"We have to talk." My wife sat down opposite me, with an aggressive expression on her face.
"No," I shook my head. "We really don't. But if we must, let me get a beer, since experience tells me I'll be listening more than talking." As she gave a snort of disgust, I walked out to the kitchen to fetch a beer. "Do you want one," I asked as I grabbed two for me. It was likely to be a long discussion.
"NO! Would you get out here, please?" I knew my wife; she had her ducks lined up and she was afraid if I took too long, she'd screw up the delivery. As I sat down, she began, "We haven't had sex in over two years, and..."
"Wait! That was your choice, not mine." I took a sip of beer, relishing the cool liquid.
"It was not my choice! You couldn't keep it up and you stopped trying, you limp fucking dick!" My wife was free with her endearments.
"It was that smell you developed and refused to deal with, that took away my erections." I shook my head. "I get plenty of erections when you're not around."
She huffed. "Yeah, right. Like I believe that." She sat up straight and picked at a piece of lint on her dress. "Well, I want to have sex, so Friday, I'm going on a date. And if all goes well, I won't be back until Sunday night."
"Good." I sipped some more beer.
"Good! That's all you can say, Good?", she sneered. "You are a fucking limp dick."
"Delilah, I don't care what you do. I have no interest in you, at all, anymore. I've done what I can, and you've made it clear that you want nothing to do with me." More beer. Maybe I'd get drunk. Something good should come of this discussion.
"What? You've done what you can? What have you done? You've done nothing but roll over and go to sleep. You're worthless in bed." Her expression now was pure hate.
"You know, I asked you to take care of that atrocious smell, but you..." I began.
"I went to the gynecologist! She said that there was no smell. You're just making it up." She accused me.
"I'm making it up?" I said quietly. "I can tell when you've peed in the toilet. The room smells of you. And if you fluff the sheets at night, I get overwhelmed by the gust of rot that floats out from your crotch."
She glared at me. I prepared myself for her slap, but it never came. Instead, she gave me a mean smile and said, "You're a pathetic, impotent little man. I don't know why I ever married you."
"I don't know, probably my money." I picked at the beer bottle's label. "And you know I've tried. Last year, I went to my doctor and got that prescription for sildenafil. We went to bed, and I held my breath, but what did you do."
"I rubbed your wiener until it was mostly hard and then I spread my legs for you." She regarded her nails.
"Yeah, you spread your knees 6 inches apart and claimed your hips hurt if you spread any further. And you refused to change position, just laid there on your back." I had to calm myself. I was determined not to get emotional. "I had to push against your fat thighs and could barely get the tip of my dick in before I ran out of leverage. I was so disgusted by the whole experience that even the chemicals couldn't keep me erect." I looked at her, unable to keep the hurt and the remembrance of the humiliation out of my eyes. "And you laid there and laughed, before rolling away and going to sleep. I was left with nothing but that smell."
"Yeah, well, whatever. I intend to get laid by a real man, so I'm going away this weekend." She gave me a smirk, daring me to argue.