No Way Honey: Jan

Hi everyone,

I thought that was it for today, but I just had a great idea and wrote this little tale.

It just flowed out.

Two in one day ___ not bad.

Hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Sorry __ No sex at all. Not even a kiss.

*

The party, if you could call it that, had not long begun.

It was not so much a party as a gathering to say good-by to out next-door neighbors who were moving away up North.

We'd been friends and neighbors for the last four years, and Mick had been promoted and had to move up to Manchester to take up his new appointment. We would all miss him and Mary his wife, but equally were happy for them as the new job promised so much.

My wife Jan and I had got to know them both really well, especially the two women who had become best friends. I thought Jan was taking their moving away really hard, but these things happen, and life moves on.

We'd invited most of the immediate neighbors, along with Mary's parents who lived nearby, and even Mick's new boss was there, which was pretty good really, as he'd see what a nice guy he was, and how much his old friends thought of him. Any excuse for a party, but it was nice to be able to give a pal a lift in his new career.

Oh, and Jan's parents were there as well. They hardly knew our friends of course, but were staying with us for the week so made up the number.

Mary was a very attractive woman, and a few of the guys joked that our new neighbor's wife would probably turn out to be a hag. Maybe? We'd find out, as they hadn't sold their house yet, and anyway, I had my lovely wife who's beauty still stunned me from time to time. We'd been married seven years, and were still just as much in love as we had been the day we were married. The sex had moderated just a little, but with two kids to contend with that wasn't a surprise. When we did do it, it was good ____ very good.

I looked over at my wife, and as if by magic she returned my glance. Somehow we had that magic connection that a close marriage can give you. Sometimes we were like one entity, controlled by just one brain. We both smiled. That was all that was needed; it said it all. We were simply a happy, contented, married couple.

Our oldest Tom came buzzing by, and charged over to his Grandfather, leaping on his lap, almost spilling his drink. Then the youngest, Lilly breezed in as if she owned the place. Sometimes it seemed as if the household revolved around her, and I guess we spoiled her a bit. But she wasn't the sort of child to take advantage, and when she sat on my lap I could have forgiven her anything. Four years old, blonde and pretty. Who could resist her, certainly not me.

"I'll get the nibbles," said my wife, standing up, and making for the kitchen.

I offered to help, but she told me she was OK, grinning all over her face as she watched Lilly cuddle up against me as she disappeared from sight.

"Well," I asked Lilly. "Are you going to miss Auntie Mary?"

"Yes," she replied. "I wish you weren't going Auntie Mary. Please come back and see us."

"Of course I will," responded Mary, almost breaking into tears as she realized quite how much she would miss her best friend's children.

"And will you miss Uncle Mick?" I demanded, playing to the audience, showing off quite how cute my little daughter could be.

"NO!" Said my little daughter to my complete surprise. "I like uncle Mick, but I am glad he is going now."

"Lilly," I reprimanded her angrily. "That is no way to talk to uncle Mick ____ Go and say sorry to him you naughty little girl."

Lilly jumped off my lap and ran over to Mick and gave him a big kiss. "Sorry Uncle Mick," she told him. "I love you really."

Mick kissed her back and threw her playfully up in the air. "And I love you to, pumpkin. I'll miss you terribly."

"And Mummy will miss playing with you every Tuesday uncle Mick," said my innocent little girl.

SILENCE

Nobody said anything.

"Sorry Daddy," said Lilly, turning to me. "I do love Uncle Mick, but I am glad he is going because I don't like him playing with Mummy when you're not here."

"Lilly ___ Mummy made us promise not to tell daddy," Butted in my five year old son.

"Yes Tommy, but now Uncle Mick is going, so we can tell Daddy, can't we?" Lilly replied.

"Where do Mick and Mummy play?" I asked my daughter, my voice betraying the shock that I had received.

"Oh, only in the bedroom Daddy," She answered immediately. "They don't really get in our way at all."

An icy silence descended on the room, as the two children laughed and joked while the adults studiously avoided one another's gaze.

"Bloody hell," sounded off Nick eventually, one of our neighbors.

"Shut up Nick," his wife responded angrily, standing up, grabbing her husband by the arm and dragging him out.

One other couple followed them, but the others never made a move, maybe too stunned to quite take in what had been revealed.

"Well I think I'd better be going," spoke up Mick's new boss. "You'd better give me a ring on Monday Mick,' he said. "I'm not sure where this leaves us."

"Dave," interjected Mick. " Don't think..."

"Don't say a word Mick," butted in his boss. "Just ring me on Monday and we'll see were we go from there."

"You bastard," screamed Mary at Mick at last, finally finding her voice. "How could you ____ with my so called best friend as well ____ you bastards ____ the pair of you."

With that she stood up, and fled from the house, closely followed by Mick, swinging her handbag at him as he tried to pull her back.

"Don't think you're staying in our house tonight you bloody adulterer," were the last words we heard.

Mary's parents quietly followed them out.

Silence descended again, as our neighbors and friends cautiously glanced at one another, wondering who would be the first one to have the nerve to say something.

Nobody did, and not one of them met my gaze.

*

"Here we are, nibbles for everyone," Jan, my wife announced breezily as she burst happily back into the room. "Come on eat up, before my greedy husband takes all the best bits."

She ground to a halt as she sensed the mood. Put down the two plates of food and looked cautiously round her.

Both her parents avoided her inquisitive look, as did I.

"What's up," Jan demanded. "Where is everyone, where have they gone. Where are Mick and Mary?"

"How could you Jan?" Asked her Mother stiffly. "How could you let us down like this?"

"Hi Mummy," cried Lilly. "It's Ok, Uncle Mick has gone."

She looked at me with fear in her eyes, asking me what had happened, to please help her out.

No way honey ___ No bloody way.

Jan stared around the room, totally confused, her face losing all its colour.

"What's up," she demanded. "Why is everybody looking at me like that?"

*

Don't ask me what happened afterwards ___ I've no idea.

Whatever you think is fine by me.

If you don't like it, please just don't vote. I am trying my best you know. If you did like it, how about a five. I really need another 'h' to keep me going.