I got home from work and was strolling down the corridor towards my unit when I first noticed her. It would have been pretty hard not to notice her. She was standing in the corridor almost dancing on the spot, looking at the open door of the unit opposite mine.
I'd heard that there were new tenants in that unit but had never met them. It seemed as though I was about to. The young lady was of Asian descent, Japanese would be my guess, mainly based on the lovely kimono she was wearing. I have to admit that her face was quite lovely, too, having that flawless Asian skin you see on Japanese models. She didn't have that look of serene peace that they're supposed to display.
Forget any thoughts of oriental inscrutability. This young lady was both highly nervous, scared even, and pissed off. I smiled and nodded as I approached.
"Good afternoon. I'm Jeff. That's my unit." I nodded to the unit behind her. "I take it you're my new neighbour?"
She nodded but didn't take her eyes off the open door of her own unit.
Seeing she didn't seem to want to speak to me I simply shrugged and reached for my keys to enter my own place. The jingle of my keys must have jarred her loose from whatever was holding her because she gave a slight shudder and turned her attention to me.
"I'm sorry. I'm being very rude. Yes, I'm Kim, your new neighbour. Um, I have a little problem that I would very much appreciate some assistance with."
I tried to look helpful and interested and she glanced back at the open door of her unit with another little shudder. I had the impression she wanted to close the door but didn't dare.
"I - I was about to take a shower when I saw it," she explained. "I ran out here. Could you please help me get rid of it?"
Being a typically perverted man I promptly wondered what she had on under that kimono. Nothing, perchance? It was very silky and clung to her in a very loving manner.
"I suppose I could assist if I knew what it was," I carefully pointed out.
"It's a spider. An absolutely enormous spider. I didn't know spiders grew that big. It's huge. It's on the roof above the shower. It was going to jump on me."
Probably a huntsman or a wolf spider. Both of them are quite large. Not a problem. I'd just knock it into a bowl and drop it out the window.
"Just wait here a moment and I'll go catch him," I reassured her. "I'll need a bowl from your kitchen so I can carry him outside to the garden. I don't like killing them unless it's really necessary."
She nodded. "Just don't be surprised if I break the bowl and throw it out after you've used it to carry that monster," she muttered.
I grinned and strolled into her unit to check out the opposition. I guessed her unit would be a mirror image to mine which would put her bathroom there. I opened the bathroom door and checked the ceiling and jumped back out of the bathroom yelling, "What the fuck?"
I checked the ceiling to confirm what I'd seen and then retreated to the kitchen to find a bowl. I saw that the little rubbish bin in the kitchen had just been emptied and was sitting there with a nice new bag in it. That would probably be better than a bowl.
I grabbed a chair and returned to the bathroom. Standing on the chair I neatly placed the bin over the spider and then slowly moved the bin about. I was working on the principle that the spider would see the bin moving towards him and drop down into the bag where it was safer.
After a few moments I pulled the bin away from the ceiling, saw it was clear, and jumped down from the chair. A glance in the bin showed me the little bastard was down at the bottom so I very smartly lifted the sides of the bag and tied them tight.
I left the unit and gave Kim a smile, holding up the bag.
"This," I told her, "is what is known as a bird eating spider. They're one of the largest spiders in the world. Weren't you lucky to be able to see one so close? No? If you've got a minute there's someone you need to meet."
I walked further down the corridor to the unit at the end and knocked firmly.
"Excuse me, Jeff, but why did you try to kick the door down?"
"I wasn't kicking it down. Just making sure I had their attention."
The door was flung open and a woman stood there, glaring at me.
"What?" she yelled.
I pushed past her and into the front room, a bemused Kim following on behind.
"This is Kim," I announced. "She just met up with one of your inmates. Probably the one from that tank over there that hasn't got a lid."
The woman turned, spotted the tank with no lid, screamed, and bellowed for Andy.
"Andy is her son," I explained. "He fancies himself to be an entomologist but tends to let his specimens get loose. We've discussed this before."
While I was explaining I was also undoing the bag. I carefully encouraged the spider to leave the nice bag which it reluctantly did.
"What are you doing?" screamed Andy's mother while Andy, who'd just come wandering in in time to see the spider run under the couch, let out a cry of "Maybelle".
"Next time I'll fumigate every blasted spider you have," I said affably, "and I'll probably include Andy with the vermin. If you want them you take fucking better care of them."
Kim had already beat a retreat from the unit as soon as Maybelle was set free. I joined her there, as did Andy's mother, who now had the nervous and pissed look that Kim had earlier worn.
"That was totally uncalled for," she snarled at me.
"So was failing to look after that damned spider," I pointed out. "Andy has been warned before and you know it. I believe the last warning was that if it happened again either you or the spiders would have to leave. Do you want me to make a formal complaint?"
She contented herself with a glare, moving to the doorway to yell at Andy. I indicated to Kim that we should move along. She was almost bouncing as she headed back to her unit and I noticed that her breasts were certainly bouncing under that kimono. There just couldn't be anything under it to keep those puppies in line. Don't ever get sucked in by the line that Japanese women have small breasts. Kim was living proof otherwise.
"Thank you so much," she gushed. "I've truly never seen a spider like that before. Anything smaller than that I can ignore in future as they just don't count for much after seeing that thing. Would you like some coffee? It's the least I can do for you."
I smiled and accepted. She was quite a charming young thing. I sat at the table and she bounced about, preparing the coffee and talking non-stop.
"If you stick around a little bit longer you'll be able to meet my husband," she told me. "He's due home from work about now."
That's when her phone rang. She glanced at it to see who was calling, frowned, and answered. From the way she answered I was guessing it was her husband. I was also guessing she wasn't too pleased with what she was hearing.
"What? But it's Friday. You've been working overtime every day this week. How late will you be?"
She glowered into the phone, finishing up with, "Fine," which invariably meant that things weren't.
"I don't mind him working late," she groused, "but every night is a bit much. I rarely even see him. I know they have a bit of a rush on but he needs to learn to balance out work and home. It's not fair to me."
She grumbled a bit more about her husband before switching the subject, asking for local information which I was happy to share. She was rather a restless person, walking around as she talked, and while she moved I admired her movements and the way the kimono clung to her.
Did you know that the obi can be tied a number of different ways? The knots serve a decorative as well as a practical purpose and they also have a third purpose. The complexity of the knot can be deceptive, so in some instances a slight tug at the proper place can have the whole knot come apart and the obi fall away, letting the kimono gape open. A slight change to the knot and the same apparent releasing tug will just tighten the knot, making it even harder to undo. I couldn't help wondering about the knot on Kim's obi.
I'd visually traced the way the material seemed to flow and I was sure it was a lover's knot. Still, there was only one way to find out. The next time Kim came to a stop in front of me I reached over and tugged on what I thought was the correct place.
A far as I was concerned it was beautiful to watch. The obi just seemed to fall apart, dangling from my hand, while the two sides of the kimono swung wide, showing all. I'd been spot on with my guess of nothing but skin under that kimono, and very lovely skin it was.
Kim gave a startled gasp and hurriedly clutched the sides of the kimono together. I reached out and took hold of her wrists and gently pushed them wide, allowing the kimono to swing free once more. Releasing her wrists I reached for her shoulders and brushed the kimono away, where it promptly slithered down, only her bents arm stopping it from falling to the floor.
