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Author's Note: Any and all persons engaging in any sexual activity are at least eighteen years of age.
Disclaimers: This story has been edited by myself, utilizing Microsoft Spell-Check. You have been forewarned; expect to find mistakes.
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Elijah Clark was a minister of the fire and brimstone variety. While the War of Northern Aggression waged all around, Elijah jumped, whooped and hollered about the evils of alcohol and tobacco. Every Sunday, his small church was packed, mostly with the wives and children of the brave soldiers of the Confederacy.
After his Sunday Services, Elijah would bring comfort to one or two of the lonely wives of those brave men, the brave soldiers that were fighting and dying for their families. Even as he labored to bring satisfaction and fulfillment to these women, sometimes the very ground would shudder and shake as battles were waged just miles away from the simple structure that Reverend Clark called home.
When Thomas Bloutchen, a lieutenant of the West Arkansas Calvary arrived home after the surrender of Robert E. Lee and discovered his wife suckling a beautiful baby daughter, he was understandably upset. Thomas had not seen his beloved Abigail in three long, arduous years; this little child could not possibly be his.
Elijah Clark looked up as a tired, filthy officer of the Confederacy entered his church. He rose to his feet to greet the stranger. The man looked at Elijah with lifeless eyes.
"Reverend, I am Thomas Bloutchen," the man stated. "Lieutenant Thomas Bloutchen."
"Sir, welcome home," Elijah said, slightly unnerved by the man's eyes.
"And, I am given to understand that you've provided comfort to my beloved Abigail while I fought to quell the Union," Thomas stated, voice flat.
"I, hmm, Abigail?" Elijah stammered, now realizing the purpose of the man's visit.
"Sir, I have seen far too much bloodshed," Thomas sighed. "I have seen the damage cannon and rifle and even bayonet and sword can inflict upon the human body, the human sol. In truth, I have had my fill of bloodshed."
"Praise be to Jesus Christ," Elijah murmured, relieved.
"However, I shall allow witness to once more spilling the blood of an aggressor, an enemy," Thomas stated, swiftly slashing out with his sword and decapitating the supposed Man of God.
The true nature of Reverend Elijah David Clark was diluted by time and the recounting of his exploits. The county was named Clarkston in honor of the man that preached the Gospel, bravely standing for the side of right and God even as his church was rocked and shaken by enemy mortar landing nearby.
Bloutchen County was named in honor of the seventeen Bloutchen men that formed the core of the West Arkansas Calvary. The Bloutchen men, brothers, cousins, fathers and uncles banded together, urging others to join with them. Of the seventeen Bloutchen soldiers and officers that had fought valiantly, Thomas was the only Bloutchen to return.
In time, he did forgive his wife her one sole indiscretion. After all, she claimed it was during a time that they had just found out that Jonathon, Paul, and Charles Bloutchen had perished; she was sure Thomas had perished as well, fighting beside his brothers.
"It was just that one time," Abigail assured her husband. "I sobbed mightily, sure that I should never see you again. He did put his arms about me, to comfort me and then...well, to say I was truly horrified; why, I even thought to take my own life!"
But as Abigail and the other wives of the Confederacy labored to maintain the small cemetery where the bodies of their fallen husbands, fathers and brothers lie in hopes of the resurrection, Abigail would often steal glimpses of the headstone for Reverend Elijah David Clark. She would long for the many hours she'd spent in the good man's bed. She would long for the many hours she'd used her mouth upon Eli's fat manhood when her cleft and bunghole were far too sore to allow him access to those holes.
With mild annoyance, Abigail would notice that she was not the only woman that did cast longing glances at the small, modest headstone. More than one woman would unconsciously clamp her thighs together, face flushed with the memories of an afternoon or three in the bed chambers of Reverend Eli.
Delilah Catherine Bloutchen was the only child born to Thomas and Abigail Bloutchen. She was doted upon by her mother and thoroughly despised by her father. In time, she married Little John Bloutchen, the eldest son of Jonathon Alvers Bloutchen, Jr. the eldest son of Jonathon Alvers Bloutchen, the patriarch of the Bloutchen family.
Delilah bore three sons and one daughter for Little John. Then, after his accidental death from a tree falling on him, Delilah married Daniel Bloutchen, the only son of Paul Bloutchen. She bore two daughters and one son for Daniel.
(In truth, Delilah did wonder at the demise of her first husband. After all, Little John was an experienced tree cutter and certainly would have known to stand behind the tree after the second cross cut was completed.)
World War one, the War to end all wars created a few more Bloutchen widows. WWII came along and more Bloutchen men went to war and more Bloutchen widows were created. Some of these women married other men from the Clarkston and Bloutchen counties; some even moved away from Arkansas altogether.
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Stan Spuntzin, son of Ronald Spuntzin and Deborah Spuntzin nee Bloutchen had been a prisoner of the Imperial Japanese Army. A once vibrant, hale and hearty young man returned to Scribeltz, Arkansas a broken shell of a man. Shuffling off of the bus, Stan looked around at Scribeltz, which was little more than gravel roads and soybean fields. He stared, uncomprehending as Darlene Miller clung to him, sobbing her little broken heart out.
In 1947, with some help from Johnny Miller, Darlene's Daddy, Stan and Darlene opened a general store and gas station at the corner of Holly and Vines inScribeltz, Arkansas. Adding a lunch counter drew in some farmers, some field laborers; Darlene was a good cook and the meals were generous and filling. A local dairy put in an electric cooler for milk and cheese, eggs and butter. Buying a second electric cooler, Stan put in some soft drinks; beer and other intoxicating beverages were illegal in Clarkston and Bloutchen Counties.
In the United States Army, Stan had been a cook. Referring to his knowledge, Stan baked breads and other pastries for them to sell along with the milk and eggs and some local vegetables.
He also utilized some other skills he'd learned while in the inhospitable jungle encampment. With a wink and a nod, followed by a furtive glance around, a nickel would get a thirsty farmer a bottle of Stan's sorghum home brew. The ice wagon came by every morning, so by lunchtime, those bottles of sorghum beer would be just as cold as the ice they were packed in.
Darlene and Stan welcomed Ronald 'Ronnie' Johnathon Spuntzin to their family in April of 1949. Caring for his son seemed to rejuvenate the broken man; Ronnie became a regular behind the counter at his father's store. Caring for an infant, then a precocious, inquisitive toddler seemed to breathe some vitality into Stan's very soul.
"I get big, I'm be just like you, Pop," Ronnie would say, patting his father on the shoulder as he sat on the counter of the store.
"Well, first thing you need to do is learn how to potty like a man," Darlene would say.
When the act of going potty like a big boy was mastered, Darlene would find new goals that would ensure that Ronnie did grow up to be a man like his father.
From time to time, the sheriff of Clarkston County would storm in, trying to confiscate all of the bottles of beer and arrest Stan Spuntzin for the manufacture and sales of intoxicating beverages. With a smirk, Stan would show the good man that Spuntzin General Store was in Bloutchen County. Therefore, Sheriff Simpson had no jurisdiction in the store.
When Sheriff Duplantis would attempt a raid, he would be shown that the general store was in Clarkston County; out of the reach of Sheriff Duplantis. With grumbles and curses, the man would stomp out of the store, vowing to one day bring an end to the illegal sale of alcohol.
"You know, one these days, them two going get together and raid you at the same time," Darlene would chuckle as they would clean up after the overzealous lawman. "What you going do then?"
"Never happen," Stan would smile. "See, first thing them two would have to do is talk with one another. And because of Polly May? That ain't never going happen."
"Polly...never could figure what them two seen in her," Darlene shook her head. "Girl's so homely she needs sneak up on a mirror brush her hair."
"Don't think neither one seen her face," Stan said, cupping his hands far out in front of his chest.
"What? Them titties? I got bigger titties than her," Darlene scoffed.
"You do not!" Stan said, locking the door of the store.
"What? Stanley Ronald Spuntzin, I most certainly do," Darlene protested.
"You do? Prove it," Stan challenged, shutting off the majority of the electric lights.
"You get me in the family way, I'm take it out on your hide, you hear?" Darlene giggled, pulling her dress up and off.
"Well I'll be damned! You do got some titties there. Here, let me count them; you supposed have two of them, right?" Stan said, grasping his wife's breasts.
When Ronnie went to Thomas Jefferson Elementary school, the school bus pulled up right in front of the Spuntzin General Store. Ronnie, his cousin Darren, and Francine Wilson, Polly May's daughter would climb the steps and Darren and Ronnie would try to get away from Francine; she had cooties. More than once, the little red head made Darren cry when she would kiss him. More than once, Ronnie made Francine cry when he would pinch her on her butt for kissing him. Then Mr. Taft, the bus driver would yell and threaten to put any combination of Francine, Ronnie, and Darren off of the buss.
"You know, one day? You going wish that little Francine Wilson would kiss you," Darlene lightly teased her handsome son.
"What? You got bats in the belfry?" Ronnie accused.
"Hey!" Stan said, delivering a not so gentle swat to his son's backside. "Do not talk to your mother like that."
"But, but, she said..." Ronnie whined, rubbing his smarting backside.