Sorry about the wait in posting chapter 2, but sometimes life gets in the way.
Hope you enjoy or it at least makes you think about what you would do.
I knew I was in trouble as soon as I walked through the door.
"Steve, where the heck have you been? It's almost 7:00 and I've had dinner on the table since 6:15. At least you could have called me to say you were going to be late," Deb said with an angry tone in her voice. "I'll warm it back up in the microwave, but it's not going to taste nearly as good as it would have an hour ago," said Deb as she put my dish into the microwave.
As I listened to the hum of the microwave, I tried to think of a gentle way to start this conversation. I didn't want to drop a bomb on her but I wanted to let her know exactly how I felt.
"Are you really ready to fuck up your marriage over a stupid blow job?" my brain kept asking me as I sat at the dinner table. "Maybe we could work out a compromise. Maybe if she sees what a big deal it is to me, she'll relent and give it another try," my big brain kept saying to me even though my little brain had already made up its mind a couple of months ago. One year and eight and a half months into my marriage and I was already cheating on Debby with Beth. At this point, I still didn't consider it really cheating, because I hadn't screwed anyone but I don't think Deb will look at it that way.
"Hon, after dinner, can we have a talk?" I asked smiling at her.
"Why do we have to wait until after dinner? We can talk while we eat, because I want to watch a movie that starts at 8:00 tonight," she replied putting my plate back on the table as she popped hers in the microwave. "What's on your mind?" she said now looking at me while she leaned up against the counter.
"Hon, you know I love you to death," I started off hesitantly. "But I still feel I have an unfulfilled sex life," I said carefully, trying my best not to piss her off.
"Steve, we do it at least four to five times a week, how much more do you want? If you'd just win the lottery we could spend our days in bed, but until that time we still both have to go to work," she told me looking at me more intensely.
"It's not how often we do it..." is all I got out of my mouth when the wrath of God came down on me.
"Oh shit, it's not about blow jobs again is it? I thought we were done with that," she said raising her voice. "I thought we beat that horse to death. How many more times do you plan on bringing it up?" Deb asked me now looking angry as hell. "Steve, read my lips, I am not going to do it, not now, not ever."
At that point Deb started slamming cupboards and drawers until she heard the ding from the microwave. Grabbing her plate she tossed it on the table and just glared at me, almost daring me to say something.
"Well?" she finally said burning a hole through me with her eyes.
"Well what?" I replied.
"Have we finally put this issue to rest?" she asked.
"I guess I know where you stand if that's what you mean," I told her. If I want a blow job I guess I'll just have to get it from someone else."
"Do that and I'll cut the damn thing off and give it back to you gift wrapped," she shouted back at me.
When I didn't reply she gave a look that would strike fear into the toughest Marine.
"Son of a bitch," she yelled standing up. "You son of a bitch," she said throwing her plate of food at me. "You've already done it with someone else haven't you?" she now screamed at me. "Get out, get the hell out of my sight before I kill you," she said throwing everything on the table at me as I moved trying my best not to get hit.
"Deb, let me explain," I tried to say but it was way beyond the talking stage now.
"You cheating bastard, get the hell out of my apartment," she continued to yell as she looked for anything else she could throw at me.
At that point I decided to leave, at least for now, to let her cool down. I grabbed my jacket and keys before making my escape.
Tony's was almost empty as I sat my ass on a seat at the bar. The first Miller went right down as I ordered another. I nursed this one for the better part of a half hour as I watched the time slowly creep by. What was I thinking? Or maybe that was the problem, I wasn't. Well it was all out in the open now, and where we were headed was anyone's guess.
I snuck back into the apartment sometime after 1:00 AM. I tried to turn the knob on our bedroom door but found it locked, I wasn't surprised. I grabbed a blanket and pillow out of the hall closet and headed for the guest room. When I hit the light I saw it; Deb had been busy. All my clothes had been tossed on the bed, or at least in the vicinity of the bed. Clothes, shoes, toiletries and any other personal items I'd had in our bedroom were now piled on the bed. It took me the better part of an hour to hang everything up and put the rest of the shit away. By 2:30 I was still awake looking up at a dark ceiling wondering what tomorrow morning would bring.
Debby never said a word. She came down stairs dressed, grabbed her keys and walked out the door as I sat at the kitchen table watching her. I don't know what I expected after last night. I thought at the least she'd throw an insult or two at me before leaving but that didn't happen.
Work sucked, I just couldn't get my head around anything. I must have downed a dozen cups of coffee before lunch as I started jotting down things I knew were eventually going to come up. I wasn't going to admit to anything just yet and was sure Deb didn't have a clue about Beth.
I debated about going home right after work. Maybe I should wait a couple of hours and let her adjust to me not being there, so I stopped at Tony's for a quick one.
"God, I hopped she would at least hear me out before going nuts on me again tonight," I thought to myself as I drove home. To my surprise Deb wasn't even home herself. I checked the answer machine but there was no message. "Now what?"
I fixed myself something to eat, had a couple of beers and finally crashed just after 12:00. I heard Deb come in just before 1:00 and peeked out the door. The look she gave me said it all, as she went into our bedroom and slammed the door. I went back to bed and for the second night in a row I counted the specks on the ceiling until I fell asleep.
Deb was still in her room when I left for work. I finally got up the nerve to text her on her cell but never got a reply.
Deb wasn't home when I got there just after 6:00 and like the previous night there was no message. I texted her saying that we needed to talk but got back a short reply saying that she had nothing to say to me. I was at a stalemate. I wanted to work it out with her but I'd decided that I wasn't going back to my old sex life.
She avoided me every night until I forced the issue Saturday. I was up early, something about not being able to sleep very well anymore, when Deb came downstairs dressed and looking to make her escape again. This time however, she was going nowhere. I had taken her car keys from the rack by the door.
I just sat there quietly sipping on my coffee watching her look high and low until she realized I must have them.
"Give me my damn keys," she yelled at me.
"No," I replied looking down at my cup.
"Steve, where are my damn keys?" she said for the second time.
"Deb, we need to talk," is how I started before she blew up at me.
"I've heard enough of your lies and bullshit. There's nothing you can say that will make any difference to me anymore. So if you don't mind, I've got an appointment," she said in a matter of fact voice. I tossed Deb her car keys as I watched her give me an ugly look before walking out and slamming the door.
"I guess I got nothing more than I deserved," I told myself as I started packing my shit. I was really surprised how little I had. Between my clothes and personal items I barely filled six boxes. I left all the 'joint' items like our wedding pictures, CD's, DVD's and such. I guess we'll have to split those items down the road. I packed up my Expedition and headed out to find some place to set up house.
The Motel 6 by my office was a logical choice. It was five minutes from work and the price of the room included the full breakfast bar. I could only get out $250.00 from the ATM but made myself a note to draw out fifty percent of our savings first thing Monday morning. I was going to hit Tony's again tonight, but after putting everything away I wasn't really in the mood so I had a Corona and called it a night.
As I fed my face the following morning I turned my phone back on. I had seven calls and texts from Deb calling me every name in the book.
"You piece of slime, you really have no backbone do you? You sneak out of the apartment without so much as a note, you weasel. If that's the way you want it, so be it," and that was the nicest one of the seven.
The worst part about it, I had no one to blame but myself. I let it go on too long before I said anything. It should have come to a head before we even got married and I blame myself for that. "Well, it's better we end it now then drag it on for another couple more years," or so I thought to myself. We had no kids and besides the apartment, we only had a credit card or two. We each owned our own vehicles so a divorce should be a slam-dunk. I figured I'd let Deb file and save myself a few bucks. Every day I waited to be served, but the papers never came. It wasn't like I was hiding, I still went to work, hung out with my friends sometimes and everyone knew where I was currently living.
My parents pleaded with me to make up with Deb, but I told them, that wasn't going to happen.
"You know if you get divorced, you'll never be able to get married in the church again," my mom informed me. "The vows say until death do you part, and in God's eyes you two are still married."
