are you OK now?"

"I am OK.".

"Let's get you out of here."

I wrapped my left arm around his shoulder as he helped me getting to the living room. Once he sat me down on the sofa, he went to the freezer to get me some ice. He bagged the ice in a plastic bag. He lifted my left to the coffee table and placed the plastic bag of ice on my knee.

"Relax."

My bathrobe was a knee length one. When I sat down, my knee were fully exposed. When he lifted my left leg, from his angle, he could see my panties. I did not bother to cover it. He had seen me naked. I laid back on the sofa.