I thought that Eve and Liz were away yet again. I was very surprised when Liz appeared at my door without Eve. I was worried that something had happened to my wife.
Liz said "It's alright. Eve is okay. But I need to talk to you. I need to bear my soul to someone."
I said "You saved my marriage, so I owe you big time. Listening to you is the least I can do. But I am about to give Rex his morning walk. The poor dog will pee everywhere if I don't let him out."
LIZ THE MARRIAGE SAVER
It was true that Liz had saved my marriage. I had an affair and Eve wanted to sue for divorce. Liz helped calm Eve down.
She told Eve "It is natural to want to get revenge on your cheating bastard of a husband. Sometimes giving vent to this natural feeling of anger just makes things worse. Don't do anything over hasty. Try to think before acting. Count to 10 before speaking. Phone me before making any really major decision."
Eve agreed to discuss things with Liz.
Liz then said "Sleeping arrangements?"
Eve replied "In the garden or in the river for all I care."
Liz bartered Eve down on my behalf. I got to sleep on the sofa.
A month later (when Eve had cooled down sufficiently to discuss things amicably) she got us 3 to sit down in the same room.
As a result of that Eve accepted that I had made a big mistake having extra marital sex.
Liz said "Look I have known the pair of you for 6 years. You were made for each other. You are both unhappy being apart sexually. I suggest that you have a romantic weekend in a hotel. And, most importantly, you agree to have sex at least once."
Of course when we tried to make love I discovered that I had erectile dysfunction. We later discovered that it was because I couldn't get over the shame of breaking my marriage vows.
WALK AND TALK
Liz said "That's not a problem. We can walk and talk. No one wants a floor full of dog piss."
As we walked Rex ran ahead. We were alone in the local park.
LIZ TELLS HOW IT STARTED
Liz said "I have some really bad news for you. I don't know where to start."
I said "Start at the very beginning. It apparently is a very good place to start, at least according to Julie Andrews."
Liz said "You have lost Eve. She will leave you unless you are prepared to be a slave to her. You must prepare yourself to make some tough choices."