It was the trip my wife and I had been planning for a year. We were soon to celebrate our 25th anniversary and had decided to splurge on our selves. I loved golf and Gloria, my wife, had been an accomplished equestrian back in college. We were both going to enjoy our hobbies during the day and dine and relax in the evenings.
Even after having two children, Gloria still looked great at 46. She was just a couple inches over 5 feet and I doubt if she weighed more than 115. Any weight she had added over the years was in the right places. I am a year shy of 50 and in decent shape, for a guy that enjoys a cold beer. Our kids were both grown, finished with college, and on their own. We were finally able to concentrate on us and we were determined to enjoy our time together.
We checked in the hotel in the early afternoon and spend the rest of the day unpacking and touring the hotel. It was going to be an expensive two-week stay, but we both felt we had earned the right to luxuriate for that period. We had a great dinner in the hotel restaurant and returned to our room.
Gloria began reading through the hotel brochure and found something that gave her an idea.
“Let’s go try the hot tub,” she suggested. “It says there as several and they are very modern and comfortable, and set well back from the indoor pool. Who knows? If it is real quiet, you may get a little lucky!”
That was all I needed to hear. I was in my suit and ready to head down to the tub area in a couple minutes. Gloria came out of the bathroom in a very sexy suit I had never seen before. It was a bikini bottom with a top that was low cut but came down to her bottoms. She had nice C-cup tits and they were showing. Gloria always said a woman in her forties should not dress like a 20 something, but this outfit looked great! It was the sexiest I had seen her dress since college. We donned robes and headed down with a cooler filled with drinks.
There were a couple hot tubs and they were set back away from the pool some distance. We were enjoying a drink and relaxing all by ourselves. Gloria had her hand in my trunks and I was responding. I reached over and tugged one side of her top down and a very lovely tit was showing. She protested slightly, but I noticed she left it out. I was just going to slip it into my mouth when I heard a voice.
“Hello! Mind if we join you?”
I turned to see a couple about our age standing next to the tub. The guy was grinning like the cat that got the cream as Gloria quickly packed her boob back into her top. The woman was tall and big boned. I guessed her weight around 150 and it looked good on her frame. She was wearing a one-piece suit with a French cut that accentuated the length and shape of her legs. A second glance showed the man with her had a bit of a beer belly, a full head of hair, and a pleasant smile.
I concealed my disappointment and annoyance at the interruption and smiled back and responded, “Come right in. The water is fine!”
Gloria was still blushing as they stepped into the tub. It was obvious they had seen her exposed tit as they approached the tub.
“I am Alice, and this grinning monkey is my husband, Jim,” the woman offered. “I wanted to try the other tub and let you folks enjoy some privacy, but a bunch of teenagers passed by us and climbed in. We had to interrupt you, sit and listen to teens babble about all kinds of dumb shit, or go back to our room. Jim made up his mind to stay when he saw your lovely tit.”
Now Gloria was as red as a fire truck! The frank admission from Alice caught her by surprise. Most people would have pretended they had seen nothing.
Whether it was the beer I had been drinking or just the vacation mood I had finally adopted, I can’t say, but I found myself appreciating Alice’s candor and Jim’s approval of my sexy wife.
“I am Lance,” I replied, “and the red-faced lady with the nice tits is my wife, Gloria. You surprised us, but this is a public tub and we should be more considerate of others.”
“If Gloria were any more considerate I would have creamed my pants!” allowed Jim.
It was now obvious that the couple that had just joined us enjoyed sexual banter in the most open terms. I had dealt with it as a foreman in a utility company for years and could give and take as well as anyone. Gloria, on the other hand, was a schoolteacher and never encouraged crudeness. I wondered if she would find Alice and Jim too coarse for her liking.
I had to smile when Gloria finally found her voice and answered, “I would have to ask that you go take a shower before you get in the tub if that were the case. We don’t want any little swimmers in here, do we?”
Alice, Jim, and I all broke into laughter.
“Don’t worry about Jim, Gloria,” offered Alice. “He has been shooting blanks for 18 years now, since my last ‘surprise’ pregnancy. His swimmers drowned!”
“Then I guess we are both safe,” responded Gloria. “Lance hasn’t been a threat since 1982. We had a son and a daughter before we finally realized what was causing it. Lance made the ultimate sacrifice.”
“Right,” agreed Alice. “They both took a day out of their life so they could get laid every day the rest of it. Why do men think it is such a sacrifice? They should try having a baby!”
“Ladies, I propose a toast to birth control,” Jim announced as he handed a wine cooler to Alice and opened a beer for himself. We all laughed and took a pull on our drinks.
The conversation was light and I could see that Gloria was enjoying the company. She had already been more open than I was accustomed to her being.
Another couple approached our tub, but I saw them coming this time.
“Come on in and sit a spell!” I offered. “This is Alice and Jim. I am Lance and the lady next to me is my wife, Gloria.”
The man was tall and thin with an air of authority. The lady with him was average in height and very attractive and tanned. I guessed her to be around 40 and the man close to my age.
“Thank you for the kindness,” she answered. “I am Nancy and this is my husband, Horse.
The rest of us looked at each other to see if we had heard correctly. We all had the same puzzled look on our faces. As they settled into the tub, Nancy cleared the confusion.
“His real name is some Norwegian word no one can pronounce, but sounds like Horse, so everyone has always called him that,” she revealed.
Horse and Nancy had brought their own drinks so we settled into a small festive party in the tub. By now it was full and Horse’s long legs seemed to take up the entire center. The tub had a couple seats that were higher and he had taken one of those. The water was just above his navel.
After another hour, no one was feeling any pain when Alice turned the conversation back to names.
“Do you use Horse on your mail and in signatures?” she asked.
Horse smiled and answered, “No, I use Sven.”
“Doesn’t it seem like it would be easier and require fewer explanations if you would use that name all the time?” she persisted.
Nancy laughed at the question and responded before Horse could say anything.
“I just tell that story to keep questions to a minimum. His real name is Sven and he is Norwegian, but he has been called Horse since he was a teen,” she laughed. “A widow with a bit of a reputation gave the nickname to him when he was 15.”
“This explanation gets stranger and stranger,” Gloria opined.
“He was doing some odd jobs for her after school. He was a big kid,” continued Nancy. “Long story short, the widow seduced Horse and a legend was born. She told everyone ‘that boy is hung like a damn horse’ and it became his nickname.”
“Wow! What a great reason to have a nickname, Horse!” chuckled Jim. “Maybe I should have been prouder when everyone called me the jackass!”
“Are you telling us that your husband has a horse cock?” asked Alice. She impressed me with her bluntness.
“That is exactly what I am saying, Alice. That is what attracted me to him those many years ago,” she admitted. “It was a bit awkward explaining his name to my parents, though! That is why I originally came up with the Norwegian bullshit story. It was just easier.”
I had just met Alice a couple hours before, but I realized that for a big girl, she couldn’t hold her drink very well.
“Just how the hell big is it?” she demanded. “This is a subjective thing. One man’s horse is another’s pony.”
“Oh, I think he is a horse by any standard you would devise,” stated Nancy confidently. “Even doctors and nurses are amazed. Especially nurses!”
“Well, I am from Missouri,” replied Alice quickly.
“Alice, for God’s sake!” interjected Jim. “We can take Nancy’s word on this!”
Nancy had her hands under the water in Horse’s direction. He appeared to lift his ass a little and she soon produced his suit for all to see.
“Here, Alice. Trade places with me and find out for yourself,” she challenged. “I have run into a Doubting Thomas or two before. The proof of the pudding is in the tasting!”
“I didn’t say anything about tasting it,” replied Alice as she stood to take Nancy’s spot. “I do want to find out for myself.”
With that she sat next to Horse, who had a huge grin on his face. We watched Alice lean toward Horse with her hand under the water. It wasn’t long before she had her answer.
“Jesus!” she exclaimed. “It isn’t even hard and it is long as a snake. I wonder how big it gets!”
