I tried to make it last for a week. Al had begged me to be with another man. My father had told me when I was a teenager “Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it.” Al’s dad obviously had not told him the same thing. I had not been with Tim again since that fateful night that I had been so mean to Al. I had put myself in a position that was driving me nearly insane.
I love Al. He is my husband, my life, my world. I love fucking Tim. I was so angry at myself, but “teaching Al a lesson was much easier than dealing with my issues. But I couldn’t be mean to Al for a week, much less for the rest of our marriage.
“Al, how are you doing?” I asked as he walked into the kitchen. I had woke up early and fixed his favorite breakfast, hoping to bring it to him in bed. But he had obviously smelled the coffee and woke up.
“How am I doing?” He muttered “How am I doing? I’m going crazy that’s how I am doing!” His face was downcast, his shoulders were slumped. My heretofore confident, brash, demanding husband hand been reduced to a shell of his former self.
“Baby, I have a confession to make.” I started. His countenance fell even more. My former confession had brought his world tumbling down. I’m sure he anticipated the worst. “Sit down honey,” I insisted “I’ve made you breakfast.”
He smiled a forced smile. “The condemned man ate a hearty meal.” He muttered.
“Oh, baby, baby, I am so, so sorry.” I confessed. “I love you more than I have loved anybody else, ever in my life. I love you more than I will ever love anybody else.”
His eyes lifted. A confused look came over his face “what about Tim?” he asked.
”Al, I’m only going to say this once, after today, whatever we decide is the end of the conversation.” My voice was soft and firm. I looked him dead in the eye.
“For years you have pushed me and pushed me to have sex with somebody else.” I reached to touch his hand. “You have to believe that I never meant to end up in bed with Tim, one thing just lead to the next.” I held his hand firmly. “I have been having an affair with him for some time. I could not stand lying to you. I had to let you know. I thought I was going to do it in a way that you would find exciting.”
Al’s face was flushing now. “You cheated on me? I can not believe you cheated on me.”
“Darling, I am so sorry. I have no excuse. It just happened.” I was crying now. “Do you want to know the details?”
“I’m not sure, do I?” he replied.
“Well, I’m not sure. All I know is that after today, I don’t want to talk about it again.” Still holding his hand, “all I know is that I don’t want to recount the details over and over while you jack off.”
“Look this has been hard on me. I know I asked you to fuck another guy, but I didn’t know how tough it could be to have a fantasy come true.” Now it was my turn to feel the force of his eyes on mind. “Do you love him?”
Now it was my turn to flush with embarrassment. I did not love Tim. It was nothing but hard raw sex. “You are the only man I love.”
“I didn’t feel very loved the other night.” He insisted.
“Do you think that telling me to fuck other men made me feel loved?” I countered, followed by a long silence. The air was so thick you could cut it with a knife.
“Ok, you’re right.” He admitted. My point had been made. “So you don’t love him?”
“No, I love you.” Once again I vowed my love.
“So why do you fuck him?” He quizzed.
“Do you want the truth?” My mind raced as I considered how to tell him the truth.
“Yes.”