My wife, Jan and I were social outcasts in our small rural school, me because I'm a geek, and her due to her outspoken personality challenging the most popular kids in our class. We finally started dating during our senior year in high school when she directed me to take her to the Prom. And we continued together during our two years at Community College. We were both virgins when we started dating, and we remained exclusive with each other for those three years. After we both finished the two-year college, I went away for two more school years to earn a bachelor's degree in computer science at a university, while Jan lived with her parents and found a local job as a waitress.
With me going off to the distant university, we decided it might be time to take a break in our relationship, rather than agonize over missing each other. It's like the 1960s oldies song:
"I Wonder What She's Doing Tonight."
Rather than wonder if she's out with another guy, we agreed we would both date others. I knew she would be out dating, and probably having sex with other guys. And she knew I would be shopping around for sex with other women. We didn't want any angst or surprises between us. We just agreed to see how things worked out when we got back together.
During my time away, I hooked up with a few different girls around the university, including Brenda. She was a year younger than me, and I met her at a bar near the school. We had some good times together, fucking in the car, on a blanket in the park, in my off-campus room, as well as on the hood of my car in a parking garage. But when my best friend and apartment roommate, Eric found out who I was with, he told me I wasn't the only one she was hooking up with during those months we were dating. He said he had her in a gangbang with three other guys afterhours at the bar where she worked. And yes, he was still my best friend after that, because it wasn't his fault she was into gangbangs without telling me. After a shot of penicillin, I knew she wasn't working out for me in the long term.
Jan later described some of her fun times, too. Hers included fucking a guy in a nightclub men's room, and living with a guy, Ray for a few months who was five-years older and had his own apartment (until he moved away). And then there was the time she and her best friend, Marlene went on a week-long vacation and drinking binge. Jan told me that during their binge week, one morning she woke up in her hotel bed next to a guy she couldn't remember meeting the night before. She couldn't even remember his name. She was shocked later that morning, when she saw police setting up crime scene tape and an ambulance crew taking a girl's body out of an alleyway. She said,
"That could have been ME!"
Jan and I got back together after I finished my degree program. It was probably just luck neither of us needed ANOTHER shot of penicillin. We decided we'd both had enough of those wild experiences, and it was time to think about settling down. So, at her prompting, I proposed marriage later that summer when I got the job offer from Walt.
Decades later, with the kids grown and out of the house, we were both beginning to get bored, and we both felt the middle-aged longing of ;
'Is this all there is?'
, and our old wild streaks came to mind again. So, we began exploring a discreet swinger lifestyle with other couples. We knew if any of our friends or work colleagues found out about our new lifestyle, it might result in some negative, judgmental consequences. We thought it wouldn't be fair if one of us was seen by a friend or neighbor when out with another play partner. Whether seen just having dinner and dancing or going into a hotel with someone other than the spouse, it might cause the other one a problem at work or at least ridicule from some of our common friends. So, we agreed we'd only play around with others when we're together, since we'll both then share the same risk.
We also mostly like watching each other when we're with other couples at house parties. I did give Jan a 'hall pass' once for sex alone with a guy she was lusting for, to play in bed in a one-on-one situation. But that was in a different room in the same house. It wasn't really cheating, since I could have fun with other women there or could have gone in to watch them.
Over the years, Jan stayed in touch with her former live-in boyfriend, Ray, via letters, e-mails, and texts after he left. He moved away for a job transfer, and Jan wasn't ready at that time to leave our hometown to follow him. Although they broke up, they parted on good terms. Ray has since married and now has his own family. And I wasn't jealous of Jan keeping in touch with her old "friend with former benefits." He and his wife lived over two thousand miles away, and Jan hadn't seen him in the thirty years we'd been married.
As part of our own sex together over the years, Jan and I would describe some of our sexual encounters with others. Jan told me Ray bought her a glass beaded anal rod for her to try anal sex, which she still occasionally uses. Okay, ... he might have had that hole of hers before me, but I still wasn't jealous. I wasn't particularly interested in fucking my wife in the ass. And she said she wasn't really into it very often, even with me. But she was comfortable telling me things like that and telling me every time she exchanged e-mails with Ray.
Old Flames
One evening after work, we were sitting at the dining room dinner table when my wife said, "I had a voice message on my phone today. It was from my old boyfriend, Ray. He said he's here in town for business and staying at the hotel about five miles from here. He wanted to know if I'd be interested in getting together with him for dinner on Friday. But I can't go."
"Why can't you go?" I asked, realizing with the way she phrased it, she hadn't yet contacted him to say
'No'
, and she was fishing for my reaction. "We don't have any plans on the calendar.
"Because you and I are married," Jan said with a definite hint of concern. "Wouldn't you have a problem with that?" she asked.
"I wouldn't be jealous, if that's what you mean," I pointed out. "You can still go out to dinner with him."
"He and I lived together," Jan said as if I needed to be reminded. She paused as if letting me think about that, then added in exasperation, "He might want me to go to his hotel room after dinner."
So, that was where she was going with this! She was trying to be subtle to see if I'd give her a hall pass to fuck her old boyfriend.
"That's alright with me, too," I said, knowing they'd had sex together long ago. Since my wife's hysterectomy four years ago, she can't get pregnant. So, in my mind, this would be just one more time, doing something they'd done before. "I've seen you with other guys at the swinger house parties."
"But we've both agreed we'll always be together at those parties," Jan said.
"Okay, then," I said as I realized what she meant. Then after a few seconds thinking about it, I spelled out her real concern, "So, if I say you can go out and fuck an old boyfriend, I could call up my old girlfriend, Brenda. She only lives about thirty miles from here. And the last time I talked to her, when I ran into her at the mall, she said she'd like to get together again sometime."
"No way!" Jan insisted. "You're not going out alone with her!"
"If you can go out with Ray and fuck him," I calmly pointed out, "then I should be able to go out and fuck someone I know from the past, too. That's only fair."
"But you don't have a problem with me fucking him," Jan said sternly. "I DO have a problem with you fucking her. She's single now."
"Okay... " I said, drawing out that one word. "You don't trust me with her."
"I don't trust HER!" Jan said, raising her voice.
"You know I won't accept any double standards between us," I calmly went on. "So, if you want a hall pass with Ray, I deserve something, too. If you don't want me seeing Brenda, I could always make a pass at a divorcee who never wants to get married again. ... I know, Walt's secretary, Carol! It would just be sex with her."
"NO FUCKING WAY!" Jan almost shouted at me. "Her sister works at my accounting firm! How embarrassing would that be, if she spread the word my husband was fucking around on me?"
"Okay, then. Here's another deal," and I went on. "You can go to dinner with Ray. ... But, if you have sex with him, text me before you start, then make a video of the two of you doing it and send it to me."
"WHAT?" she asked surprised. "A video of us fucking?"
"Yeah," I said. "Or at least a one-minute video of you sucking his cock."
"I'm not a porn star!" Jan pointed out, as if that would make a difference. "And why do you want a video? Do you intend to use it to divorce me for infidelity?"
"Of course not," I calmly assured her. "We're swingers, so that would be stupid of me to accuse YOU of cheating, when you can easily find witnesses that I've fucked other women. And why would I divorce you? I've watched you suck and fuck other guys! The video isn't even something new to you, since you allowed Sarah to record us in an MFM with her cellphone that time her husband was fucking you."
"So, why the video?" she asked again.
"If you have sex with him, then why shouldn't I see Brenda?" I asked. "Just because YOU say so? I deserve something in exchange, if you want to limit me, and that's just what I want! If you insist that I can't see Brenda, then set your cellphone camera to record video, prop it up on the nightstand aimed at the bed, and send it to me when you're done. It will be like I'm there sharing with you like we do at house parties. And leave the lights on! Otherwise, I can call Brenda."
"NO!" she insisted. "You're not calling Brenda!"