Never Is Forever

One week before his wedding Ryan blew off his last customer call of the day and came home early hoping to rehearse his honeymoon. He opened the front door and was surprised to find his beautiful fiancé standing there decked out to the nines--black cocktail dress, a string of pearls, sheer black stockings, and high heels. Damn she looked good, he thought.

"You're early," Her shrill voice betrayed the terror she felt in her gut as her plan to avoid a confrontation begin to crumble.

At first Ryan thought he forgot a dinner date. So he flashed his best smile, kissed his fiancé, and announced, "Give me ten minutes and I'll be clean shaven and ready to go."

"Go where?" Caroline was shaking as the words left her mouth.

He froze in his tracks. "With you, of course, for whatever you look so hot for."

After a pregnant pause the bride to be answered, "Honey, I'm so sorry but you're misunderstanding. Oh God, I've been so dreading this conversation I was going to leave you a note explaining everything."

Ryan became even more baffled when he noticed Caroline had an overnight bag next to the front door. She saw where he was looking." I won't be home this weekend."

"I'm confused. What do you mean you won't be home?"

"I'm so wound up from planning the wedding. I have to get away."

"And where are you getting away to?"

"A hotel downtown."

"All alone?"

It took well over a minute for her to respond."No. I'll be with a friend."

Ryan took a deep breath. "Since you didn't name this friend would it be safe to assume you'll be with a man?"

Caroline looked guilty as sin. "It's not like that.He's just a friend."

Ryan's voice grew in volume. He began to flail his fists in the air as though he could beat the words into submission. "You're going to share a hotel room with a man one week before our wedding and you expect me to believe he's just a friend."

"I need this weekend."

"Who is the son-of-a-bitch that's going to be sharing your bed?" His voice filled the room.

"It's not like that. He's a friend I've been talking to."

"Talking to about what?"

"About us...our relationship."

"Is he a trained psychiatrist or psychologist?"

Caroline looked at the floor and didn't answer.

"Is he a licensed therapist or counselor?"

Again no answer.

"Is he at least a member of the clergy who councils engaged couples?"

"No, but he's a good listener." She mumbled.

"A good listener," Ryan roared. "You're going to spend the weekend before our wedding with some asshole because he's a good listener!"

Caroline's head dipped even lower. Her shoulders slouched making it look like she was melting.

"Look at me when I talk to you," Ryan waited until she tilted her head up. She was sobbing and her mascara was running down her cheeks. It took less than two minutes for two hours of preparations to go to hell.

"I will ask you one last time. Who is the bastard?"

"Promise you won't hurt him."

"I promise I will find out who he is and kill him if you go through with this. That's what I promise."

Caroline collapsed on the floor and curled up like a whimpering puppy dog who had just chewed up his owner's favorite slippers.

"Get up and answer me."

Still no answer. Ryan tore the mirror off the foyer wall and flung it across the room. It exploded against the dining room wall. Glass shards rained down on the hardwood floor.

Caroline jumped to her feet. In a soft voice she managed to squeak out, "This is why I was going to turn my phone off and leave you a note explaining why I have to do this."

The look on Ryan's face scared Caroline. "So if I had come home at the usual time you would be gone."

No response except for a nod.

Ryan fought to keep his composure. "And you were going to sneak away to spend a weekend with another man and leave me a note!" Ryan snapped open his briefcase and took out a legal pad and a pen. He tossed them on the dining room table then pulled out a chair. "This better be one hell of a note. Start writing."

Caroline sat down and began to scribble. A few minutes later she stopped and put the pen down. He waited to see if she would resume writing. When she didn't he snatched the pad away from her. She had written exactly one sentence-- 'Next week I start a new chapter of my life and I have to do this before it is too late.'

Ryan looked in shock. His voice quivered with emotion as he asked, "Tell me the truth. Were you going to admit you were going away with another man?"

"If I had more time I would have explained my feelings."

"You didn't answer my question."

"I would have tried to phrase it so you would agree what I was doing was for us...to make our marriage stronger."

"That's crazy. It makes no sense. How could you having an affair make our marriage stronger?"

He didn't give her a chance to answer. "People get divorced when one of them has an affair. Marriages end because of affairs. So do engagements."

This caught her off-guard. She never thought for a moment Ryan would threaten to cancel their wedding because of this.

Caroline tried to think of way to defend her actions. Finding none she gave up and blurted out, "I couldn't tell you because I knew you would react badly."

"Badly!" The word flipped a switch and Ryan went off, "Badly! What are you talking about badly? You haven't begun to see badly. This is your last chance. I will not marry you next week, or ever, unless you tell me his name right now. The wedding is off. How's that for badly."

Caroline grabbed his wrists. "Ryan, please don't say that. I love you more than anything but this is something I have to do."

He broke free. "Give me his name."

Silence.

"You have one last chance. Tell me his name or get the hell out of my house and never come back."

"Ryan, please don't say that. I love you."

"You have a real sick way of showing it." He opened the front door. "This is the last time I'm saying this. Tell me his name or get the hell out of my house!"

She finally broke down. "Scott. Scott Jenkins from work".

"Your boss. That son-of-a-bitch is older than your father!" Ryan screamed.

Caroline began to wail like a banshee trying to claw its way out of hell.

"Have you fucked him already?"

No answer.

"Have you fucked him already?"

Caroline silently looked down at her feet.

" Have you fucked him already?"

Caroline buried her face in her hands.

"Even though your silence speaks louder than any words ever could, I'm still waiting for an answer. You owe me that much. Have you fucked him already?"

She nodded in the affirmative.

That simple gesture hit Ryan harder than any baseball bat could. His heart started to race violently and he thought he was having a heart attack. He felt dizzy and grabbed the table to keep from falling.

Caroline stood there afraid to say anything.

Ryan took a number of deep breaths before he was able to speak. "As I recall from the Christmas party he's married. What does his wife thinks about him fucking a beautiful blonde half her age."

"She's okay with it. She's going through menopause and hasn't been able to have sex in almost a year."

"Did she tell you this?"

"No, Mr. Jenkins, Scott, did. He said she's too embarrassed to say anything."

"Why don't we call her and ask?"

"No, Scott said that would humiliate her even more."

"Give me your phone. I'm willing to take that chance."

"I don't have his home number...only his cell phone."

"That means the bastard is sneaking around behind his wife's back."

"No, No, he respects her feelings and doesn't want to make her feel like less of a woman."

"I can't believe how stupid you are defending him. I can't take it. I'm giving you the choice, leave or get thrown out on your whoring ass. "

"How dare you call me a whore!"

"What would you call an engaged woman who has an affair with a married man?"

No response. She turned away from him and began muttering under her breath.

"I have one more question before you leave. Why were you going to spend the weekend with another man?"

She finally spoke. "This is all your fault, you know."

"My fault! What the hell are you talking about?"

"When we started to get serious you admitted you had sex with three girls before me. You were the only man I ever had sex with. I told you it didn't matter but after talking about it with Scott it started to eat at me and I knew eventually I would cheat on you to even things up."

"Scott said if our marriage is to succeed we must enter it as equals. He said I had to do this now because I told him you always said you would never stay married to a woman who cheated on you. We're not married so I would even the score. Then I would never cheat on you after we are married."

"What! Are you insane? That was before I met you. I have been 100% faithful since our first date," Ryan rambled on. "So you staked our whole future on bullshit spewed by a horny old guy who wanted to fuck a girl half his age."

"No, it's not like that. I mean, yes we talked about it. He made me see how unfair it was to me. But he never tried to manipulate me."

"So it never occurred to you that he had a vested interest in getting you to 'even things up.'"

"No. It wasn't like that. He only wanted to help us."

"Humor me. What exactly did the good listener say that would help us?"

"He didn't say much. But he helped me think things out. He made me realize I'm entitled to have sex with three different men so we can enter our marriage as equals." "Entitled! What a crock of shit." Ryan screamed.

"Ryan, I enjoyed having sex with a different man but I love you so much I'm willing to settle for one." Caroline foolishly smirked like she had played a trump card.

"Settle for one!" Ryan stared her down. "If this wasn't so pathetic I would laugh."

"I'm so confused. It made so much sense when Scott explained it. It wasn't supposed to be like this"

"You're right. It was supposed to be you and me together forever. Faithful unto each other." Ryan looked like he was going to lose it.

"So how did you think I would react when I found out you were fucking your boss?"

'No! No! No! You're twisting everything around."

"Then tell me, what did you think would happen when you came home from your weekend tryst? Did you think I would be a good little cuckold and thank the old man for fucking my fiancé?

"No, I hoped you would never find out. I love you. I never wanted to hurt you. It would be my little secret, tucked away forever."

"You thought you would go away for a weekend--just turn your phone off and disappear without telling me where you were going-- and I wouldn't figure out you had been unfaithful." He looked at her like she was the village idiot.

Yet she kept talking. "Even if you did find out I knew you loved me enough to see the fairness of it and we would get married and live happily ever after."

"Fairness!" The word reeked of rage. "What in everything you know about me would lead you to believe I would still marry you after you had an affair?"

"Scotty said..."

Ryan shouted her down. "Scotty said shit. He's an opportunist who found a naive woman he could control."

"No, he's a very caring man who wanted to help our marriage succeed."

"How many times have you had sex with him or any other man?"

"I swear there were no other men."

"Then how many times have you had sex with him?"

"Not that many...seven or eight."

"You fucked another man seven or eight times while we were engaged and you think that's not that many."

Caroline sobbed, "I did it for us. To make our marriage succeed."

"Think back to that conversation when I confessed I wasn't a virgin. I never told you I had sex with three girls before you. What I did say was I had sex three times. Each and every time was with Sally McDonough, the girl with whom I was going steady before I met you. We were going to run away together after we graduated. That came to a quick halt when her mother caught us naked. You know how that story ends. The next day they left town and I never heard from her again. I met you the next month. Since that day I haven't so much as kissed another woman let alone have sex with them."

Caroline felt sick.

"So that puts you ahead seven or eight to three. I guess I have to fuck four or five other women to make us equal."

"Noooooo. I...I....I..."

"Since I have no idea what happened to Sally, do you think that asshole would say I'm entitled to fuck four or five different women to make us equal? How about your best friend Laura? You always said you didn't trust her around me. Maybe your sister? She's not going out with anyone."

"No Ryan, oh please no."

"Give me one good reason why not!"

"I'll end the affair and won't go with him for the weekend. You have to understand, I made a mistake but I did it for us."

"No. You did it for you and only you."

"Please Ryan. Give me another chance." She begged.

"You're eight fucks too late for that. I could never trust you again."

"Please, give me another chance I swear I'll never..." Ryan held up his hand. She stopped talking.

"What you did was pure evil. There is no us anymore. You destroyed that. And there won't be a wedding. Ever."

"No. No. No. Don't say that. I love you. I swear I'll never cheat on you again."

"What hurts even more than your sexual betrayal is you never came to me when you were having doubts. Me, the man you claim to love. I don't know what I would have said or done but I can promise I would not have told you to have an affair with a married man. Only a marriage wrecking whore would do that."

Silence. Caroline could almost feel the bony fingers of death tearing her soul, her every dream, out of her chest. She was having trouble breathing and could taste bile in her mouth.

"What do you think your mother is going to call you when I tell her we're not getting married because in addition to sampling cake you've been auditioning cocks. A real old cock."

Caroline responded by screaming "Nooooooooooooooooooo!!!! "

"I will make sure everyone knows what you did. All of our families and friends will know we are not getting married because you had an affair with a married man." Ryan grabbed her left hand and damn near tore her finger off retrieving the engagement ring from his ex-fiancé.

"No! That's mine! You gave it to me." Her arms flailed at him trying to recover the symbol of their commitment.

"You betrayed us. You betrayed everything this ring stands for." He held it tight in his fist. "It's over. I can't marry you. Please leave before I hurt you."

The finality of the words tore hard into Caroline. She tried to talk but her mouth wouldn't form the words. Instead she made a sound like a dying man fighting for his last breath. Her eyes were huge and her body was shaking. Still no words came. The room grew quiet.

Tears ran down Ryan's cheeks. "I haven't felt like this since my dad died."

Caroline tore through her memory trying to find the right words to save her marriage. But nothing came; that was when she finally realized she had been played.

A sharp knock on the door interrupted the silence.

Caroline snapped out of her shock and composed herself enough to say, "Oh my God, That's Scott. I'll tell him to leave. Please don't cause any trouble."

Ryan grabbed the baseball bat he kept next to the door. "I'm not going to cause trouble. I'm going to kill him right here in the foyer while you watch."

Caroline jumped up and tried to stop him. "He's not worth going to jail for."

"I really don't care." He stepped around her. "I have nothing to live for. But if I kill him that will make us even for the pain he caused me."

She tried calling his cell phone to warn him. The call went straight to voice mail. Ryan held the bat in one hand as he opened the door. He was ready drop the old man in his tracks. Instead he was greeted by two police officers. He released his grip on the bat...it hit the ceramic tile floor with a sharp crack.

The officers ignored him. "Excuse me ma'am. Are you Caroline Bradley?"

"What's the problem officer?" The policemen stepped inside and closed the door.

"Do you know a Mrs. Loretta Jenkins?"

"I work for her husband Scott."

The officers shot each other a look like they were in on a private joke.

"Is everything alright? Did something happen to Loretta?"

"No ma'am. But about an hour ago Mrs. Jenkins murdered her husband in the living room of their house." Caroline passed out and hit the floor. Hard.

Ryan walked to the kitchen and came back with a far too large pot full of water. He threw it in her face. Her once beautifully coiffured hair looked like a drowned rat.

It was a couple of minutes before she was able to speak. In a soft voice she said, "Oh my God, Scotty is dead." She sobbed.

"Yes ma'am. She shot him six times in the chest with a .38 caliber revolver then reloaded and shot him six more times point blank in the face. The detectives said it was the most cold blooded thing they ever saw. Damn near took his head off.

The only sound was Ryan laughing. The police looked at him like he was crazy. "I guess she didn't give her husband permission to go away with you this weekend after all."

"We need you to come down to the station ma'am. Mrs. Jenkins told a neighbor she's going to kill you for destroying her marriage. We have half a dozen squads patrolling the neighborhood but they think you would be safer downtown."

Her face had a pasty, catatonic look.

"Don't come back you cheating whore..." his voice trailed off as his ex-fiancé let loose with a horrific scream. "What did you think I was going to do when I found out? "

The police officers half carried Caroline out to their car. Ryan watched the blue lights fade into the distance as he tried to figure out how his life had turned to shit. Three stiff shots of Jack loosened his tongue. The fourth loosened his writing abilities. He opened Caroline's lap top and began composing an e-mail to everyone she had an address for--family, friends, co-workers, the choir at church. Everyone.

Ryan titled it, 'Why I won't be marrying Caroline Bradley, the cheating whore. If you watch the news tonight the lead story will be about a middle aged woman who murdered her husband for fucking a twenty-five year old whore. I'm ashamed to say it but the whore is my ex-fiancé. Yep, little miss prim and proper Caroline who always looked down her nose at her friends for sleeping around is responsible for a 60 year old man being shot dead. Yes, she was fucking a guy older than her father. So now you know why I'm not getting married. Thank God this happened before I ruined my life by marrying that cheating whore.' Because once a cheat, always a cheat.

PS. The police are hiding Caroline because her paramour's widow is hunting for her to kill her. I hope she succeeds.

Within a couple of minute after he hit the send key he had a half dozen responses. Then his phone began to ring. The first call was from the local newspaper asking for an interview. He sent the reporter a couple pictures of her wearing a skimpy bikini. Then he told him the story of her betrayal.

Next he agreed to be interviewed on the air by the local radio station.

Ryan spent the next couple of hours talking to reporters and answering e-mails. Most were very supportive , including Caroline's friends and family. When he grew tired of telling the story he took a break and started shoving everything of Caroline's into a heavy duty garbage bag. He eventually filled four bags. He dragged them out to the front of the garage by the garbage cans.

Ryan lived in a bedroom suburb which hasn't had a murder in over five years so the next morning the local newspaper ran a banner headline...Love triangle ends in death. The TV stations also descended on his peaceful subdivision. Each had led the evenings news with a picture of the on the lam suspect as well as Ryan's ex-fiancé in a bikini and the victim.