To say that my wife was conservative would have been a gross understatement. She had never been adventurous and it took all of my charm, which I have a limited supply of, to get her to suck my cock once in a blue moon. Variation in the bedroom seemed to require an act of congress. I just got used to it after a while and dealt with the boredom.
Money was the catalyst for our only expressions of passion, and not the sort that ended up with us in the bedroom. On the contrary our situation had become seriously dark, with little or no hope of reprieve in sight. This only added to our economic struggles which resulted in my wife resenting me more and more.
Finally it had gotten so bad that I had moved myself to the garage where I slept so I wouldn't have to deal with her bemoaning our situation as I attempted to sleep. Oh I still slept in the bed once in a while because I wanted to get back to where she and I were at least 'normally' sexual with each other, only her demeanor, after a while, made this less and less frequent. Still...I made the effort.
Up until the death of her aunt my wife was your typical mom. She got the groceries, cleaned the house and did all the stuff expected of a home business mom. She ran her business via the computer and was able to make a decent living helping the household out when things got tough. We had been living an okay life, but not the one she and I had planned on. We had anticipated a struggle, but not such a protracted struggle.
To say that it had worn us down was an understatement. The day we put her aunt in the ground I noticed a change in my wife. It was not a 'dark' change but a spirited one. I guess when we are faced with mortality there is this realization that life is to be lived in spite of everything.
Years before, when things were 'okay' between us I discovered that she had the hots for her ex-boyfriend mostly because I heard her dreaming and she apparently was busy in her dream with him at least it was 'his' name she called out in her sleep. I later read that she had been dreaming of having sex with him for years only they never got to the actual act until one night...when in her dreams they made physical contact and actually fucked in her dream, the night I was in the bed. All I heard were moans and mumbled conversation.
After this I decided that if she wanted him 'that bad' I would give her the freedom to pursue him if she honestly wanted to. I then told her I heard her calling his name in the dream. I told her this so that I could give her the understanding of what I knew. She simply shook her head and said "It was only a dream" and proceeded on with what she had been doing. Nothing was mentioned of it again, at least to me.
It wasn't until after the death of her aunt that she apparently started considering my offer. It had been a few months so I really did not expect her to bring it up. But as we rode in the limo back to the house after the funeral she said "Remember when you offered to let me pursue Bobby, my ex boyfriend?" I nodded but said nothing. "Well, he was at the funeral today as you know. He and I spoke briefly this afternoon at the funeral home. His wife left him last week...because she believed that he and I were having an affair. He was calling my name out in a dream, much like what you heard me do. She has no grounds for divorce but the idea that he was dreaming of me was too much for her."
She paused considering her next words carefully. "Anyway, I guess he never got over 'us' and it was showing a bit more frequently than he realized. So when she couldn't take anymore she left. Anyway, to top it off, we spoke and he confessed his feelings for me...and...I confessed mine in return."
Again she paused and looked hard at me before asking "How serious were you about your proposition about my seeing him...' she gulped nervously, 'physically? Did you mean what you said? Am I actually allowed to pursue him that way?" she asked.
I sat back stunned. I never expected that she would ever consider it, especially after having rebuffed the idea when I'd mentioned it before. Only I got hard as I thought about her being with him. "I-I was serious...very serious. If you want to pursue this my only request is that I be made aware of it so that we are above board with it. It wouldn't do for me to walk in on you if you happen to be in our bedroom."
She turned to look at me exasperated "You actually expect that I would do this in our house, in our bed?"
I grinned at her and said "Well, if this is going to be something you 'want' then I expect that there will be times when the passion of the moment takes over. I am aware that it could very easily end up being expressed in our home...especially now that I have given consent." Again she stared at me with mild irritation that seemed to fade as she thought about it.
Leaning back she set her head onto the cushion looking at me "So...you actually 'want' me to see him? Does that turn you on or something?" I nodded grinning. She did not move but turned to look out the window not knowing how to feel about it. She clearly wanted to, that much was obvious. Her dilemma or challenge was the fact that I had just given her consent to do what she wanted to. I think that her problem was not so much my giving her consent to see him as much as was the fact that she didn't trust me to keep it between us.
I really couldn't blame her there. When we first met I was a man without a filter. I was your proverbial open book. Then there was the fact that I had few social graces when it came to social interactions.
So she came to distrust me with secrets. It was something she held onto and remembered; especially, since she was discussing with me the possibility of pursuing an old boyfriend. She wanted to be open with me about it, only I was the last person she trusted to keep it secret. I had only myself to blame. I stared out the opposite window wondering how I could have ever been such an ass?