On Housing Hunters

Author’s notes: Here is my first foray into the Loving Wives section. I hope you enjoy my attempt. Please remember this is a copywrited piece of adult fiction and all legal disclaimers apply. I got the idea for this by walking through my living room while my wife was watching one of her shows. I saw the woman and instantly thought, “What a ball busting Bitch!” I’ve been under some stress and this is the story that came out of all that. Please take a second to vote, or a few moments to comment or leave me some feedback.

Enjoy:

Have you ever wanted to be on one of those stupid cable shows? You know, Fix my House, Crash my Yard, or Housing Hunters? Well, my once future and never to be wife, signed us up for one. Actually, she signed herself up. But still, I got dragooned in for the ride. It was my biggest and last mistake with that bitch. I just thank God Almighty that it happened before I fucked up my life and said I do!

I guess I should step back a little bit and let you know why I’m so fucking pissed about all this. My therapist told me I might be able to move on and try and trust another woman if I do. Since I’m not homosexual and won’t ever pay for sex, I have to try something before my balls either explode or shrivel up from lack of use.

So, here is a quick history lesson about Thomas D. Striker Jr. I was born, raised and live a middle class life. I followed my father’s footsteps and joined the Marines (Semper-Fi!) when the call to arms came. I did my time in hell and was lucky enough to walk out of there still intact. I’ve seen, done, and live with shit no human should ever have to do to another. I don’t care what fucking religion you believe in. I guess you can say I’m lucky; all my scars are on the inside.

That leads me up to my time in the hospital, my shrink, and the fact that I’m stuck between my anger and bad dreams. I love my family, but I can’t go back there. I was there for a visit, when a smart ass relative thought it would be funny to scare the shit out of me with some fire crackers. My dad and a few others were lucky enough to pull me off Cousin Jimmy before I killed the little prick. It’s not my fucking fault he can’t talk now. At least he’s alive. Maybe he’ll think before he acts next time.

Anyway, after a six month stint in the Rubber Ramada, I decided to go where I might find some pleasant memories. So, I ended up back in my college town. You know the place I bombed out of school, but aced in partying. I went to work as a parts driver, while I took a few classes in computer technologies.

You see, I had this killer idea about an online business. I just needed to figure out the ins and outs of computers and earn a little bit of capital before I took the big dive into being self employed. My anger management was working and I was down to bi-monthly visits to my shrink. All in all, it was the perfect time to meet someone that might have some of the same moral values. Someone who knows what the words fidelity, monogamy, and honesty mean. This is the part when I meet Laverne.

Besides having a goofy name, Laverne is a wet dream come to life. Five eight, one ten, hazel eyes, Chesnutt hair; and legs that make a perfect ass of themselves. Her tits weren’t huge, but not small either. Her face could and did make most guys do a double take and run into trees. It was funny actually to watch. When we met, she wasn’t an Ice Princess, but had the ‘Fuck Off’ vibe about her with most guys.

I later found out that the King to her Queen was a serial cheater and got two of her close friends pregnant at the same time. Can you say man trust issues? I figured she might be one of the ones who knew the meaning of the words close to my heart.

Lucky for me, well I thought it was lucky for me at the time. I was assigned a group project with her and a couple of other students. It ended up being mainly us since Goth dude and Militant gay chick couldn’t say five words to each other before getting into a fight. They split after Laverne told them.

“Why don’t you two just go bump uglies so we can get our project done.” She didn’t stop there. “It’s totally obvious you want to and I’m not getting a shitty grade because you’ve got the trots for each other.” She waved them off as they stormed out of the diner we were using for study group.

“That went well.” I laughed.

“Starved for attention is what they are.” She rolled her eyes.

“Or pissed because you get more attention being yourself than they can being drama queens.” I shrugged chuckling.

No, we didn’t start making googly faces at each other and run to the closest bed. What we did was talk and made a solid A on our project. I thought we started our relationship on a solid foundation of mutual respect and healthy adult desires.

Have you ever heard the phrase, ‘Make speed slowly’? Well it is a tacit that can be very effective when used correctly. I let her set the pace. Maybe that was wrong, but I didn’t hide the fact that I was into her, if she was into me. If not, then I’d go about my day and look for someone else to share my life with.

The first time she made any significant physical contact with me was after she saw one of my other female friends hug me as I was going to my car. Julie, the other girl, was fun and a bit of a slut, but in a nice way. She wasn’t into serious relationships because she was having too much fun trying on whoever caught her eye for size, shape, and staying power. I will tell you her tits were real and they felt fabulous pressed against you.

The next time I was with Laverne, she reached and twined her hands with mine. Of course, she made sure it was right in front of Julie. Julie just laughed and bounced her tits next to the flavor of the month. After that, Lavern always sat next to me, putting her hand on me if a woman was within twenty feet of us. I guess she was marking her territory.

So, that went on for a month while I went home and tried to jerk off enough not to have a constant woody in her presence. Not that it worked, but I did find out that Udder Butter was great for chaffed dicks as well at sore nipples on pregnant women.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Once the damn had been opened, I was right there. Sure I’d let her make the first move, but I was right there moving with her. I made sure she knew I was aroused, but didn’t think I had to rub my dick on her every time we were together. Then things started to really change.

We were at a decent club, getting slightly toasted, when she opened the door even further. “Are you ever going to kiss me and make my toes curl?” She asked me with a look in her eyes that challenged me. It was all I needed. I didn’t say a word before I swooped down and let her have it. By the time I was done, we were both breathing hard.

“Oh my god…!” She breathed into my neck. Since she could still talk, I went in for another run.

I held her face softly and slowly kissed her as her lips softened against mine. I waited until they parted on their own before taking it deeper. I rubbed her arms and back, not going into uncharted territory. Did you know the small of a woman’s back is an erogenous zone? I know hers was, because every time I touched it she’d moan into my mouth. I could feel her high beams searing into my chest and her heat radiating next to my very hard member. I let her pull back as spots started dancing before my eyes.

“Who taught you to kiss like that?” She was panting.

“A woman I was dating overseas. It didn’t work out for us, but it was great while it lasted.” I smiled at her.

“If I ever meet her, remind me to thank her for teaching you and then letting you go.” She smiled at me and held me just that much closer. “So, are you ever going to try and take this father?” I could see the want, but not the need… yet.

“We’re going to take this as slow as we can. I don’t want to make a mistake where you’re concerned. I’m not looking for sex, but a real partner.” I shrugged and kissed her again, just to make the point. If I didn’t know better, I think she came when she stiffened up and all but melted in my arms.

“Get a room or go on stage if you’re going to do that.” A laughing Julie said as she walked by with her new guy.

I don’t know if Laverne was blushing or was just that flushed. Either way, we headed to someplace quieter as I taught her how a real man kisses his woman. Did I grab for her boobs? Nope, I lightly brushed the side a few times, so she knew I knew they were there. Did I grab her ass? Nope, again I touched the small of her back, right over her pant line and made her moan as my hand softly caressed her skin.

What most men fail to understand, the most important sexual organ of a woman is her brain, followed by the close second, her skin. You get those warmed up and running, when you finally get to the really good parts, it makes it mind shattering for them. Some things are worth taking your time and doing right the first time. Making love is one of those things.

So anyway, since I was giving her the space to make up her mind, I figured she thought she was in control of things. I guess no one had ever told her that control is the biggest illusion, right behind the theory that the Devil doesn’t exist.

But, I’m getting ahead of myself. A tube of Udder Butter later, she was finally ready to take it to the next level. I could feel it building, but I was willing to take the time. If you pay attention, you will know when a woman makes up their mind. Seeing the look on her face, I stopped spanking Frank the week before I knew she wanted to spend the weekend together. I knew this was it. I was either getting laid, or needed to start looking elsewhere for a partner. Her mind was made up.

So, I took her dancing early, so we would still have some energy when we went back to my apartment. I did offer to take her to her place, but she said we needed to talk. I opened the door for her. I got her a glass of her favorite wine and turned on her favorite music and sat there across from her and waited.

“Why haven’t you tried to seduce me?” She asked, and this time I saw the need.

“I’ve told you. I’m looking for a relationship, not getting lucky. If I have to seduce you then what type of relationship would that be?” I kissed her softly. “I figured when you are ready to make love to me, making the commitment to me as my girlfriend, then we can cross that boundary. Besides, I thought all you women wanted the slow romance?” I smiled at her.

“We also like to know where a relationship is going.” She said, taking a drink of her wine.

“This is going where we want it to go, when we want it to get there. I don’t feel the need to force, wheedle, cajole, or beg a woman to make love to me.” I shrugged. “If and when I make love to a woman, I want to know she exactly where she wants to be with me doing what we want to do to pleasure each other. Anything else and I might as well hire a pro. Once I make love, then I am faithful to that woman until the bond is broken.” I warned her.

“You can’t be real.” She sighed.

“I wouldn’t want to bet on that.” I smiled at her. “I’ve had only a couple of lovers in my life, but they were just that; Lovers. We will be equal partners, not a woman I had to force into a relationship. I doesn’t take much after that to find out if two people are compatible.” I unbuttoned my first three buttons. It was getting hot.

“How much longer are you going to play this game?” There is a look in a woman’s eyes that tell you it is time to put up or shut up.

“I’m not playing a game sweetheart. I figure you’ve made up your mind, or we wouldn’t be here. I also figure by the end of this weekend, we will either be closer together, or I will kiss you and let you go to find the one who really makes you happy. I know what I want, but I have to let you make up your own mind.” I reached over and caught the droplet of wind at the corner of her mouth.

I guess in her mind, she had to make the first move again. But, once she was in my lap kissing me, there was no stopping me this time. I took my time exposing her skin, giving as much of it as I could attention. I kissed everywhere on her breast except her nipples, driving her to distraction. I refused to let her do anything but kiss me as I stripped her. Once she was naked on my couch, I held her down so I could kiss her legs.

“Please… no more teasing, I need you!” She pulled my head to her sex and I started my explorations. “Oh God, Oh, oh, oh, oh,” She panted as I kissed, lick and sucked every fold, every nook, every petal of her center.

“OHSWEETJESUSINEEDYOU!” She screamed as her body went into convulsions. I reached for protection. “No, no, no! Just you… I’m on the pill, just you!” She was panting and shoving the little package away.

“I’m not going to last too long the first time, but there will be more.” I warned her as my cock slipped past her clit, looking for the glove of her body.

“Take me; give it to me, I WANT IT!” She yelled as I slid myself into her depts.

Okay, here you are going to have to use your imagination, because I have no clue what happened next. By that time we were grasping, clutching, slamming; bodies locked in the sexual dance. I know there was thrusting and she reciprocated, but… I mean it isn’t that good if you can remember it.

Thought came back as we lay their gasping for air as our fluids drained down to the cloth covering on my couch. “That was awesome!” She pulled me down for a kiss.

When I could, I picked her and carried her to my bed. I was glad I picked the old waterbed to convert for my bed. It was sturdy enough to take the pounding we gave it without slamming into my walls. I know my neighbors were thankful too, although her shouts and screams probably were heard in the next county. See, I told you. To really make love it is worth the wait and effort.

After the first round, my backlog was taken care of and now I had some staying power. By the time Monday rolled around, we were both sore. But, I can tell you that she knew without a doubt, that she had been made love to, ravished, and blissfully tender every time she sat down.

Here is when it would be great to say that she moved in and we had sex every time we saw each other. Its rubbish, but it looks good in those sex stories. In the real world, she still had classes, I still had work and classes, and the world kept spinning. She learned that I was a quality over quantity kind of guy, and not to come and get it unless she had the time to take the time because I wasn’t stopping once we started.

She learned that the hard way when she was supposed to be in class, but I wouldn’t stop pounding her pussy and making her cum until I was finished and knew she could take no more. Since I was getting sex on a regular basis, I wasn’t in a rush. I mean if it is worth doing, it is worth doing right. I mean really, correct me if I’m wrong….

I thought not.

*****

What is it about women that once they settle on a guy, they start nesting? Grated we were good together. Granted we spent most of our time together. But just because she got a good job after she graduated, doesn’t mean I’m ready to put everything I own into buying a house together.

I guess she had a different idea though. She didn’t seem to mind living at my place long enough to get a down payment. I don’t think she was ready for the answer when she asked the question though.

“Honey, I contacted a realtor today. I was wondering what type of house we should buy?” I knew it was coming, but I still wasn’t ready.

“Um love, who said I wanted to buy a house yet. You know, I’m trying to save my capital to start my business.” I tried to be gentle.

“Why should we wait?” She asked looking at me like I had grown a second head.

“Because, I’m not ready to make that type of investment Babe.” I tried to explain to her. “I mean my business is going to take at least two years to get off the ground. Then maybe another five before I can start setting away some of the profits for retirement.”

“Don’t you want to live with me?” She actually pouted at me.

“Yes I do. I love you and like living with you, but I don’t think we need to rush into anything. Especially in this market.” I knew it wasn’t going well.

“Oh, I know, you don’t rush anything.” I didn’t like the sound of it, but I knew she was irritated at me. “If I waited for you, we wouldn’t even be together yet.” Her voice had a snide tone to it.

“Sweetheart, if it is worth doing….” I know she knew what I was going to say. I’ve said it about a thousand times by then.

“I am doing it right.” She hissed at me. “I don’t want to waste sixty to a hundred thousand dollars on rent we will never get back. Buying a house is an investment in our future.” She was getting to the point if I didn’t nip it in the bud, it would end up being a bad fight.

“I’m sorry Love; I am not ready to buy a house. What is wrong with the apartment?” I held up my hand. “Yes, I want to live with you and yes, I love you, but I’m just not ready for that type of long term commitment. I might want to look at something closer to my family once everything is settled. There is a lot to think about before you just go out and buy a house.” I tried for reason, but she wasn’t listening.

*****

Here it is better to say that we didn’t see eye to eye on the issue. Here is where I found out she thought she ruled the house by the Pussy Rules. You know, she who has the pussy makes the rules. Now, I know relationships were work. I know every day it isn’t sunshine and roses. But looking back on it, that was the first day of the end of our relationship.

A month of the none plan later, she came home and about fucked my dick off. Not that I was complaining, but I wondered why. The next day she was all smiles. I was of course interested in what put her in such a good mood.

“What’s up Babe?” I finally asked once I could sit at the table.

“I’ve made a killer deal.” She smiled. “I found three houses I want us to look at and if we can close in two weeks we will be on this show called Housing Hunters. They will help pay for the closing costs as long as they get to follow us around as we pick the house.” She chirped happily.

“Damn….” I muttered. “I thought we weren’t going to….” I tried, I really did, but I guess I was already too late.

“No, I guess we’re not. But, I’m not waiting for you to get off your ass on this one Tom. I’m buying the house by myself.” I sometimes think it would have been better if I just left then. I know it would have saved me a lot of heart ache. But then again, Laverne wouldn’t learn a valuable life lesson. My broken heart is a small price to pay… right?

Again here, to make this shorter and not subject you to our arguments, we’ll say that I signed the fucking paperwork letting the film crew be up our ass as she found the perfect house. I played the game like a good little boy. I was even awarded a piece of her pussy for my efforts. So now, we could be a loving couple and sing happy-happy, joy-joy songs.

I knew it was going to be bad when the real estate lady asked what ‘we’ were looking for. Laverne wanted something close to her work, not oversized and within her budget. I of course, know a little bit about it from my father who runs his own business, wanted the house to have hard wood floors, a new kitchen with stainless appliances. It needed to have the deck already on the house, a nice yard and something if we did work this out we could grow into since we were looking at a thirty year loan. It would take at least ten to get it so we had enough equity to sell at any type of profit.

This of course got me the hairy eyeball from Laverne. “If you want that much say in the house, then why aren’t you on the mortgage paperwork?” I bit the inside of my mouth, tasting the blood so I wouldn’t bark at her for being a cunt in front of God and everybody. Well you can see the hell I was going to have to live through for the next few weeks.