Our Epiphany Our Mission

The ecstasy and agony of a modern marriage

Today

Life had been good to Owen Anderson. At a young-looking 49, he was Managing Director of the Chicago office of Morgan Weinstein & Cie. Since graduating with honors from Ohio's Denison University, followed by an MBA in finance from the University of Chicago, his business career had been one of continual achievement. Concentrating on structuring high-tech IPO's in the halcyon days of the 90's, he was one of the few not seduced by the dot com craze before that bubble burst. In the new millennium, his focus was on developing and maintaining the senior relationships so vital in brokering corporate acquisitions by the firm.

During his 26 years with Morgan, Owen had generated many millions in fees for the firm to spread among its partners. A one-company man since his business school graduation, his loyalty was unquestioned and he had every intention of remaining with the firm for his entire career. His many contributions had not gone unrewarded. His net worth topped one million dollars by his thirtieth birthday and that had multiplied many times over the next two decades. He looked forward with relish to a comfortable retirement of relaxation and travel in five or six more years.

But on this warm day in mid May, his thoughts were only two weeks ahead. He and Barbara, his beloved wife of 23 years, would be back at Denison for the graduation of their only child, Julia. Tall Julia, with her sandy hair and blue eyes. They loved her more than life itself. How the three would enjoy the celebration of her last college days! How they were looking forward to seeing her many school friends and their parents again!

The company car pulled to the curb at the Anderson town home on Beldon Place, that quiet near north side enclave just minutes from the snarled traffic of Michigan Avenue and Lake Shore Drive. "Thanks, Charles and don't forget to get something at Toys R Us for your grandson's birthday tomorrow," he said as the driver opened the limousine's door and accepted the twenty-dollar bill surreptitiously passed to him by his employer. "Thanks Mr. Anderson. And don't worry, my wife and I can't forget his birthday. The whole family is getting together for the party. Good night, sir." "Good night Charles. See you in the morning," Owen answered as he strode up the stairs to the second floor entrance of their century-old brownstone.

"Hi darling," Barbara smiled with the elation she always felt when her husband returned from another day in the jungle of those damn financial markets.

"We have a hundred things to do before Julia's graduation. I made a list to go over with you after dinner to make sure I haven't missed anything. I'm so excited I already have to go to the bathroom every thirty minutes and the big day is still two weeks off! And I know you're not as cool as you look ...you're as anxious as I am to see her in cap and gown! C'mon now, admit it!" As always, Barbara's enthusiasm was infectious and he confessed his own excitement with a smile.

The Early Years

Owen had been as successful in love as in business.

His first date as a Denison freshman 31 years ago was with Barbara. In truth, it wasn't really a date. As a planned mixer between that year's Kappa Sig pledge class and the pledges from Alpha Phi sorority, it was heavily chaperoned and nothing more that a Sunday afternoon get together at the sorority house. The late September weather was glorious and the hilly countryside of Licking County was alive with the full reds of an Ohio autumn.

Barbara and Owen were just two of the group but their attraction was mutual and immediate, Just emerging from a rather late maturation, Barb was still carrying twenty more pounds of adolescent weight than most of her new classmates and at just over five feet, that led to a small sense of insecurity. She was very conscious of both her 130 pounds and her horn-rimmed glasses, which were somewhat out of style and old fashioned. At 18 years of age, the personal poise she would know in the future was lacking. She was sure she was going to be the proverbial wallflower at this event and at all the rest of the school's socials for the coming year. Her full auburn hair flowed to her shoulders in a manner that lacked the sophisticated styling of her later life. Her deep auburn hair and brown eyes complimented her soft olive complexion, which was darker than most of her pledge mates. In total, and despite her totally German ethnicity, Barbara resembled a woman of the Mediterranean. Indeed, in later years, she was occasionally mistaken for being of Italian or even Greek origin. In contrast, Owen was tall and thin. His Scandinavian heritage was clearly evident in his blue eyes, light sandy hair and fair complexion.

Each of the students was invited to introduce themselves, their hometown, a bit of their background and personal interests. No one was asked about their planned major because in this small liberal arts college, it was assumed that at least two years would go by before an academic focus would be decided upon. Certainly neither Owen nor Barbara had dedicated themselves to any course of study. Both were content to let their first year be filled with the college's core courses that were required of all students.

In later years, Owen often thought back to his carefree freshman days. Academics had always come easy and he earned top marks in all subjects with a minimum of study. The fraternity was pleased that he produced many A's to boost the house's academic average and he had more than ample time to go out for varsity lacrosse. A major sport on the east coast, lacrosse was virtually unknown in his suburban Chicago hometown. While he practiced hard to learn the skill of the sport, he never progressed beyond being a rather bumbling substitute at midfield.

He was not a party animal but regularly attended all of the fraternity's social events. Little realized by him at the time, the disciplined life style that was to mark his later business career was becoming visible. By his third year, Owen's ambition and his desire for financial success led him into a business curriculum. Again, his talents were quickly visible and he graduated from Denison cum laude with a Phi Beta Kappa key as a keepsake.

Introspective and serious in most matters, Barbara was a bit of a bookworm. Not that she lacked native intelligence but her learning process was more dependent on rote that Owen's and she spent many more hours than he ever did studying in her dorm room.

Their introduction at the freshman mixer really didn't expand into anything that could remotely be described as a romance until their junior year. They did double and triple date a few times during their first two years at college, often ending up at raucous fraternity beer busts at Jimmy Rizzo's sleazy Broadway Niteclub on the road to Newark. They also dated once in her hometown of Perrysburg during their sophomore spring break while he was visiting the nearby Toledo home of his Kappa Sig brother and close friend Carl Gebhardt. Always interested in meeting their daughter's classmates, Barb's parents invited him to Sunday brunch at their Heather Downs Golf Club. The introduction went well and it was quite obvious they approved of him as a friend of their daughter, if not something more significant in the future. In short, Barb and Owen were college buddies, nothing more. Both had an equal number or more dates with other classmates.

By her junior year Barbara had blossomed. With a conscious effort to concentrate on a healthy diet and exercise, she had slimmed to less than 110 pounds, which was perfect for her small body. Because Denison students were not permitted to have cars on campus until their senior year, and because the campus was perched on a series of sharp hills, everyone became fit from nothing more than trudging to their daily classes. This was true of Barb. Not voluptuous, her legs became well shaped and her stomach flat. She fretted that her 34 bust was a bit less than ideal but that did nothing to flaw the physical beauty that she began to project. She experimented with many hairstyles, from an overly short gamin cut to pageboys before finally settling on a lightly curled short style that perfectly haloed her somewhat oval face. Her large brown eyes were her most striking feature and she learned to emphasize them with a touch of liner well applied. She discarded her heavy glasses in favor of contact lens. It was her dark eyes that attracted the attention of everyone. Sparkling with a total joy of life, they mirrored her every emotion and mesmerized Owen. As their friendship grew into affection, Barb and Owen became an acknowledged twosome to their classmates.

At the beginning of their senior year, Owen went through the ancient college ritual of giving her his fraternity pin with its crescent and star design and they pledged to date no one else for the balance of the year. Barbara had chosen psychology as her college major, an ill-defined curriculum that didn't offer much of a career path but wasn't intellectually challenging. By Christmas, she had dedicated herself to Owen and was more interested in preparing herself as his life mate than academic attainment. Still, her inherent intelligence earned her the same cum laude and Phi Beta Kappa recognitions he received upon graduation.

Starting that year, the hormonal exuberance of youth expressed itself. From affectionate hugs at fraternity parties, soft and hard kisses led to experimental petting. Their inexperience showed as they awkwardly displayed their fondness for each other. Both were technically still virgins, although Owen had twice enjoyed thirty seconds of bliss as twenty-dollar prostitutes in nearby Newark mouthed him to teenage paradise.

They secretly conspired to return to school early following the year's Christmas break. In Barb's empty dorm room on the Saturday preceding the start of the second semester, they had a "tell all" session of past romances. Barbara laughingly confessed to kissing her classmate Billy Bedoe in the fourth grade. "God, little Billy was so cute and so shy. I kept picking flowers from my Mom's garden to give him ... what a waste he's made of his life," Barbara sighed since it was common knowledge in Perrysburg that shy little Billy Bedoe had morphed into a raving homosexual predator. Giggling, she added, "I hope my kisses won't turn you into one too!"

More seriously, she went on to describe two incidents in high school. The first was when that jerk Alvin Best passed the point of no return in his car and roughly grabbed her breast without warning. "Gosh, we were right in front of my house which sure wasn't smart on Alvie's part. One scream from me and Dad would have come storming out with fire in his eyes," she smiled. "There's a warning there for you, Owen," she teased, "whatever you do to me, don't do it near my father! He's overly protective. He really is. It's stifling!"

Her second experience with Alvin shamed her.

Despite her better judgment she had somehow warmed toward Alvie as the handsome football star during their senior year of high school. One night, parked car kisses encouraged him to open his trousers and expose his erected penis. In the dim light, it bobbed with youthful energy. "Look Barb, see what you've done to me," he whispered. "Feel it. Feel how hard it is." With a gentleness that was not like his usual brashness, he reached for Barbara's wrist and moved her hand to his column. Not without hormones, Barb watched as he skinned back the foreskin of his uncircumcised erection to expose its glistening dark head. Without thinking, she extended her fingers and circled the shaft while he slowly started to move her wrist up and down. Together, they masturbated him to climax in less than a minute. With a thrust of his hips and a quiet moan, warm semen leapt onto his chest and streamed over her fingers. Staring at the deposit in her hand and seeing his smug smile of conquest, Barb felt nauseous. That was that and neither said another word as he started the car and drove her home. "Good night Alvin. I'll never do that again," she said as she slammed the car door and stalked back into her comfortable safe world. From that moment, Alvie was erased from Barbara's life and thoughts. Years later, she heard from a hometown girl friend that he had taken a job in the local post office immediately after high school. A year later he had been caught stealing checks from the mail and served an eight-month sentence as a first time offender in the federal penitentiary near Columbus. Nothing more was ever heard of the amorous Mr. Best.

Even though his sexual exploits were nothing to boast about, Owen started to snicker over her experiences with Alvie but quickly muffled himself when she frowned and said it wasn't funny then and it's not funny now. Mentally, she kicked herself and wished she had thought of some imaginary but more scintillating escapades to impress him.

That snowy January evening in Barbara's dorm room marked their first intimacy. Freely giving herself, she had gone to the adjoining bathroom to brush out the hair that Owen's kisses had mussed. Looking into the mirror, her eyes told her it was time. Quickly stripping before she could change her mind, she put on a terry cloth robe embroidered with her initials. Not at all seductive, it was the only covering available. No one was more surprised than Owen when she returned and quietly said, "I love you more than I love life. I want you to love me as a man." It was a memory that would remain fresh in their minds forever. In later years, Barbara often repeated the same words as the mantra that helped keep their love fresh over three decades.

Holding her breath in the hope she would please him, she silently opened the robe and dropped it to the floor. She stood deathly still, eyes closed, head high, hands at her side. Her delicate small breasts thrust forward. Surrounded by deep rose areolas, the swollen centers of her large nipples screamed for his caress. Her stomach was taut. Her hips flared outward and her thighs tapered gracefully. Her vulva was shielded with a rich thatch of dark hair. She was magnificent.

There was no hesitation. There was no shyness. They loved. They shared themselves. She opened herself and he filled her. Their first coupling was awkward and only he climaxed. The second was more relaxed and she grimaced with open eyes and teeth bared. His face filled her vision as she approached her moment of

petite mort.

In her orgasm, she inhaled with a hiss through clenched teeth, a sound he later came to know well.

They explored their bodies. They caressed. They kissed. They combed their fingers through each other's hair and held their heads back smiling. Barbara's deep sensual eyes teared with the depth of her new sensations. Owen teased her firm nipples between his lips and kissed downward toward the scent of her splayed vagina and its halo of soft hair glistening with moisture. Deeply, he orally pleasured her to a shuddering orgasm, again with a sharp hiss. They slept. In the morning, their joining was tender, perfectly suited to the soft early light. They slept again.

The next week Barbara visited a gynecologist twenty miles away to be fitted for a diaphragm. Pregnancy did not result from their unprotected first union.

Life was idyllic. College graduation came and went. Meeting at the ceremonies for the first time, their four parents gravitated to each other with ease. In their own pillow talk the following week, both sets of parents agreed they had met their future daughter-in-law and son-in-law. They were correct.

The Middle Years

Well before college graduation, Owen had decided to invest in a postgraduate business education. With his excellent undergraduate record, full or partial scholarships were available to him from several prestige schools. Choosing the University of Chicago over other offers, his future looked bright.

Owen went on to his studies in Chicago and Barbara returned to Perrysburg to join the local public school system as a probationary junior high guidance counselor. Only 185 miles apart, they saw and loved each other often.

After his business school graduation and employment at Morgan & Weinstein two years later, they were engaged. Barb moved to Chicago and they settled into their first home, a small apartment in a renovated brownstone on Sedgwick Street, four blocks from Lincoln Park. Just starting at Morgan Weinstein, Owen's salary was stretched tight to meet living expenses and the rent this upscale neighborhood commanded. To supplement his income, Barb took a clerical job reviewing residential title searches in the loop office of Chicago Title Company. Not surprisingly, she was very good at her mundane task and the salary she drew following promotion as assistant to the department manager six months later exceeded his.

The firm quickly recognized Owen's skill in structuring innovative junk bond offerings and a series of increasingly responsible mid management assignments soon came his way. With two years of double incomes, their finances improved considerably.

With deepening adoration, they agreed there was no reason to delay marriage. Neither felt a need to pledge fidelity. Their love was so deep that fidelity was assumed and neither ever gave the other cause to question their faithfulness. Of course, they both flirted outrageously with friends at private parties and afterwards compared notes on who said what to whom. They left their flirtative nature at home for all of Morgan's social events, which, in reality, were staid company affairs void of the opportunities with neglected executive wives that young employees dream of.

Theirs was a traditional June wedding in Barbara's Presbyterian Church in Perrysburg followed by her parents' reception at Heather Downs that they both felt was a bit ostentatious. Well over 100 guests attended, many of whom were Barbara's high school friends. Twenty or more of their Denison classmates also made it and they endured the boasts of unbridled professional success by the men and claims of social triumphs by the girls. At one point, Barb leaned to Owen and whispered "What crap ... don't you dare make one mention of our life in Chicago." He didn't and many of the guys thought he must be flipping burgers for a living. Well maybe not flipping burgers, but it doesn't look like Owen is very proud of his accomplishments since college.

Owen's best friend throughout college was Carl Gebhardt and there wasn't a second's thought about who would be his best man. Carl had gone from pre med at Denison to dental school at Northwestern University in downtown Chicago while Owen was at the U of C on the south side. They frequently met for a beer or two to gossip, bet on sports and keep current on mutual friends. Graduating near the top of his class, Carl was invited to join a top-flight dental practice in Lake Forest on the Gold Coast 20 miles north of the city. Barbara often joined them to make a foursome when Carl added a new girlfriend to his considerable stable of models and other assorted morsels. "That guy is going to screw himself into senility," Owen predicted to Barb as he enviously fantasized over unending orgies with bevies of naked nymphets in Carl's Lake Forest bachelor pad.

Carl's dark hair, eyes and complexion were similar to Barbara's Mediterranean appearance and they occasionally laughed over this as both were of pure Teutonic lineage. Carl once opined that "Someone in the old country must have jumped over the ghetto wall one night in both of our cases," and that was the birth of a family fable for the young Andersons. It was true that Barbara and Carl had a certain physical resemblance, not as close as brother and sister but perhaps cousins. Owen, on the other hand, was slimmer and taller than Carl with sandy hair, blue eyes and the fair complexion that matched his Nordic ancestors.