Opening Pandora's Box

The ride to Daytona to drop Eve off was quite as both Scott and Eve reflected on what had happened. Scott was seething with anger as he thought about Cheryl choosing to submit to Kirk in front of him. She had done what Kirk wanted even knowing how it was affecting him. Eve finally spoke up as they neared her house.

“I do not understand why you are so upset Scott. You two got into this so you could experience fantasies that you wanted but you seem to extend that only to yourself. As far as I know Cheryl has never had an issue with you and me dating. Do you think she is always comfortable with what you do? Why do you get so bothered by her living out her fantasy?”

“Because she is being paraded around like he owns her. She is still my wife. If she ever expressed an issue with me I would stop whatever it was that upset her. She should give me the same courtesy,” he replied angrily.

“Calm down,” she replied just as angrily. “I am not Cheryl and I will not put up with your shit. As much as I like you I will kick your ass to the curb and find someone else to play with.”

When they got to her house she opened her door and turned to him as he opened his. “Don’t bother,” she said. “I think you need to go home and wait for your wife. And don’t go back to the party you will just regret it.”

Slamming his car door he back out of the driveway and headed towards Interstate 95. Hitting the ramp he was doing 70 miles an hour by the time he merged onto the interstate fully intending to drop back by the party. When he came to the first exit into Saint Augustine he passed by it. Then he passed the next and continued on to Jacksonville pulling into their driveway a little after two.

He had hoped that Cheryl would be there but she was not. Walking into the empty house he sat his keys on the table. He sat on the couch and eventually dozed drifting in and out of sleep.

Just before nine on Sunday morning Scott’s cell phone wrung and woke him out of a fitful slumber. Looking at it he saw that is was Brian and he panicked briefly thinking something may have happened to Cheryl.

“Hello,” he said into the phone.

“Scott? Where are you? Maria and I have plans and you have not picked Cheryl up yet.”

Scott’s anger boiled to the top again, “I have no plans to pick her up. I told Kirk last night he could take his whore home with him.”

“Come on Scott. You have got to learn to take these things in stride. So she likes to be submissive. Part of the thrill for her is doing it in front of you. Let her have her fun.”

“Fuck you,” he said and threw the phone across the room.

********************

Two hours later Brian pulled into the driveway with Cheryl. She leaned over and gave him a kiss before getting out of the car and walking to the door. Brian waited until she was in before backing out of the driveway.

Cheryl did not see Scott and headed up to the bedroom to take a shower and crawl into the bed. She felt totally drained. Last night had been the most exciting of any since they had started this. Being paraded around by Kirk made her feel so slutty and she enjoyed being made to perform. When he made her go down on him with Scott standing there she almost came from the excitement. When Scott called her a whore she felt her pussy spasm and she came from hearing him degrade her.

Kirk had allowed two of his friends to use her last night and she felt like a total slut. She was troubled by that this morning but last night she had not hesitated at all. She could not understand why she got off on such demeaning sex. It confused her but she knew that given the chance she would allow Kirk to do what he did last night and more. He had hinted at taking her to Tampa to a club and the idea excited her.

She stood in the shower letting the hot water sooth her sore muscles and felt a little better as she dried off. She made it to the bed and crawled in and fell asleep.

*****************

She woke up late in the evening and laid thinking about where she and Scott were headed. She had no doubt that he would be ready for them to get out of the lifestyle at the very least assuming he wanted her back at all. She had really fucked up and now was on the verge of losing him. Was it worth it? Did she really want to be with Kirk and enjoy the sex bad enough to jeopardize her marriage? Despite everything she loved Scott and her kids. She had a perfect life. Was it worth throwing it all away just to have the extreme sex she enjoyed?

As she laid there it occurred to her she still had not heard or seen Scott. Getting out of bed she put on some shorts and tank top and headed downstairs. She checked the house out but Scott was not there. His car had been in the driveway when she got home but it was no longer there. She put on coffee and then called his cell phone but got no answer. She was getting worried when she had a thought.

Grabbing her purse she jumped in the car and headed to the beach. She anxiously looked for a parking space and as soon as she parked she was out of the car and walking down the beach. She could see him long before she got to the bench. He looked up and saw her approaching and turned away.

“Hi,” she said as she sat down beside him. “We seem to always wind up here.”

“Yea. It is a good place to think.”

“Would it help if I said I was sorry?”

“No. Because you do not mean it,” he replied.

“Fair enough. I could lie and say I do but I would not mean it. I was wrong and that I do mean. I was wrong but I am not sorry. Does that make me crazy,” she said as she began to cry

Despite himself Scott put his arm around her shoulder. He could not help but feel he had started this and that he bore some of the responsibility. “Why? I know you love me and honestly I don’t think this has a lot to do with me although it felt that way last night. You have always been so strong and independent. How can you let him treat you that way?”

“Scott I wish I knew. It is just such a thrill and it gets me off so much. It think he makes me do things that I want to do but do not have the guts to do without him as an excuse. Does that make any sense at all?”

“No. Not really. All I know is I cannot do this. I called Eve while you were asleep and told her I would not be seeing her anymore. Cheryl I am not the kind of guy that can stand there and watch his wife used let alone enjoy it. Having sex with another guy I have no problem with but I cannot see you degraded that way and go along with it.”

They sat silent for a long time. Finally Scott broke the silence. “You know I cannot do what Kirk does so I guess the ball is in your court. Can you give it up or should we look at other options.”

“You mean divorce?”

“I don’t see any other way Cheryl. I love you more today than when we were married. I thought we could play a little and it not hurt us but I cannot see you being used like that.”

“I am not sure Scott. I love you so much and I do not want to ever disappoint you and certainly do not want a divorce. I wish I could explain it. Sitting her right now I could commit to not doing it again but if the opportunity came up I am not sure I would not jump at the chance,” she said sadly.

“Are you getting addicted to drugs?”

She thought about this for a moment before replying. “No. I don’t think so. I enjoy them and it heightens the sex but I do not crave it when I am not partying.”

“Good. Well…I guess we have a month to figure this out. You need to decide before the next party what you are going to do. I am out of the lifestyle and I will not see you used like a piece of meat,” he said as he got up and walked back up the beach.

Cheryl watched him as he disappeared into the parking lot up the beach and did not move for a long time.

******************

It was a week before the party and Scott and Cheryl had spoken very little about things. Cheryl was trying to figure out her options and Scott spent his time wondering just what he would do if she did not want to stop. Would he really divorce her and tell the kids that after almost 28 years they were splitting up. Surely there had to be another way but if she said she could not give it up he knew he would leave rather than watch her used.

The Monday before the party Cheryl was waiting on him when he got in from work. No dinner and no beer in a chilled mug. She did not want to deceive him or try to play games. She felt bad about the way she had plotted with Brian and Maria to get her way. She had really evaluated her needs against what was important and decided the two were in conflict.

“Honey let’s talk,” she said. Her voice was firm but he could hear the desperation.

They sat by the pool for a long moment before Cheryl began talking. “Scott I want you to hear me out on this,” she said and he felt his heart sink.

He sat silent and she continued. “I have thought about this a long time and I want to be as honest with you as I can. I am not sure I can give up playing. If I did I am afraid I would do it behind your back. The only thing worse than doing it would be telling you I wouldn’t and then doing it. I have a compromise that I hope you will consider.”

She looked at him to see how he was doing before continuing. “Every time we have talked you have said you could not stand to see me being treated that way. What if we have an open marriage for a year?”

She saw him start to rise out of his seat.

Grabbing his arm she pulled him back. “Sit down. We are talking and we will get nowhere if we do not talk this out. Will we resolve it? Maybe not and you can run to your lawyer but we both at least have to try. I love you too much not to try.”

He sat back down and did not say a word. “Give it a year. Let me get this out of my system. You would not be there so you would not see what happens and in fairness if you wanted to see someone you could. I honestly believe that this will run its course in a few months. I want you and I want to be faithful but when you started this you tapped an urge in me I never knew I had and now I have to purge myself of it. The only way to do that is to let it run its course.”

“No. I will not sit home on weekends while you are out with him doing who knows what.”

“You do not have to sit home on weekends. You can see other people,” she said.

“Cheryl you just do not get it. I don’t want to see other people. This was something we were going to do together and now it has spiraled out of control. I made a huge mistake by not realizing this might lead to something like this and I am sorry. I was so wrong but I will not continue like this. Why can’t you just give Kirk up?”

Touching his arm she replied, “That’s just it Scott. This has nothing to do with Kirk. If it was not him it would be some other guy like him. I don’t even think it is about the sex although I do enjoy it. It is about a need to be controlled and dominated. And you are right. You could never do the kinds of things that Kirk or someone like him does. You love me too much and it is not in your nature. That is why I love you so much.”

“Cheryl that is just not good enough. It is either you stop the games or we need to separate.”

They sat for a long time not saying anything before Cheryl spoke again. “You know Scott, if one of us had a drinking problem, a gambling problem or something else like that we would not even be having this conversation. Neither of us would abandon the other because of some addiction or medical issue. If I were bi-polar or had a mental issue you would never leave me. I am not saying this to manipulate you. I honestly think this is something I have to kick and cannot do it cold turkey. I need you with me or I am not sure where it will lead me. If keeping you means I have to tell you I will stop then I will tell you that even though I am pretty sure I cannot keep that promise.”

Scott stood and walked out of the room and this time Cheryl did not try to stop him.

**************

Scott was lost and could not decide what to do. He had no one to talk to about this. His normal friends did not know anything about the swinging and their swinging friends all had ulterior motives. This was a decision he had to make on his own.

Cheryl had made some good points during their discussion. He had gotten her into this situation and tapped this need within her. She never would have started down this path if he had not pushed her. She had warned him and he just would not listen. Was it fair to walk away and leave her? She was also on point that if this were a drinking or drug problem leaving would not even be a consideration. Was this the same thing but just happened to be sex. No he thought, not sex but submissiveness. It was just manifested sexually because that is the ultimate submission. Was he focusing on how it made him feel and pride as opposed to what she needed to kick this thing. He was not a cuckold weak guy who could be manipulated. This sounded like hogwash in his head and just a way to rationalize away what he knew he needed to do. It was Thursday before he made a decision. From work he text Cheryl and told her they needed to talk and to meet him at the bench.

**************

Scott could see she was already sitting on the bench as he was walking up the beach. She slid over as he sat down. “How long have you been here,” he asked?

“About an hour. I wanted time to prepare myself for whatever you decide. Better be glad to because there was an old couple sitting here and I glared at them until they got up and left,” she said trying to lighten the mood.

He tried to smile but just could not manage it.

He decided to get it out and be done with it but before he could speak Cheryl began.

“Scott I want you to know that whatever you decide I will do my best to abide by your wishes. If you decide against it I wish I could tell you I would never do it again but all I can do is try to never disappoint you. Scott I love you and want to grow old and play with our grandkids together. I just hope I am strong enough to make that happen,” she said as she began crying.

Scott looked at her for a moment wondering if this was an act and then chastised himself. She had not changed that much. She was not trying to manipulate him and was really struggling with this.

“Cheryl I love you too. I am one of the lucky people who found the right person early and my commitment to you has never wavered. I cannot tell you how this is going to turn out but I really thought about what you said and have come to a decision.” He paused before continuing. “I am not willing to commit to waiting a year and see if this runs its course. I have no desire to meet other women. I will not commit to an open marriage.”

Cheryl’s heart sank. Not because she did not want to do what Scott wanted but she was not sure that she would not fail. All she could do was try to stay out of situations where it might happen. She started to speak but Scott interrupted her.

“Let me finish,” he said. “I do think this is something you will have to fight and I have been trying to think of the best way to proceed. It is kind of like Susan, you know when she wanted to date that thug when she was in high school.”

Cheryl did remember. The guy was no good and they had been told he hung out with some of the local gang types. They had struggled with how to handle it. In the end they decided to let it run its course figuring if they forbade it she would just be pushed into it more. It was a risk that turned out well when Susan had dumped him when he tried to get her involved with people she was not comfortable with.

“Here is what I am willing to do,” Scott continued. “First I am not committing to anything because, like you I am not sure I can fulfill that promise. Secondly I am willing to stand by you as long as I can while you try to overcome this problem. Thirdly I will give you the party at Brain and Maria’s each month to indulge in this until you can quit all together. Before you think you have a total free pass let me tell you I am not sure if I can last a month or a year but this is not open ended. At some point you are going to have to choose. I am just willing to try to help you kick this because I do think it is a mental disease concerning submission and not really about the sex.”

Cheryl could not believe what she had heard. She was so grateful for his willingness to help her with this issue. “Scott, thank you so much for understanding. I appreciate your sacrifice and I will make a commitment to you. I will try to kick this thing and learn to control it. I will never lie to you or do something behind your back. I love you Scott.”

They sat for a moment and then she added, “Scott I do want to warn you. When I am with him, in that environment I do things that I am ashamed of. I will do anything he asks. At the party the other night I knew what I was doing upset you but I could not stop. Worse it felt good and excited me. How hurting the man I love most could make me feel like that I cannot explain but it did.”

Scott felt uneasy with this revelation but his resolve did not waiver. He had thought about this and was convinced it was a mental issue. “Do you think it would help if you got counseling?”

“I don’t know but if you want me to I will gladly go. I really want to kick this and make our home whole again.”

Scott decided he would try to find a good doctor and see if he thought if counseling would help. Taking Cheryl’s hand they walked back down the beach looking for a place to eat.

****************

Cheryl did not go to the party that weekend and did not mention it the next month either. Scott began to hope that maybe his willingness to accommodate her problem had helped her get over it. He had resisted the urge to check her cell phone or e-mails because he just did not want to live like that. He would try to give her some rope and hopefully she would hit the ground before she hung herself.

It was the next month that she fell off the wagon. Scott could tell she was trying to bring something up when she finally said, “I have a surprise for you babe. I bought tickets to the Georgia/LSU game for you and John this Saturday. I know you two have not gotten to spend much time together and I remember how you used to love to take him to the ball games. I have a flight for you Friday after you get off work and coming back on Sunday. He will pick you up at the airport.”

Scott was excited. It had been a long time since he and his son had gotten to a game. “Thank you,” he said as he hugged her. “Why aren’t you coming with us? I hate for you to sit here all weekend bored.” As he said it her face told him everything he needed to know. She would not be sitting home bored. “Maybe this is not a good idea. I am not sure I should be out of town when you are down there.”

“I will be fine,” Cheryl replied. “Brian and Maria will be there and it will be no different than when we used to go. Please baby. I would feel so much better knowing you are having fun.”

Scott felt little comfort that Brian and Maria would be there and he doubted he would enjoy the game but it was still better than sitting here brooding.

Thursday night Cheryl packed everything for Scott so he could leave straight from work for his 5:05pm flight. He could see the excitement in her eyes and wished it was for him but he knew better. He vowed not to call once he left for work not wanting to know what was happening.

*****************

Cheryl was excited despite feeling guilty. She had been talking with Maria and even Kirk every since she and Scott had agreed she could see them. She made no effort to hide it but had not noticed Scott making any effort to monitor what she did. The party this weekend was kind of a welcome back for her after being gone for a while. It had been over 3 months since Cheryl had played and she could barely contain herself.