Orange

The idea for this was spurred by the

Zach Bryan

songs, "Something in the Orange" and "I Remember Everything." Songwriting is quite different than what authors do here, or in novels, although I suspect the compulsion with 750-word projects feeds the same need: saying the most with the least number of words.

Both song's lyrics are brilliantly written and what isn't said perfectly fills the spaces between what is. I attempted to do the same in this piece; you'll be the judge of that. While listening to the songs isn't necessary to understand the story, I'd strongly recommend you give it a go before or after the story; that's up to you. Doing so will either enhance your reading experience or increase your comprehension.

A huge thanks to

Strikesandballs

for his suggestions and editing. He always makes me look good and helps the version all of you get to experience, shine like a new car!

[Copyright 2024; all rights reserved]

Relax; it's just a story, people.

Why I continue to torment myself is beyond me. Not really, it was that bitch, Misty.

Misty, that bitch whom I loved.

Maybe I was just more reflective at this time of day - sunrise. I hadn't always been like this. I could watch either a sunset or a sunrise and miss the other. Those were the days I slept normally, before...

I'm getting ahead of myself. I met Misty in the ninth grade. We quickly became friends because we had three classes together. Also, she seemed attracted to my 'bad boy' image, and truly, that's all it was. I brought a flask to school filled with whiskey and occasionally cut class but that didn't make me James Dean. I blame all that on my family and my upbringing.

The thing I liked most about Misty, always had, was her earnest and honest way. She had a carefree sincerity that drew people in. She even watched out for her kid sister, Angie, which was commendable. She also would not hang out with fake folk, which meant she had few girlfriends at school. Her way of working around the hierarchy was to simply avoid it. If one of the popular girls decided to try and bully Misty, that girl got bad shit done to her. Misty always seemed to be elsewhere when those things happened too. Her timing was uncanny.

Jed Carruthers went to our high school, even though he wasn't supposed to. Their home was a town over from us but like many towns in the south, our West Texas high school needed a quarterback. Jed was recruited on the down low. He started while I played tight end or safety - off the bench. That never bothered me because Jed was pretty damned good and I wasn't.

I blame that on my parents, too. My father jumped and left us when I was three, at least that's what mom told me. I found out later in life, from an uncle in Aberdeen, that dear ole dad got taken to the ditch by some coyotes of the human variety. Pops got involved with drugs and got jammed up. They made him pay his debt by being a runner. Those were the days of coyote gangs, before the 'war on drugs' and organized cartels. Those bastards didn't telegraph or broadcast their kills. You fucked up, you went to the ditch, end of story.

Mom didn't fare much better. She got drunk one night during the summer between my freshman and sophomore years and played chicken with a tree two blocks over and one down from our house. I ended up with my aunt, Mother's sister, and uncle. I missed her a lot because we used to talk about everything. I was a mama's boy, looking back.

Mom taught me about women, their emotions, their insecurities, and what made them happy... and I loved her for that. After she died, it dawned on me that while I was pretty far ahead of other guys my age when it came to the intricacies of women, I didn't know shit as far as men go. That's when I decided to join the Navy.

Misty and I gave each other our virginities earlier that February when she turned eighteen. I was four months older than Misty. She was the one who wanted to wait, for what reason I didn't know. I think she was afraid of her parents - like petrified. Her father had a bad temper. Sometimes, he'd cuss and scream at me for no reason when I'd go to pick up Misty.

Our first big speedbump occurred in the week of our senior prom. Jed Carruthers had asked her to the prom, even though the entire school knew Misty and I were an item. Misty stood her ground and informed me about politely declining Jed's almost daily invite but she was also on me for not formally asking her. That sort of pissed me off. As far along into the relationship as we were, I didn't feel the need. It should have gone without saying.

Things were going great at the prom until Jed came over to our table and asked Misty to dance while doing everything possible to pretend like I didn't exist. In that short span of time, my mind had already painted a picture of Misty scorning him and scolding his lack of manners. That didn't happen. She stood up without so much as a glance in my direction and headed off to the dance floor. I was fuming mad but it got worse as she stayed out there with him for two fast songs and a slow one, during which Misty seemed to allow him to get inappropriate with his hands. She was also dancing way too close. I'd seen enough.

"That's enough," I stated brashly while tapping Carruthers on the shoulder. "Cutting in."

"What's wrong, Simpson," he almost cackled like a little girl, with his sickening smirk, as though he couldn't get over himself. "Jealous?"

"Actually," I cleared my throat, "I was just being polite. Looks like your date just stepped outside with Aaron and Glenn from the basketball team. Probably to smoke some weed. You didn't leave your car unlocked, did you?"

Jed's face changed immediately. I don't think he believed me, but he was trapped in a damned if you do, damned if you don't scenario.

No words were needed in the following seconds. Misty knew exactly what she'd done wrong. I wasn't going to embarrass her or me right there on the dance floor, so I reached out to resume the dance. She let out a bunch of nervous air and placed her head between my collar and jaw, wrapping her arms up and over my shoulders.

The rest of the night did not go great. Jed never came back around to our table but I hadn't expected him to. He'd already done the damage he'd set out to cause. The ride home was tense and quiet. Neither Misty nor I were used to that so there was nervousness and a fair bit of anxiety. When we pulled up in front of Misty's house, I put it in park and just looked at her. She did the same but either couldn't or wouldn't say anything.

"Good night, Misty," I said as I broke eye contact and put my hand on the gearshift. With a sniffle, she exited the car.

Just a few short weeks later, Misty, I, and our class graduated. I'd kept her at arm's length since the prom, and she started getting upset, playing that silly game girls play of 'I'll show you.' I hadn't ghosted her; I just didn't go hang out with her like we always did. Since I wouldn't commit to anything about graduation or, any after-parties, she stopped talking to me altogether. I'm pretty sure that worked against her. Or me.

I was clearing out my locker on the last day of school when Misty approached. She looked like a lady on a mission.

"Are you ever planning to call me?" she half-shouted, half cried.

"Why?" I asked without looking at her, staying on task. "Why do you care?"

"Jesus," she replied in astonishment, "You're kidding, right? Are you my friend or not?"

"I always thought I was, until the prom," I answered nonchalantly.

"That's what this is about?" she looked incredulous but it seemed more of an act. She was worried. "Damn, Darin. Are you still pissed because I danced with Jed?"

"Cut the shit, Misty," I growled. "You know I am. Quit playing games. Quit acting surprised. I know we never said we were exclusive but you're my closest friend, or at least that's how I felt. We shared our love for each other and gave something precious to each other. That prick didn't ask, he never even acknowledged me, and you went right down the same path. Put yourself in my shoes and tell me how humiliated you'd have been if I'd done the same thing to you."

Misty looked at the floor and swiped her foot across the hardwood like girls often do. She looked back at me, to find I was finally glaring into her eyes. "I'm sorry if I hurt you, Darin," she said, all of her bluster gone.

"Don't say it if you don't mean it," I scolded. "What are you sorry for?"

"For disrespecting you," she started, thinking. "for not getting your permission, well, not permission, but maybe I should have looked at you and hoped for acceptance."

"Well, you're on the right track," I could have kept at her. She was still off the mark but not by a lot. I just didn't want to waste our last few days arguing.

"I really am sorry, Darin," she repeated. "Can we go out tonight? I miss us and I'd like to try to make up for things."

"Well, what about Jed?" I asked raising an eyebrow

"That's over," she replied. "A couple of dances and he copped a feel. I told him what an ass he'd been in front of his buddies in the lunchroom the Monday after prom."

It was time for my own declaration, way too late. Misty knew I wanted to join the Navy but I never told her when. I guess she probably thought we had the summer.

"I can't Misty," she looked shocked and hurt. "We can go for pizza or a salad or something, but I have to get up very early. The recruiter is picking me up at six in the morning to take me for my Navy physical. If I pass, I'll be shipping off later in the week."

Misty's mouth hung open. I don't know why she looked scared. Then her expression changed in an instant.

"You heartless prick!" she said in a low tone. "You were going to sneak off and what, not tell me?" Misty held back a sob. I could tell she was hurt. It didn't feel as good as I thought it would, doing it like that.

She turned and walked away.

I passed my physical, then I sat discussing options with some other guy. I told him I wanted to learn things that I'd never been taught by my father. He suggested diesel and heavy machinery mechanics. It seemed a little drastic until he explained that I'd leave the navy having full knowledge of tools and machinery. I could even advance into something more specialized like welding.

The idea appealed to me enough, and it was better than mess cook, so I signed on the line.

Misty was sitting on my Aunt's front porch swing when I got home. She looked awful.

"Can we talk, Darin?" she asked in a tiny voice. I nodded.

Misty again apologized for dancing with Jed. She apologized for hurting my feelings, then told me she now understood how I'd felt. She held my hand and she cried. She'd thought we would have more of the summer together.

"I want you to have this," out of her pocket she pulled a necklace from which hung her grandmother's ring. "It's my promise to you. You're special to me, more than I knew, and I want to wait for you. I'm going to be your girlfriend while you're away, and I hope you'll feel the same way. I want us to be together when you get back."

Misty always had a knack for making me emotional. "I... I don't have anything," I stammered. "Any jewelry to give you in return."

Misty gave a half-smile. "Do you want me to wait for you? Darin, do you want to commit to me?" I nodded.

"Then give me your football jacket," she asked. "And whatever T-shirt you wear to bed tonight so I can sleep with it." I understood what she wanted.

We moved and sat out back watching the sunset and right there, we pledged ourselves to each other. Misty had more to say.

"Jed keeps after me," she told me a little hesitantly. "Since the prom."

"Have you guys done anything?" It was my turn to be hesitant, unsure if I wanted to know. "You know, kiss or anything?"

Misty looked me dead in the eye. "No, but he's made it clear he wants to. He tells me how much he likes me and how much I'll like him if I would just give him a chance."

"Is that why you want us to commit to each other?" I wanted to know.

"No," she said immediately. "I... well, I think I love you, like as in I'm 'in love' with you. I don't want either of us to get ahead of ourselves, so that's why I want to be your girlfriend while you're gone. It only helps me to get Jed to back off. He's quite persistent. I know he'll be relentless when he finds out that you're gone. This will help."

We made our promises and discussed how and when we could stay in touch. I didn't know much about that. I did tell her I'd be home after boot camp. She told me she was going to start looking for a job right away. We watched as the orange sky turned to blackness and kissed each other good night.

The navy agreed with me, or rather, we agreed with each other. Other than boot camp, I actually had fun. My first real gig was on a destroyer in the Mediterranean where I learned how to use impacts and other air tools, besides really big wrenches, and later learned how to weld.

On leave, Misty was my girlfriend. We spent almost every moment together but the time always seemed too short.

While I wasn't the smartest guy around, I wasn't born yesterday. Misty was beautiful. She'd already had Jed chasing her, which meant others would try their luck while I was gone. I was in it for a four-year haul, so I didn't expect complete faithfulness, even though 'going steady' was her idea. When you put too high a hope in someone, an unachievable expectation, you must accept disappointment, so I thought I was going into this with my eyes open, especially as it related to Jed.

The fact that Misty wanted to be known as my girlfriend, especially in my absence, spoke volumes to me. It felt like she wouldn't let Jed openly and publicly pursue her. It also told me that if she happened to slip with anyone, during my four years away, it would have to be done discreetly. Those thoughts were substantiated in my mind because she never mentioned being engaged or any other such promise of greater significance.

I appreciated Misty for that although I was still pissed about the prom. Knowing Jed, while I wanted to believe Misty could uphold her promises, he's a guy used to getting his way... in everything. His family was that way and they probably taught him from an early age. Being the star quarterback only validated what his family told him. She was looking after my heart, in a way, and at the same time, not over-extending or committing herself or us as a couple. However, she'd already rebuked Jed several times, probably even causing him a good deal of public shame. He wasn't going to give up. I could only hope that Misty would do the right thing. She solemnly promised she would. In return, that made me willing to allow minor indiscretions on her part, even though our pact was rooted in silence and mutual respect.

I also wasn't going to be a hypocrite. Of course, I partied with my shipmates in many a port. Although I only ever once spent the night having sex with a well-educated woman, I never turned down handjobs or blowjobs unless the lady looked like she might give me a little something, something that would later require penicillin.

I never asked Misty about other guys when I was home for a visit. We had too much to catch up on and I didn't think those questions would lead to anything productive for our future.

Misty had taken a part-time job at our local watering hole, The Bronco, a honky tonk with a live band most nights and a large dance floor. When she told me, I worried more about her. She was a beautiful woman and everyone in town knew it, including her.

All the fun, came to an end late into my third year in the service, during a shit-your-pants two hours, in the Sea of Sardinia, on a sunny Saturday morning.

Poorly stored barrels of fuel aboard our destroyer on the afterdeck ignited somehow, and it was literally all hands on deck as the fire continued to spread. Then the explosion came and that's when all hell broke loose.

I'd been about forty yards away from the blast point but my ears were still painfully ringing. My eyes saw sheer horror. Shipmates, awash in fuel, and on fire, screams that I could hear with my eyes but not my ears. I think I was crouched in a 'catcher's' position when I realized someone had ahold of my wrists. Then, I felt the hard slap.

"Move your ass, Seaman," the bloodied deck Lieutenant yelled. "That's an order!"

That's when I heard and saw the second explosion.

Seventy-six of one-hundred-ninety-eight of us went into the water that day. Forty-six survived the tragedy. Many of the survivors, including me, had some form of hearing damage. Even minimally or partially deaf humans don't make good sailors. Regardless of compensation, many of my shipmates were honorably discharged, just like me.

The worst part for me was the dreams. That's when I could sleep at all. The first week in the German military hospital was bad. Every time I got to REM sleep the horror began playing itself out in variations of what I'd witnessed in real life. The dreams tempered, and the frequency slowed by the time that I returned stateside.

I remained in Norfolk, under evaluation, for two months. I guess the Navy wanted to be sure I was alright before discharge, or just worthy of discharge. I'd have gone crazy over those two months if not for a fellow shipmate, Dan Wilkins. He'd been a Chief Petty Officer, promoted to Lieutenant JG. On the day of the disaster, he'd earned lieutenant commander stripes - literally - under fire.

Lieutenant Dan, as he was teased about mercilessly, did not lose any limbs in the accident. He did, however, receive third-degree burns to one side of his face and body in the process of saving crew members. Lt. Wilkins had a rosy outlook on life, and our conversations helped me put aside our ordeal's horrors.

The other person who helped keep me sane was Misty. I wrote to her first in Germany, and her return letter got there the day I flew back to Norfolk. My second letter probably confused her, but I was then able to talk to her from the phone in my room. My cell had been lost or destroyed in the incident and I hadn't been able to get a new one. The Navy took care of alerting my aunt and uncle. They were in the midst of making arrangements to come see me when I found out about my discharge.

Misty seemed very concerned about me, I mean overtly. She would usually start or end our conversations earnestly, maybe vigorously, asking me if I was truly all right.

Continually, I reassured her, but I felt it, too. Everything was different, I was different, and definitely not all right. What had happened that day had fundamentally changed me. What I told my assigned Navy therapist wasn't exactly true, either. I had so many thoughts and emotions swimming and competing in my head that I couldn't put a finger on the exact issue. That only led to more confusion and I started to become scared and anxious about going home.

One thing I determined; I would need Misty now more than ever.

Finally, I was released and headed home. Misty and my family met me at the airport. Misty cried, gut-sobbed actually, and held me for a long time. My uncle held my shoulders as he stared into my eyes and gave a perceptible nod in understanding.

I stayed with my aunt and uncle while continuing to recover. Misty was there every day with me. That was even with her working now full-time at Bronco's. She tried to get me to open up about my ordeal and I did to a small degree, because of her love for me. I held much more back though through sheer embarrassment on my part. I didn't want her to see me as less than - less than a man, less than a potential mate. I still felt terribly guilty for freezing like I did on the deck. I should have been helping to save my crewmates.