Not on the List (in 750 Words)

"It's about time you got home! Why didn't you call and tell me you were going to be late? Dinner was ready hours ago.

"Hey! Are you even listening to me? I'm talking to you!"

"Oh!" I exclaimed, a little surprised to find myself in our house. "Hi dear. I didn't notice you there."

"Don't 'Hi dear' me. Where have you been? Why didn't you call? You had me worried!"

"I'm sorry. I had the strangest conversation today and I'm still trying to come to terms with it."

"A conversation? Who were you talking to instead of coming home? What were you talking about?"

"Do you remember Theresa?"

"You don't mean that child that lived next door to our first apartment, do you? The one who had a crush on you?"

"She was 17 and a high school senior, so not really a child. Besides, we were only 21, so not even that much older than her, but yeah, that Theresa. It was my turn to make the afternoon caffeine run and I bumped into her at the coffee shop."

"So you spent hours talking to her instead of going back to work or coming home?"

"Oh, no, I only talked to her for about 5 minutes while waiting for the coffee."

"Then why are you just getting home now, so many hours later?"

"It took a long time to try and process what was said in those 5 minutes."

"Well, what did she say?"

"She told me that she still has a crush on me and wanted me to take her out on a date once the divorce is final."

"Divorce? Since when are we getting divorced?"

"Yeah, that kind of threw me as well. Let me back up and tell you the whole story."

"Hey Charlie. I've missed you since you moved. How are you doing?"

"I'm doing well Theresa. Between my job and a bit of home repair, I'm keeping busy. How are you doing?"

"I'm keeping busy as well. I'm in nursing school now. I also work part time at the health department while still living with Mom to cut costs. You should stop by and visit us some time. In fact, once your divorce is final, you should come by and pick me up for a date. I'm still single and you know I've had a thing for you since the day you moved in next door."

"What? I'm not getting divorced."

I was shocked as the happy look on her face morphed into disgust. "So, you're one of those, are you? Does she have you wearing a cage too?" Before I could respond, she had grabbed my manhood through my slacks. I don't think she was expecting what she found, because the sneer was quickly replaced by a look of shock and she blushed as my cock started to swell in her grip. She gave it a couple of loving squeezes before realizing what she was doing. "Oh! Well, whatever. I hope you're both happy." Her expression changed again, turning to sadness as she turned to walk away.

I grabbed her shoulder and turned her back around. "What are you going on about? I haven't understood a single thing since 'Hello.' Why do you think I'm getting divorced? You can't lay that on me, squeeze my dick, and then just walk away."

She looked a bit bashful and dropped her head, not able to look at me as she answered. "You weren't on her list, so I assumed you were separated. I just figured the divorce must not be final since she was still using your last name."

"What list? I still have no clue what you're talking about."

Her sad look perked up a bit as she looked up at me again. "Her sexual contacts list. When she was diagnosed with an STI, she had to provide a list of all of her sexual partners to the health department so they could be notified to get tested. She didn't list you."

"After dropping off the coffees I made a quick trip to the doctor's office where they were kind enough to slip me in for testing without an appointment. Then I went out to the lake and listened to the waves crash into the shore while I pondered the life choices before me."

My wife was suddenly looking nervous as she asked, "So, what did you decide?"

"I think I'll take her to that new Italian place we've talked about and then dancing."