Next Step Blues

This picks up the story of the day my wife and I had crossed the boundary of simply voyeur and exhibitionist play with a couple we had met online as nudists, and moved into new territory of swapping partners for erotic massage.

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So, there we were, in the car on the way home to our place, Jan driving. I was keen to find out how she thought about the day we had just shared with our friends. Was she pleased at how things had progressed? Or had she simply gone along with it because it would have been awkward to do otherwise? She wasn't saying much as we drove, and whilst that makes sense as any driver has things to occupy them, I thought the lack of chatter between us about the day was just a bit ominous.

"Well, that all went pretty well, I think," was my opening gambit.

"Hmmm," was all that came back.

"Is that a good sort of 'hmmm' or a bad sort of 'hmmm'?" I enquired, keeping the tone light but on guard, and wanting more information.

"Let's discuss it later," she said.

This wasn't shaping-up well. "Does that mean I'm in trouble?" I asked.

"No, darling, you're not in trouble. I'm just not sure how I feel about it all right now. " She paused a moment whilst manoeuvring the car around a corner. "I'm thinking about it, that's all. And there are a few new aspects to think about."

I didn't respond to that immediately because I was busy thinking about what she'd said. As I've remarked before, women and men really are from different planets when it comes to the whole 'friends with benefits' social experimentation experience, and I have the good sense, as well as love for my wife, to try to see things from her point of view.

A few seconds passed before Jan added, "So, as I said, we'll discuss it later. OK?"

Most of the rest of the journey home was in what I took to be introspective silence. I tried to judge her mood but it's pretty difficult when there's no dialogue to work on. At least she didn't have her death-stare, or her I'm-pissed-at-something look, so I took that as a good sign.

Though what we had shared with our friends, Eva and Russell, was never far from my thoughts, I didn't push it, so we didn't get around to having our talk about it until later the following day, over dinner. It was quite an eye-opener.

Between mouthfuls, and sipping her wine, Jan said, "Eva phoned me today. She wanted to know how I felt about yesterday."

I was a bit surprised and a little apprehensive about where this might be going. "And what did you say?" I asked, keeping the surprise out of my voice and sipping my own wine, keen and curious to hear her answer.

"I told her the truth," Jan replied. "That we went further and faster than I expected." She paused there for a breath, so on the instant I wasn't sure if that was the end of the bulletin or if she hadn't finished the sentence. I wisely kept quiet and a moment later heard her continue, "But I also said to Eva that I enjoyed myself despite that."

As she said this last part, though, she wasn't smiling. You get to know your partner, so I knew there was more to it.

"I'm glad," I responded, but then hastily added for clarification, "that you enjoyed it, I mean." I was genuinely relieved to hear Jan's assessment of the day as being enjoyable, but was still on guard. "After you went quiet on the topic yesterday, I wasn't sure." I sipped my wine again and continued after a moment, "I enjoyed it, too."

Jan came back quickly. "That much was obvious. The evidence was dripping off her." She wasn't smiling as she said this.

"Yes, well...," I began, falteringly. "I hadn't actually intended that to happen, but I can't deny I enjoyed it." I took a breath for a second or two before continuing. "In my defence, I wasn't sure if it was within our rules, but you seemed OK when Eva asked you if she could.... you know.... So, umm, I just went with it."

Now was the time to ask a hard question. "Are you mad at me about it?"

"No, no. It's not that." This time my darling wife did smile and reached out to pat my hand across the table. "I guess I am just a bit surprised that things went as far as they did." She paused then, obviously thinking what to say next.

To help her along, I found myself asking, "Does 'surprised' mean 'not pleased'? Or you're sorry it went that way? Or.... what.....?" With the question dangling, I trailed off.

Jan looked at me directly with those lovely eyes. "None of those things, really," she said. "Part of my surprise is that I enjoyed it too, though perhaps not the pace of it." She looked away then, as if she was embarrassed, before going on. "If you'd asked me yesterday morning if I'd be massaged by Russell front and back by the end of the day, or that I'd be giving him a happy ending by hand, or that you'd be getting orgasms from Eva whilst that was all going on, I'd have said 'no way, baby'."

I should explain here that, after my orgasmic moment with Eva, and she and I were cleaning up the evidence, Jan called a halt to Russell's 'back' rubbing (more a bottom rub, as I've explained), and asked Russell if he wanted one of those, looking pointedly at Eva and me, her meaning unmistakable. Precisely what her motive was on the instant wasn't clear to me; was she pissed at me and getting back? Was it to be fair and equitable to Russell? Anyway, Russell's not stupid. He said "Yes, please" in a flash, and they promptly swapped places, he on the chaise, face up, and Jan kneeling on the ground beside him. She then set about giving Russell an enthusiastic hand job, using a little of the lotion he'd used on her back for lube. It didn't take long before Russell was making a noise between a whimper and a moan, with his dick erupting a sticky geyser of cum. It was all very entertaining to watch, as both Eva and I did.

Going back to the discussion Jan and I were having about it all, I responded to her last remark. "Well, to be entirely accurate, it was an orgasm, singular, not orgasms, plural."

"Don't be a smartass," she snapped back, obviously in a non-joke mood and no doubt thinking about our joint activities in the cold light of a new day. After another pause, she continued, still looking out the window. "Yes, I must say am surprised that we went that far as a foursome. And now I'm trying to work out how I feel about it, where it leaves us, and where it's taking us."

She looked back at me then with her gorgeous eyes frowning a little and a small pout on her lips. "Does any of that make sense?"

"Of course not. I'm a male," I joked, hoping I could keep the mood light. She rolled her eyes. "No, really, I think I get it," I said. "It surprised me too, you know, though I probably started it by being tipsy in the spa." Actually, I was pretty sure about this point. "If I hadn't blurted out that quip about Eva's nipples, I doubt any of the rest of it would have happened." To round off my remarks, I thought a quasi-apology might be prudent. "Sorry if that's taken us to a wrong destination."

"Well, I don't blame you for any of that. It was all of us; not just you and her nipples. The way we've been going with Eva and Russell, it was bound to end up in some sort of sharing situation sooner or later, I suppose. It's not that it happened that bothers me so much as, now it has happened, I'm just not sure where it leaves us."

"It leaves Russell extremely happy, let me tell you," I put in. "I'm a guy. I know these things." Russell had looked like the cat who got the canary. "He's been lusting to get his hands on you for ages, and not only did he succeed, he got a bonus as well."

"I'm the gal, and I think I knew it, too -- about him liking me in a not entirely platonic way," Jan responded. "I'm truly quite flattered that he feels that way, and part of my surprise is that I enjoyed the fooling around that we did. I felt like a naughty teenager. It was fun. And now I feel a bit guilty about it."

"He certainly was enthusiastic," I said. "From what I saw, that bottom massage he gave you was delivered with great care and attention."

Yes, it was, wasn't it?" Jan replied, apparently reminiscing in a way that caused her to smile, lifting the mood. "I like a nice, slow buttock massage. It's been a long while since I had one as drawn-out as that. You're usually in too much of a hurry on your way to more interesting places."

No question, this was a wifely insult about my lover techniques, but it was delivered with a smile. Nevertheless, I made a mental note. "It looked to me like he was working his own way to more interesting places, too. His busy hands were sure disappearing from view a lot of the time there."

"I think the expression is 'feeling me up'," Jan replied. "Yes, there was some of that. I'm surprised at myself for letting him, but I admit I enjoyed it, and that's part of the trouble. " I was trying to process that confusing remark when she asked, "Did it bother you?"

"No, my darling. Not at all. It was very sexy." I thought a bit more. "If it had been some complete stranger doing that to you, I wouldn't have felt the same way about it at all. But since it was you with Russell.... " I paused for a second. "I admit to being surprised at myself for saying that, but... no, I felt quite OK with you both getting into it." Then I added, truthfully, "I was sort of hoping he'd bring you off, actually."

"Were you? I wasn't sure about that, which is one reason I stopped him."

"Not sure it was within our rules, eh?" I replied, feeling a bit smug with myself for recalling and more or less preserving the boundaries we'd established. "Well, neither was I sure as Eva was working on me. But her efforts succeeded, as you saw." After a moment, I went on, "You missed out, though."

She responded, "Hmmm. It was tempting." She paused again here, then blurted, "For a while there I wanted to keep going. I mean, really keep going." After another pause, she added, "All the way."

Now, that bombshell really shook me. Did she just say what I think she just said? If she had, to be quite frank I didn't know how I felt about it. Shocked? Angry? Excited? Perhaps a bit of all three. All this went through my mind in a split second as I sat up straighter and asked, tentatively, "All the way, as in.....?" I left the question dangling.

"As in sex." She put a look on her face which was half grimace and half smile. "My mojo was engaged, that's for sure. For a minute or two there it seemed the most natural thing in the world to just keep going and do what comes naturally as a next step from that sort of thing." Then she made a heavy sigh, followed by words coming now in a torrent. "And then I felt as guilty as anything. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how you'd feel if I let Russell, well.... you know... because we sure as hell hadn't agreed to that being on the agenda. For that matter, I didn't know how I would feel about it... afterwards. In one form or another, there's always 'the morning after' to consider and I just didn't know what to do. " She stopped, looking worried. No smiles in evidence now.

This gave me a lot to think about. There was a silence between us for a few seconds before Jan went on, more measured now. " Raising an eyebrow and employing a sort of deliberately pompous speech we each use sometimes for fun, she intoned, "Whilst initially I was happy enough to enjoy and indulge his boyish enthusiasms upon my naked and cooperative person," she then reverted to a normal tone, "apart from anything else, I wasn't sure I'd get there." As she said this last part she was grimacing again, then taking a slurp and looking a bit embarrassed. "You know yourself I can take ages to come, and sometimes never make it. I didn't want him endlessly rubbing and probing away at me, only to find that it wasn't going to happen, or that I got sore and we both got embarrassed." She looked me directly in the eye now, "See how difficult this all is?"

"Wow," I said, and then trying to lift the mood a little, added, "I never would have guessed all that deep thinking was going on. No wonder you lost the mood."

"Now you're making fun of me," Jan retorted, sounding a bit cross that I'd missed some vital point. "I didn't 'lose the mood'. I just decided that tactfully disengaging from being the centre of his attention was my best option."

"Well, he sure got his reward," I said, trying again to get us back to more shared territory. I was recalling the stream of white stuff that erupted from Russell's thick, purple-red cock as a result of Jan's talented handiwork. "And just so you know, it was great to watch."

"Well, just so you know," she responded, raising an eyebrow and looking pleased with herself, "I really enjoyed that part, too. It's been a long while since I've given a 'strange man' a hand-job. You know I've always liked doing it, and I flatter myself that I'm quite good at it. It must be a hang-over from my misspent younger days.

"The flattery is entirely justified," I replied. "You're a genius with those hands. Of course, I knew this before, but lucky old Russell knows it now." She smiled at that. After a pause, I went on, "So, you're now wondering where that all leaves us? Is that it?"

She looked serious again. "Yes, I am. And I haven't told you the rest of Eva's phone call," she finished enigmatically, obviously waiting for me to take the bait.

"Well, you've given me heaps to think about already tonight. I'll probably need a psychiatrist to sort me out. But, OK. I'll take the bait and ask. What.....?

Jan looked directly at me again and, in the midst of this quite unusual conversation, I couldn't help myself noticing for the ten-thousandth time how pretty she is. "Eva says that she and Russell would like to take the next step with us, you know, swinging, partner swapping for sex, if we want to as well."

"Wow," I said, for the second time in minutes, on the instant unable to think of anything more intelligent to contribute. Then for a third time, after a breath. "Wow."

We both looked at each other in silence for a moment. The moment seemed to stretch out.

"What do you think?" I finally asked.

"I don't know," Jan almost wailed, and then burst into tears.

*** To be continued in Part 3 ***