Night Falls

Night falls and as darkness descends I close my eyes. I am lost in my thoughts and memories. Why didn't I just walk away?

It's March 2007 and Henry Burk is throwing a party. His parties are legendary. Henry is the all-state pitcher on the school's baseball team and he is headed to college with a full scholarship. Everyone is there. We are telling jokes, laughing, and drinking. We are young, invincible, and we will live forever.

One minute my life is the same as it has always been, and the next it will never be the same again. Her hair is brown, she smiles at me, and I am in love. When you are young, it can happen that fast.

Her name is Brittany and she laughs at my jokes. I tell her later that was her first mistake. After that, I ask her to movies, concerts, dinners, dances and anything else I can think of. I even introduce her to my parents without being forced! I am hopelessly in love and she makes it so easy.

She comes to me, more beautiful than any words can say. Our room is rented. We have all night. We tell our parents that we are going to the after-prom parties, but we make our own. It is the first time for us both, and we have a lifetime ahead.

Now two years have passed and we're at a picnic with both our families. I kneel and before everyone I ask her to be my wife. She says yes!

She is a vision in her bridal gown as her father walks her down the aisle. Her cousin is Maid of Honor and her friends are her Bride's Maids. She takes my hand as we stand before the priest and she is shaking. We support each other. A few words and a kiss before friends, our families, and God; and then we walk toward our future together. She takes my name and I have never been so happy.

We are married for four years and they are the best years of my life. I never believed that life could be this good. Our apartment is small, but it's everything we need. Our bedroom faces south and the morning sun wakes us from our loving slumber. She teaches me to cook and I try to surprise her. Some things are edible and some are not, but she laughs at my mistakes and loves me all the same. We go to bed happy and I live for her. Time passes. I guess I grew complacent.

The end is coming. There is a pool party at our apartment and the alcohol is flowing. I'm distracted and when I look for Brittany she is gone. As I enter our apartment, I hear the sounds of passion. I walk to the bedroom, open the door, and I see my Brittany. A neighbor, Jim Bell, is with her. They are naked and he is inside her. She is urging him on. My love, my life, my wife is in ecstasy and I die inside.

I wish I'd never bought the gun. I foolishly got it to protect our home, to protect my Brittany, but I never needed it. I get my gun and I point it at my cheating wife with her new man. I am enraged and demeaned by her betrayal. My heart is broken. I have nothing left.

There is a loud BANG and my body jumps. I am instantly awake and my heart is pounding in my chest. I am fighting for my breath as I wait for my eyes to focus. The sun is rising, and I see the four gray walls that surround me. Correction Officer Carter has slammed the bars at the top of the cell block. He thinks it's wrong to let us sleep. Carter is a sadist and he lives to feel superior to the cons.

I lie on my cot and try to recapture the memories, but they are gone. I think to myself that the Aboriginals of Australia must be right; our dreams are real, and our waking thoughts are but nightmares. Perhaps tonight, if God allows, I will live again if only for a little time. That time is so limited now, and my end time grows near. All appeals are exhausted, and soon they will take me to walk that last mile, lay me down, and send me to my Brittany.

I pray she has forgiven me.