The next several pages were about Kathy's normal days and the trips every few days to the park with Matt and the children. Just short paragraphs that they had gone, some of the activities that the children enjoyed and a few skinned knees here and there. Nothing that a few band aids wouldn't fix.
Brad noticed that the pages that followed, had quite a bit more than just a short paragraph or two.
"What's all this?" he thought to himself.
Please read Only in a Dream chapters 1 to 4 to understand what has led up to this point in the story.
After finding nothing other than normal activities in Kathy's journal, Brad comes across her short entries telling of her trips to the park with an old neighbor that he was sure was trying to bed her. Her words spoke of just innocent outings with Matt and the children at first, then Brad came to where there was page after page of entries.
Comments will be turned on after the last chapter. Also, there is a lot of graphic sex in this chapter. So be forewarned.
Also note; the ~~~~~~~~ lines are to represent the different pages of the journal. Plus, if you've ever read a woman's journal, they tend to put a smiley face or the word smile after a sentence.
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Wednesday July 13, 1988.
I've been going with Matt to HT park a couple times a week for about a month now. We were sitting at our usual table this evening, Matt got up and went for a walk, then I saw him go into the woods. I stayed there at the table, just enjoying the quiet,the distant sounds of the children playing in the woods and the birds singing.
It was so peaceful and I lost all track of time, the sun was getting lower and I was scared that the shadows in the woods would make it too dark to see the trails. I got up, went over to the gap in the trees and looked into the woods. I was right, I could hardly see anything. I went into the woods a few steps. I could hear the children off in the distance and I wondered where Matt went.
As my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I noticed him over to my left, about thirty feet away. He was standing next to some heavy brush and looked like he was staring at something. I thought there was some kind of wild animal, I really did. I very quietly crept over to see what he was looking at. When I almost got over to him, I asked him very I guess I startled him, because he jumped and turned to look back over his shoulder at me.
I AM SO EMBARRASSED!!
I didn't notice until it was too late, that he was peeing. I told him I was so sorry. I thought he was watching some kind of animal or something, I turned around and walked away. I heard him call to the children as I rushed out of the woods, back to the picnic table to wait on them to come out.
After they came out of the woods, Matt walked over to me and started to say something, but I cut him off and spoke first.
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I could feel my shame, my face was blood red, I know it. I told him that I was so sorry, I saw him standing there not moving, and I thought he was watching a raccoon or something. That's why I sneaked up behind him like I did, I didn't want to scare it away. He said that it was alright, that I did scare the shit out of him, tho.
I just can't think straight right now, oh God. I was so embarrassed, that I didn't even talk on the way home, I don't even think I looked at Matt at all. I don't even remember telling him bye when we left.
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Brad could tell that Kathy had really been flustered about surprising Matt in the woods. She hadn't even written down her daily weather report or what shift he worked. But, he assumed from what she'd written, that it had been sunny.
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Thursday July 14, 1988. 5-Nights / 6-back tonight.
God help me!! After Brad left last night, my mind couldn't rest, I had trouble sleeping. Brad asked me what was wrong, I looked preoccupied with something.
I told him I was tired. Oh God, help me. Yes, I wa. . . AM preoccupied with something. I couldn't get it out of my mind. Oh God, oh God, oh God, I'm still thinking about it. I'm obsessed!!
When Matt came out of the woods and walked over to the picnic table, my face was so flushed, I don't think I hid my embarrassment very well, and I interrupted him when he started to speak. But I don't think it was embarrassment??
Oh God!! It was excitement and there was only one thing I could see. Matt turning towards me in the woods when I surprised him. And there it was, Oh, God. The reason I was so flushed at the picnic table; the reason I could hardly speak on the way home from the park; the reason I was so glassy eyed when Brad went to work and the reason I couldn't sleep last night!
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I saw Matt's cock. . . Oh my God!!!!! I was only a few feet away from him when he turned, I caught a glimpse of it out of the corner of my eye. I thought I was just imagining how big it was, so I looked right directly at it for a few seconds. Oh God, it was huge. God I'm so ashamed, but I can't stop thinking about it.
All of those porn flicks I've watched with Brad, all of the enormous cocks I've seen on those actors, I've tried to imagine what it would be like to be with a man hung like that. Fred (my ex) has even crossed my mind. If he would have been more like Brad, not forced himself on me, or if he would have known how to please me. I would NEVER, ever go back, let Fred touch me ever again. I would never, ever allow that to happen.
God, why did I even think about him. I can't get this out of my head. But if I was turned on, and wet like Brad makes me, what would riding a large cock like that feel like? Or In my ass, or . . . Oh God!! Even in my mouth.
After all, those men on the screen aren't my husband, are they? HA HA!!! And neither is Matt!! What would a cock that big feel like in my mouth? Those women on screen sure seem to like it. It doesn't hurt to dream a little, does it? My God, I'm wet just thinking about it!!!
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A sense of dread came over Brad.
"Oh God. . . I new she was gonna end up fucking him. Please, please tell me she didn't."
He read on. . .
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Her writings didn't mention Matt for almost a week. Just her normal weather reports, Brad's schedule and a few lines and paragraphs about her mundane daily activities. No trips to the park. . . Then:
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Wednesday July 20, 1988. 3-Nights / 4-back tonight.
It's been rainy and wet outside, so the kids were cooped up in the house all day and were pestering me for milkshakes. I was going to go over to Mcdonald's(and I should have) and get shakes for everyone, but instead, I decided to run to the grocery store and get milk and ice cream to make my own. It was cheaper, besides, Scott wanted just a plain bowl of ice cream instead of a shake, anyway.
Me and Andy went to the store. After we got there, I ran into Matt and Cindy. God I got so flushed when I saw Matt, I hope Cindy didn't notice how uncomfortable I was around him.
Cindy promised to try and make some time for us to get together. But, all I could think about, while I was standing there was Matt's giant cock. God!! I was trying to see it without them knowing.
What am I going to do??? God, I did get a quick look at the bulge in his jeans. How come I never noticed it before now? I guess I don't make a habit of running around looking at different men's crotches, ha ha. I seen Matt's purely by accident. And now, it's all I can think about.
When I headed back towards the ice cream, I walked past the produce isle. I glanced over, and my eyes were fixated right on the cucumbers.
Oh God!! I had a wicked idea come into my head.
By the time I got to the dairy case, my panties were soaking wet. I got the ice cream, then grabbed a gallon of milk. I stopped and just stood there trying to decide if I was actually going to do what crossed my mind a few minutes before, that made me so wet. I've tried to get this out of my mind, but I can't.
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Ever since that last evening at the park with Matt and the children, All I can think about, is Matt's cock and those big cocks in those X rated flicks that me and Brad watched. I want a big cock in my mouth to suck on.
Why???!!!
All I know, is when I think about sucking a cock, it makes me very wet and I get all tingly between my legs. I need to learn to just suck on Brad's, But, my inner voice keeps telling me that I can't, it wouldn't be right.
I stood there and couldn't decide what to do, I've been thinking about going up on Madison st and buying a rubber sex toy, but what if someone I know would see me in there? Well, that idea was shot down pretty quickly.
Then, I saw the cucumbers. I was so scared that someone could read my mind and they would know what I was buying the vegetables for!!! I bought four different cucumbers, I chose them, trying to imagine how big Matt is when he's hard.
I bought a box of condoms too. Got to have safe sex, you know. Smile. I was so embarrassed I picked a checkout with a cashier that was about college age, hoping that the girl wouldn't make any connections between the items in my cart.
Just as the young girl finished ringing up my things, a young man walked over to bag them up. The girl quickly handed me the condoms and asked me if I wanted them in my purse. God, she was so embarrassed for some reason, her face was blood red. I told her there's nothing to be embarrassed about, she'd probably need some of those someday.
The girl looked at me and whispered, that's not what she was embarrassed about, The boy that had just been over here putting my things in the sacks, was her boyfriend.
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She said they had been going together for over a year now, but they'd never had sex. That he'd been pestering her to, he really wanted to have sex with her, but she wasn't ready yet. I gave her a big understanding smile.
Before I could say anything else, she shocked the shit out of me!!! She told me that she wasn't sure what to do, she was scared that her boyfriend would find out, that last week, she let his best friend lick ice cream off of her boobs and he put a rubber on a cucumber and shoved it inside of her twat, while she gave him a blow job. I almost ran out of the store.
When we got home, the kids all came into the kitchen and we made our milkshakes, Scott just had a bowl of ice cream. They had fun.
