My Valentine Dilemma

I do not write erotica. And.... I am not sorry that I do not.

My wife, Laura, and I Jim Browning, have been married nearly 25 years. We met in at the University of Virginia in Charlottesville, Va. I took a degree in Biology and she in English. We aspired to teach, first high school, then as we earned higher degrees to move to the university level.

She is 5 foot 5 inches tall, 130 pounds (well distributed) and is of Italian descent thus olive complexion with black hair and brown eyes. I am nearly 6 feet tall, weighing in at 180, as to ancestry I just tell people I am of the Heinz 57 variety.

Both of us are outgoing and congenial, mixing well with other people.

We have two children, Renee and Myron. Both have moved on in pursuit of their college educations, so Laura and I were empty nesters. Our parents have passed on. She has two sisters while I have a brother and sister.

I should add that we did accomplish our goals, having earned our PhD's in our respective fields and held professorships at the U. of Va.

We were enjoying our lives together, all seemed to be going well. We liked to bike, camp, hike, and believe it or not hunt and fish together. We also pursue physical fitness at Planet Fitness.

We have an 18-foot Sea Ray center console boat with a Yamaha 150 HP kicker on it.

While we fished some of the nearby lakes such as Birdswell and the Rivanna Reservoir, our favorite was the Rappahannock River where we launched at Tappahannock, Va. some 110 miles from Charlottesville.

Our hunting included basically deer and ducks. Laura had a Winchester 760 pump Game Master rifle in .270 caliber and a Remington 1100 semi-automatic 12 gauge with ventilated rib. My rifle was a custom made 30.06, 8 lands and grooves in the barrel, with a Mauser action. I also carry the Rem 1100. I love reloading our rifle ammunition but buy the shotgun shells in number 6 shot, high brass.

Laura is quite the looker and I am always proud to have her on my arm, whether shopping, dining or dancing. Needless to say, she attracts the interest of most men wherever she happens to be.

Roger Anderson was a new hire in her department at the University. I met him early on and my impression was less than positive as I noticed he had a wandering eye for the ladies and, unfortunately, they had an eye for him. He was at least 6 foot 3 and probably weighed in a little over 200, had broad shoulders, narrow hips, wavy blond hair, rich baritone voice and startling azure blue eyes topped off with a smile to make any dentist happy. Laura spoke of him often.

I had a hard time from popping my eyebrows at her praise of him, but I trusted Laura completely knowing our relationship was solid. We discussed fidelity early on with our agreeing to the "one and done" concept. I never insinuated she had that type of interest in good old Roger, but I tucked that thought away in the back of my mind.

Things were perking along nicely; the year had passed and we had just finished celebrating the new one. Laura came home from the University (we could not car pool due to differences in our class schedules) one day telling me she had to go on a one-week seminar at Vanderbilt University in Nashville at the end of January. She and five other professors were to go.

I asked if Roger Anderson was one of them. She looked at me with a strange expression. With a pause, she said not, only women. I wondered why she had that strange expression. My antenna was up and I thought of the TV series "The Friendly Martian."

The seminar was two weeks off, but Laura had already packed her suitcase in anticipation. As the day of departure (D Day) approached she seemed to be getting a little more excited even to being giddy. What could be so appealing at a seminar? I wondered. My antenna began to tingle.

I asked if I could take her to the airport, but she said she was going to take her car and meet up with the Mary Alice and Suzan, two of her cohorts at the University then go on to the airport.

She was off and gone, leaving me with a sweet kiss and hug while reassuring me of her love. She said she would call as she had opportunity rather than my calling her explaining her schedule was a little complicated. My antenna felt radioactive.

It was four days later when the mail included a curious item. There was an official type envelope with a Towson, Maryland return address, it being addressed to Laura. I normally do not open her mail, but this time my interest was piqued.

It was a traffic ticket, issued due to running a red light at the intersection of Providence Road and Southwick Drive in Towson. It was dated the day after she left home. They use traffic cameras to record speeding and intersection violations.

How could it be? She was in Nashville, or was she? Was her car stolen?

I called the number included on the ticket explaining my dilemma. They told me they had photos coming and going. I asked if they could describe the driver, which they could and did.... It was Laura!! In Towson!! There was a man in the passenger seat!!!!

Now I was really in a quandary. Was there a seminar at all? What was she up to? Was there going to be a 25

th

wedding anniversary?

I called the University. Hilda, the chair's secretary answered. I asked her about the seminar. She gasped and hemmed and hawed for a few seconds then confirmed what Laura had told me... nearly verbatim. My mind was off to the races.

Should I bring it up on our next telephone conversation? Would Hilda let her know I called? I decided to wait until she came home, body language and facial expressions cannot be seen over the telephone.

It was late Saturday when she arrived. I was waiting.

"I'm home, Honey," she called out.

I responded "from where?"

"Well, Nashville, of course."

I handed her the ticket from Towson, saying "how do you explain this?"

She looked at it and gasped, "oh no" she said.

She looked at me and said she was going to tell me about it later, but now it could not wait, she added she was sorry for lying to me.

She reached into her purse and pulled out a legal sized envelope, which I assumed contained divorce papers.

I took the envelope with foreboding and trembling hands.

The envelope contained a legal document.

She saw my questioning look; saying "Honey, you were not supposed to find out like this. There was no seminar."

"Was Hilda in on this?"

"Yes," she said.

I went to the Eastern Shore of Maryland and purchased a hunting and fishing cabin as a gift for Valentine's Day for you. It's on the Choptank River. You are holding the deed."

"And who was the man in passenger seat of your car?"

"The realtor."

"What did you think, Jim? Oh no, not really."

"Sweetheart, please forgive me... what a fool I am."

I thought of how true was Rod Serling of "The Twilight Zone:"

"Imagination... its limits are only those of the mind itself."