(I was doing some reno work for this rich dude, but was puzzled because the wife he was with was not the same wife he was with the last time I had done some reno work for him a few years earlier. I mentioned it to him and he blew my socks off with this amazing story about having one wife too many. Being a true story, he really went through a hard time, and put two loving wives through the ringer too.)
***
The air was cool and refreshing as it funneled into a wind and played in his long brown hair.
John Haskins glanced into the back seat from the rear view mirror, knowing his five year old daughter, Marcie, might be tempted to comment. She was.
"Your hair's really flying, daddy."
"Enjoy watching it fly while you can. I'm getting bald spots, and I'm really thinning out. One day soon I'll probably be as bald as a bowling ball."
"What's bald mean, daddy?"
"It means you'll get to shine my head and watch the sun reflect off it."
"That would be fun, daddy, shining your head, then sparky could lick any dust off it with his tongue."
The one year old golden retriever, hearing his name mentioned, assumed that a doggie treat might be in the offing. He sat up on hind legs and began to twirl his paws to beg.
"Any more doggie treats, daddy?"
"There should be some in the red bag on the floor. But be careful not to root up everything too much. I had a hard time getting so much in there in the first place."
She dove down the sides of the seat until her hands rummaged through the bag. John sighed. He suddenly remembered he had foolishly packed the dog treats first, meaning the contents of the bag were going to be scattered all over the floor and seat. He sighed in defeated resignation. Such was life when you had a dog. Still, he wouldn't trade in the golden furred mongrel for all the world. Sparky was viewed upon as one of the family.
As she emptied out the bag, the wind began to whip the parcel wrappings, comics and magazines around the back seat in a frenzy. He hit the button to do up the window. Having the sun roof open was good enough.
"Don't give Sparky too many. He got sick last time you let him eat the whole pack, remember?"
"I remember, daddy," Marcie assured him, "only a few, I promise."
John smiled, knowing that the phrase, 'only a few,' to a child, could mean just about anything, two, four or even ten.
A sudden burst of stench accosted John's nostrils. Marcie smelled it too, and made up her face, pausing giving Sparky his first treat by pinching her nose.
A long row of septic tanks and rotting garbage was soon deemed to be the culprit. The "Henry Mason's Junk Yard" sign was half hanging off the dilapidated fence. Dumping garbage and unwanted personal belongings along the highway was a serious, high fine offence. But dumping it into a pile of trash that was already mountainous, wasn't bound to come back and haunt you any time soon.
The highway began to give way to layers of swirling dust on either side, accompanied by bone dry bush and parched, yellowy tumbleweed.
"We almost there, yet daddy?"
John surveyed the highway carefully. This was definitely not the same road he had taken last time he drove Marcie up to visit her Grand Parents. He sighed wearily. Somewhere along the road in the last half hour he must have taken a wrong turn or missed a turn off, although, for the life of him, he couldn't figure out how.
He pulled over to the side of the road and stopped. There wasn't a car anywhere in sight. He began to think in earnest about the way he had come, trying desperately to retrace his route.
The drive had been a pretty straight forward one. He had driven here twice before, and always took the scenic route, lasting three hours.
He checked his watch. It read one-thirty. Having left San Antonia at exactly ten fifteen, he was now precisely fifteen minutes passed his usual arrival time.
He closed his eyes and fought hard to remember each turnoff he'd taken from the very beginning.
Marcie didn't care he had stopped. She was far too busy getting licked furiously by Sparky as he kept begging her for more treats.
He recalled driving out of San Antonio on Highway 35 North.
He had stopped at Wendy's in Waco for lunch, an event that had seen ketchup being spilled onto Marcie's dress, and an orange soft drink being spilled onto his pants as she had scrambled to fish the toy out of the kids meal he had bought for her. The recollection made him smile. Kids would be kids.
After leaving Wendy's, he remembered reaching the fork which branched off into two highways, the left for Fort Worth and the right for Dallas.
He had taken the left turnoff as usual, and also reached highway twenty as usual after he had driven through Fort Worth.
From there he had gone east along the 20 until he'd reached Abilene, then veered south, following the road upon which the sign read "Tuscola 15 Miles."
The Texas sun was shining brightly, glinting off the windshield, and making him unable to make out the sign just twenty feet to his left.
He got out and walked ten feet until he spotted it. It Read, "Tuscola 1 mile," but with the arrow facing the other way.
"Damn," he whispered, realizing he had somehow managed to pass his wife's parent's small town.
He hopped back into his eighty thousand dollar BMW and spun it around, his tires kicking up dust as he screeched back into the opposite direction.
"Are we lost, Daddy," Marcie asked, noting the look of urgency and bewilderment on his face.
John had forgotten the name of the street Marcie's Grand Parents lived on, and with so few houses or businesses around, there wasn't really anyone he could stop and ask.
A large red barn loomed in the distance, and a sign nearby boasted "Tuscola, Population 950."
A few yards further and he finally spotted the road sign he was looking for. It read "Buffalo Gap Road."
He smiled and breathed a sigh of relief, making a right to go north. As he rounded the intersection he caught a glimpse of the fallen road sign on the other side of the street. He nodded at the sight. No wonder he had missed it.
The farms were sprawling and soon gave way to a small urban center, where four or five restaurants and half a dozen arts and craft shops mingled with an antique store and a quaint bed and breakfast.
"Not much further now," John promised, glancing back in the rear view mirror and not seeing his daughter. He spun his head quickly and saw her laying flat on the seat, snoring away. His golden hair dog snuggled up beside her, his face guilty and his open mouth wheezing as his tongue dangled listlessly, a sure sign he had eaten far too may doggie treats and now had the sore belly to prove it. Marcie had been too excited to sleep the night before and had suddenly succumbed to a need to nap.
"Poor thing," he whispered. "She must be exhausted."
A text suddenly came in. He picked up his cell phone off the dash holder and saw that it was from his wife Stacie. It read, "at the airport, ready to board the plane. Should be in Florida within a few hours. With any luck, we'll be boarding the cruise ship by five thirty. Bye, all my love. Kiss Marcie for me."