It was a few months after Britney had sex with our neighbor Russell, and I was still mad at her. She had said she was sorry, but also said that it was really my fault, since she only wanted Russell to see her naked after I had gotten to see Russell's wife Karen naked. I would then explain that I had only seen Karen naked accidentally, and we'd get into a fight all over again.
Finally after a few months, one day Britney threw up her hands and said, "David, I can't have you storming around the house all the time. What is going to get you over this? Do you want to have sex with someone else?"
I thought about it for a few minutes. "Yes," I said. "That's only fair. If you got to cheat on me, then I get to cheat on you."
"Fine!" Britney said. "Go ahead then. Go get a hooker or something."
"Are you serious?" I asked.
"Yes!" Britney said. "It's just sex, who cares? I'd much rather you get your rocks off with someone else, if you promise to stop being mad at me."
I should've been warned by her casual indifference to sex, but instead I took it as a green light. "Okay, yes" I said. "I'm not going to get a hooker, but we both agree that at some point I get a hall pass with someone. Then I won't be mad."
"Great," Britney said, rolling her eyes.
That ended the conversation, although I still didn't like seeing her and Russell giving each other flirty looks for the next few weeks. But the thought that I would get to have sex with someone as revenge made it worth it.
A few weeks later, Britney and I took a long weekend into the city. I had some work there, so she joined me on Friday with the idea that we'd go out on the town for a couple of nights before going back to the suburbs.
We checked into a very nice hotel, and decided to get a drink in the hotel bar before going out to a fancy dinner. Because it was our first night out in a long time, we both got dressed up for the occasion. I wore a suit and tie and Britney wore a very flattering, tight dress with a deep plunge in the neckline. She looked like a million bucks and I was half tempted to just cancel the entire night and spend it with her in the hotel room.
We went downstairs to the hotel bar and got a table. We started chatting about work and family members, when out of the corner of my eye I spotted a woman sitting by herself at a nearby table. To call her attractive would be an understatement — she was movie star gorgeous, even under the fairly conservative work outfit she had on.
Britney must have noticed me staring, because she turned to look. "Pretty lady," she said. "You going to keep gawking?"
"No," I said. "I'm gonna do more. She's gonna be my hall pass."
"What? NOW?" Britney whined. "But we have a whole night planned!"
"Too bad," I said. "You said I could use it whenever and now is whenever."
Britney rolled her eyes. "Fine. Go get her."
"I need you to help me," I said. "I can't just go by myself, you need to be my wingman."
"You can't be serious," Britney said. "I'm not gonna HELP you cheat."
"You made me WATCH you cheat," I said. "This is the least you can do."
As we argued, two guys approached the movie star and sat in the booth with her.
"Never mind," Britney said. "One of those has got to be with her."
I watched them for a few seconds. "No, they look like coworkers. Look, they're all in work outfits and they're all a bit stiff with each other."
