Not Quite an Indecent Proposal

John walks over to the table where his friend Eric is sitting and puts 3 napkins in front of him on the table.

"Read it and weep; three phone numbers from three very beautiful women all in just one trip over to the bar to order a drink." John said.

"Big deal...phone numbers are easy. If you're so good do something that nobody else can." Eric said.

"Like what?" John asked.

"I don't know...something that most guys wouldn't even try." Eric said.

"Okay...I've got it. I'll bet you that I can get any woman in this place to give me her panties." John said.

"No way." Eric said.

"I've got $1,000 that says I can." John said.

He pulled out his money clip and showed Eric the money.

"Okay, I'll call your bluff. Prove it." Eric said.

He pulled out his own money clip and showed his money to John.

"Shall I pick the girl or would you like to?" John asked.

Eric smiled.

"Oh I want to pick her alright. I can't make things easy on you by picking a slut. Okay...let's see...oh...there we go. That's the one...the redhead over at the table in the corner." Eric said.

"The one sitting with a guy that is probably her husband?" John asked.

"That's the one." Eric said.

Eric smiled.

"No problem. Have my money ready...I'll be right back." John said.

John gets up, goes to the bar, and orders 3 glasses of champagne to be taken to the table. The waiter takes the champagne over to the table.

"Excuse me, we didn't order this." Tom said.

"I did. I thought it would be appropriate for a toast." John said.

"Who are you?" Lisa asked.

"My name is John and who might you be?" John asked.

"I'm Tom and this is my wife Lisa." Tom said.

"A pleasure to meet you both. Newlyweds?" John asked.

"How did you know that?" Lisa asked.

"All the signs are there. You're both young, you both keep kissing and touching one another, and you my dear keep looking down at your ring as if to make sure that it's real and you aren't just dreaming." John said.

"Wow, you're very observant. So what's this about a toast?" Lisa asked.

"Oh yes. To the happy couple...may a lifetime of love and happiness follow you home from your honeymoon in Las Vegas." John said.

They all raise their glasses and drink the toast.

"That was actually a better toast than my best man's." Tom said.

"He no doubt was able to make it much more personal since he knows you, whereas I am someone that you just met." John said.

"Yes, about that, why did you come over here?" Lisa asked.

"Several reasons. Number one I wanted to congratulate you on your marriage; it is such a wonderful thing to find someone to spend the rest of your life with. Secondly I was curious about how you're making out in the casinos. Newlyweds don't tend to do very well because all the thoughts of love and happiness are very distracting." John said.

Tom and Lisa look at John in disbelief.

"Am I to assume that you have not done very well?" John asked.

"We're down $1,500." Lisa said.

"Money that we probably shouldn't have spent on gambling. I don't know how we're going to get out of this little hole we've dug ourselves into." Tom said.

"So $1,500 is a significant amount of money for you?" John asked.

"It's almost 2 months rent where we live." Lisa said.

"Then that is definitely a significant amount of money. Would you be interested in getting $1,000 of that money back?" John asked.

He looked Lisa up and down.

"Listen pal we don't go for that Indecent Proposal stuff...and certainly not for a measly $1,000." Tom said.

"Oh no, I think there's been a misunderstanding. I would never offer to buy sexual favors from another man's wife. But there is something that Lisa has that I would gladly give you $1,000 cash for right now." John said.

"And just what in the hell is that?" Tom asked.

John looked at Tom and then looked at Lisa.

"Her panties." John said.

"What kind of sick freak are you?" Tom asked.

John is about to respond but Lisa speaks first.

"You would really give us $1,000 for the panties that I have on right now?" Lisa asked.

"Yes I would." John said.

"Show me the money." Lisa said.

"Lisa what are you doing?" Tom asked.

"I'm trying to get back some of the money we lost. $1,000 seems like a fair price for a silly pair of panties. So if he's got the cash he can have them." Lisa said.

John pulls out his money clip and counts out 10 $100 bills and puts them on the table in front of Tom and Lisa.

"This is just for the panties right? Nothing else?" Lisa asked.

"Just the panties." John said.

"Okay. Excuse me for a minute." Lisa said.

Lisa got up from the table and headed to the bathroom.

"Okay so man to man what the fuck are you going to do with my wife's panties?" Tom asked.

"A friend of mine over there bet me $1,000 that I couldn't get them. So when I collect the $1,000 on the bet it will end up where he paid you for them." John said.

"So you aren't some sicko that's going to jerk off with them or something?" Tom asked.

"Nope. In fact if she wants them back she can have them once I collect on the bet." John said.

Lisa comes back with a small black ball in her hand. She holds her hand out to John and hands him the panties. He discreetly checks to be sure that they really are panties and not some other piece of cloth. He finds that the crotch is damp.

"See...there you go. Now you're only $500 in the hole and all it cost you was a pair of panties. Have a great evening, enjoy the rest of your honeymoon here in Las Vegas and hopefully that toast will come true." John said.

John gets up from the table, walks back over to Eric, and takes the money that Eric is holding out.

"I guess I should have specified that you couldn't buy them. How much did they cost you?" Eric asked.

"They didn't cost me a dime. They cost you $1,000." John said.

"No wonder she gave them to you so quickly if you paid her $1,000 for them." Eric said.