Nighttime Confessions Too

Author's Note: This is a continuation of Nighttime Confessions. It can probably stand on its own, but might make better sense if you have read the earlier story first.

This is not a stroke story. There is very little sex and a lot of emphasis on emotions. If you don't like this type of story save yourself time and go elsewhere. I had a lot of fun with these characters. I hope you like it. As always, your feedback is gratefully appreciated.

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After sixteen years of marriage, even a week of playing bachelor can get old. As my alarm went off Thursday morning, I reached over to shut it off and, without thought, rolled back over to give Meg a hug and kiss before getting up to shower.

But she wasn't there. She was at the Athletic Association Conference and wouldn't be getting back until Saturday. With the kids away at camp for another two weeks, I was alone in the house. So, I groaned, stretched and started the process of making myself presentable. I was going to have a hard time getting up the energy to make it into the office again today.

It's strange. Usually, I have no problem getting ready to go into work. I enjoy my job and look forward to the challenges that I face each day. But this last week has been difficult. I've found it hard to go into work when I knew that Meg was away at a high-class resort enjoying the conference.

I envied her. It felt like she was away on vacation while I was stuck at home. I'm not sure why this week was different. Meg is a teacher so I have gotten used to her getting to sleep in while I went to work during school breaks. Nevertheless, the thought of playing hooky flashed through my mind.

As I drove in to work that morning, I realized that what was making me envious was Meg's excitement during our daily phone conversations. She wasn't telling me about the meetings and sessions, she was talking about the fun she was having with Judy and her friends as they made the round of the afternoon and nighttime activities.

Her call the day before had been a prime example. When she left for the conference she was convinced that her boss Frank was going to try to seduce her. We had talked about it and came up with a strategy for dealing with Frank if he did try something. By yesterday's call, she had decided that Frank had given up on his plans so she was free to enjoy the remainder of the conference in peace. The rest of the phone call was a blur, she went on and on about her plans in great excitement. She was so happy and excited that I could barely get a word in edgewise.

I don't think she even thought about how I would react. I was happy she was having a good time, but deep down I resented the fact that she could have such a good time without me. It sounded like she had forgotten that she was a wife and mother. I wondered if she thought about me at all once she hung up the phone.

A further irritation came from her companions. During our call on Tuesday, she had talked about what a good time she had had dancing the past few nights. When I asked her whom she was dancing with, she rattled off the names of four guys, Phil, Wayne, Sam and Art. It turns out that her new group of friends was four men and three women. Not only was she out having a good time, she was getting wined and dined by some guys that I didn't know. I trusted Meg, but there was something about the whole situation that caused my hackles to rise. Did they act like four couples when they were out together?

In short, I was jealous. I was bothered by the good time that Meg was having with her new friends while I was stuck working. I was bothered by the fact that it did not appear that she missed me at all. My ego was hurting. Could I be forgotten and replaced that easily?

As I sat in traffic, I thought about how I was feeling and felt foolish. I had no reason to be envious or suspicious of Meg. I was just getting burnt out and in need of a vacation myself. It had been a long time since I had gotten away from the office for more than a day or two. I needed to get away. I was going to talk to my boss that morning, get the next week off and surprise Meg with an impromptu vacation. It was time to dust off the camping equipment, haul out the canoe and revisit some old haunts.

I knew just the trip to take; a route through the lakes, rivers and ponds of the Adirondack Mountains in upstate New York. It was a leisurely paddle that Meg and I have enjoyed in the past. The route was not well traveled and the chances of spotting wildlife and a variety of waterfowl were excellent. However, the best part of the trip was the fact that there were plenty of private campsites. I wanted to spend some quality time alone with Meg before Brad and Sarah got back from summer camp.

When I got into the office, I went to see my boss Jim Thompson. To my relief, he was willing to give me the week off even on such short notice. He smiled at me and said, "for God's sake Don, it's about time you figured it out. You need a break. You've been snapping at people all summer and that's not like you."

"I know Jim," I replied with a sigh. "Between the conference that my wife is at, Sarah's gymnastic camp and Brad's soccer camp, this summer has been crazy. I didn't think I was going to be able to afford to take the time off so I have been trying to gut it out.

"On the way in today I realized how jealous I was of Meg being at that conference. When I start getting jealous because she gets to go to a conference for her job, then I'm beginning to lose it. I figured I'd better take a vacation before I do something stupid."

Jim laughed and told me to enjoy myself. "Take that pretty wife of your away for a while and show her some attention. If you don't watch out someone is going to steal her away from you!"

I laughed at Jim's comment and went back to my office to start my day, but his comment struck a nerve. It seemed a little too close to my worries from earlier that day. Was she missing me?

Later that afternoon, I called Meg for our daily chat. But as soon as she picked up the phone, I could tell that her mood had shifted radically from the day before. She sounded jumpy and her mind wasn't on our conversation. After talking with her for a few minutes, it was obvious that something was bothering her.

" Meg, what's going on? Is something wrong?" I queried.

"What? No. Nothing's wrong. I'm just tired." She stammered. "Are you getting tired of cooking for yourself yet?"

I knew something was up. For the last three days our phone conversations had been about the conference and what a good time she was having. Now she wouldn't talk to me. "Meg, don't try to change the subject. Something is bothering you, I can tell. What's wrong? Did something happen today?"

"Don, there is nothing wrong. Nothing happened. I told you, I'm just tired. I couldn't get to sleep last night. I had a lot on my mind and couldn't get comfortable without you to cuddle into."

"What was bothering you? You were so happy yesterday. Did something happen to you after our conversation?" I pressed. "Shit, did Frank try to hit on you again? I'll kill him".

"No, I told you its nothing. Frank has been a perfect gentleman. I just got to thinking about us and started to miss you."

"Meg.. . ."

"Look," she interrupted harshly. "Drop it, please. I told you it was nothing for you to worry about."

Meg caught herself and went on in a softer tone. "I promise, I'll tell you all about it when I get home. Can we talk about something else?"

I knew I wasn't going to get anything else out of her right then. After sixteen years of marriage, I have learned that when Meg doesn't want to talk about something, it's not going to happen. All I could do is hope that whatever was bothering her was not major and would keep until she got home. I gave in and changed the subject.

"So tell me, what's on tap for today. Any special plans?" I asked.

"I don't know." She replied softly. "I'm supposed to get together with Judy, Dee Dee and Rachel, but I'm not sure if I'm going to go. I might just take a nap."

"What about tonight? Are you heading out for another night of dinner, drinking and dancing with the guys?" I asked sarcastically.

As soon as the words left my mouth, I regretted saying them. I knew that the tone of voice I used was bitter, but I couldn't help myself. I wasn't happy that she wouldn't talk to me about what was going on and I didn't like the idea of her going out with a group of guys I didn't know.

"What do you mean?" She yelped, picking up on my tone of voice. "Are you accusing me of something? You sound as if you are jealous."

"I know," I sighed. "I think I am jealous. It's just that all I have heard about since you got to the conference is what a great time you are having with your new friends. All day long I've been sitting here missing you and, I know its stupid, but I'm feeling left out and sorry for myself. I just can't stop worrying about these other guys and the good times you are having with them.

"I'm sorry. I'm not accusing you of anything. I love you and trust you too much for that. I know that you would never do anything to hurt our marriage. Just forget I said anything."

When I finished, Meg didn't say anything for a long time. When she did speak, her voice was full of emotion. "Don Prescott," she choked, "you're not being stupid, I love you for worrying about me. Don't you ever forget that I love you more than anything! You are the only man that I have ever loved and nothing will ever change that. You have no reason to be jealous because there is no-one who could ever mean as much to me as you do."

After that we said our good byes and hung up. As I put down the phone, I thought I heard Meg bursting into tears, but I couldn't be sure. All I could do is stare at the phone. That had been one of the strangest calls that I had ever had.

It was obvious that something was bothering Meg but there was nothing I could do about it until she got home. I was feeling uneasy. Her reaction to my jealousy seemed out of character. I expected her to laugh at my concerns and tease me about it. Instead, she had broken out in tears and told me not to be jealous. Was she feeling guilty about something? And she never did tell me what her plans were for going out with her gentleman friends.

To keep myself occupied, I threw myself into getting ready for our canoe trip. I decided to surprise Meg with the trip. By Saturday morning, I had picked up all the necessary supplies and everything was packed including her gear. I was going to pick her up at the airport and head directly out to the Adirondacks.

We did talk on Friday, but the conversation was short and strained at times. The only things she wanted to talk about were the meetings that she had been to that day. She didn't say word one about our conversation from the day before. She also avoided my questions on what she had done the prior night or what she planned on doing that day. I wasn't sure if she was being considerate by not rubbing my nose in the fun she was having or if she was hiding something.

She did give me some big news however. Meg had been asked to become a member of the state competition committee. This was quite a coup for her and big boost for her career. I knew she had lots of ideas that she wanted to propose and this would give her a forum where she might be able to make a difference.

I was excited for her, but she seemed conflicted. When I asked her why, she told me that the duties of the committee would require her to be away four times a year. Committee members met each summer for three days prior to the conference and were required to attend quarterly meetings in the fall, winter and spring. She would be gone for ten or more days in the summer and each of the quarterly meetings would mean at least four days away from home.

Meg said she was worried about the amount of time that she would have to spend away from home. It worried me too, but I didn't want to let her know. I didn't want to be one of those husbands who let their fears get in the way of their wife's career. She told me that she was thinking about it and that she didn't have to give them a response right away. I let the subject drop. I figured that we would have a chance to talk more about it later.

Meg was booked on an early flight home. Her return flight was due around eleven and I planned to leave for the trip right from the airport. We had about a four-hour drive and it was about an hour's paddle into the first campsite I wanted to use.

When Meg got off the plane, she was happy to see me, but she looked haggard and tired. There was tightness around her eyes that I did not like. She acted nervous and under stress. It was almost like she did not know what type of reception she would get from me. I kissed her quickly and hustled her over to the luggage carousel. I was thinking of the trip. I wanted to surprise her and get on the road as quickly as possible.

We lucked out and her bag came out quickly. I grabbed it and we walked out to the SUV. When she saw the canoe on the roof, she looked at me with a question on her face. I smiled at her and said, "Surprise! I realized a few days ago that I was getting burned out. Jim gave me next week off and I thought we could spend it up in the Adirondacks relaxing. Besides, I thought that we could use some time alone before the kids get home from camp. We're all set to get on the road. I even packed you a change of clothes if you want to change while we drive."

Meg just looked at me. She seemed hesitant, almost apprehensive about going. I was surprised and hurt at her reaction. These trips alone have created some of my happiest memories. We were pretty sure that Brad had been conceived on one of these trips. One of my biggest regrets is that they don't happen as often as I like. We constantly bemoan the fact that we never get time to spend together. I had thought that this would be a great surprise, but it seemed that I was the one getting the surprise.

"Look, Meg if you don't want to go, we don't have to. We can find something else to do." I told her. I'm sure I sounded testy. My tone of voice conveyed my disappointment and irritation at her reaction.

Meg flushed and looked away guiltily. She had some reason for not wanting to go on the canoe trip. However, she knew how much these trips meant. I don't think she could come up with legitimate reason for not wanting to go.

After a moment she looked back at me with a forced smile on her face. "No, its OK, I was just surprised that all. Let's get going."

I just stared at her. "Meg, I'm serious. If you don't want to go we won't. I'm not going to force you to do anything you don't want to do." I placed her suitcase in the car, got in and waited for her to join me. Admittedly, I was steamed. I was also confused. But, I wasn't going to make her go. I had given up on the trip and was planning on heading to the house.

As Meg got in the car, I could see the tears in her eyes. She was going through an internal struggle that I could not help her with. As I left the airport, her eyes widened as she saw me take the road home. She sat there biting her lip and staring at me intently for a minute or two and then sighed.

"Don, I'm sorry. I'm being selfish. It's not that I don't want to go, it's just that I've been away for a week, I'm tired and I wanted to get home. I need to talk to you and I thought it would be easier to do it at home. But that's not fair to you. Let's go. I just need a little time to adjust."

I looked over at her. "Are you sure? If you want to spend some time at home and rest, we can always take a shorter trip later in the week."

Meg looked at me and smiled tentatively. "No, let's go now. I know you've got your plans all made and it's not fair to you to make you change them. I'm sure I'll be OK by the time we get on the water."

I took her at her word and took the next exit. It took us only a few minutes to get on the right route out of town. I had to concentrate on the traffic for a while before I could settle in and put on the cruise control. When we all set, I relaxed a bit and looked over at Meg. "You said you had something you wanted to talk to me about."

Meg looked over at me and gave me a nervous smile. "I just wanted to talk to you about the conference. It will keep until later. We can talk about it tonight once we make camp. Besides, I'm curious about something you said at the airport. You're feeling burned out?"

The next four hours lasted forever. Meg was determined not to talk about the conference or about what was bothering her. Every time I brought it up, she would change the subject and tell me that we would talk about it later. I could tell she was hiding something, but I couldn't pin her down. The final two hours of the trip were spent in silence as Meg tried to nap on the seat next to me.

When we got to the parking lot where we would be putting in, we quietly worked together to get the canoe off the car and loaded with the gear. We locked the car and set off for our first campsite. By now, her behavior was getting me seriously worried. Something was very wrong and I had a feeling of dread as I tried to anticipate what she was going to tell me.

When we got to the campsite, we fell into routine and set up camp and went about the chores of making dinner and getting a fire going. By unspoken agreement, we talked of inconsequential matters until we had finished eating and cleaning up. Finally, as dusk settled around us and we sat staring into the campfire, I knew that it was time to bring the matter into the open.

"Enough is enough, Meg. Can you please tell me what in the hell is going on? What's bothering you? You've been acting strange since I talked to you last Thursday."

Meg looked over at me. She was on the verge of tears and was sitting hunched over with her legs curled up. She looked totally miserable. "Don, I have a confession to make. I did a stupid, horrible thing at the conference. I hope you can forgive me." Meg looked down at her feet and whispered, "I had sex with Phil." With this pronouncement, Meg burst into tears and buried her head into her arms.

For an eternity I just sat there and stared at her. All of the insecurities and worries that had been plaguing me since she started talking about the men at the conference on Tuesday came flooding back. My worst nightmares had come true. She had gone to the conference, forgotten about me and replaced me.

Emotionally, I was in turmoil. Her announcement had come as a complete surprise. While I had been jealous of her spending time with guys I didn't know, I never imagined that she would cheat on me. I was devastated and I was angry.

"What the fuck do you mean you had sex with Phil!" I shouted. "You fucking bitch, how could you do this to me."

I'm normally in control of my emotions, but for a while, I lost it. Meg just sat there crying, curled up in a ball as I ranted. With every insult I hurled at her she flinched and slipped deeper into misery. She didn't even try to defend herself.

Finally, my outburst burnt itself out and I sat back down and stared at her coldly. At that moment, I wasn't sure what I felt for Meg or what to do next. I still loved her, but I hated her too. I hated what she had done to us. Her confession destroyed me emotionally and devastated the trust that I had in her.

"Do you have any explanation for yourself?" I demanded.

Meg looked up at me and whispered, "I'm so sorry."

"Fuck that, I don't care if you are sorry, I just want to know what happened and if you can give me a reason for it." I snarled.

Over the course of the evening, Meg haltingly told me her story. She explained her relief at finding Judy's name on the conference list and her surprise at finding that four of Judy's friends were men. She told me what they talked about and how she had grown comfortable with them. She even told me that she thought about one of them trying something, but how she had been sure she could handle it. She was totally miserable as she talked. I just sat there and stared at her.