"Amy! Hey, come over for a bit!"
I perk up and lean back from the trunk of my car, my heart skipping a beat from the sound of my name ... mostly because of the owner of the voice who called it. Terri, my new next door neighbor, was waving me over as she leans precariously out of her front door, with only a silky beige robe draped around her.
It has barely been a day since I had a wild, spontaneous sexual encounter with Terri and her husband, Greg. The previous evening, I had met the couple for dinner while my husband was out of town, we had some wine, and, well ... one thing led to another.
My mind begins to whirl as the memories I've been trying to block out all day come rushing in. I had my first sexual experience with another woman, but somehow, that didn't seem to bother me as much as my other partner. Oh, God, I fucked another man! My husband ... I ...
My thoughts trail off as I sheepishly smile and wave back at Terri. I had spent the whole night sleeping with the couple in their bed, and I woke up in the early morning sober, confused, and then very mortified. In my dazed state, I had slipped out of their house unnoticed through the back door, through our adjacent side gates, and in through the back of my own house before realizing I had been stark naked for the whole escape.
Since then, I had spent every moment pacing, panicking, and contemplating the uncharacteristic choices made the previous night.
"Just for a bit Amy ... I think, erm ... it would be best if we talked, yeah?" Terri's smile shows a hint of concern as she motions me over more earnestly.
"Yeah, I'll be ... right there," I squeak out sheepishly, closing the trunk and beginning the long walk to her front door. I wasn't worried about having caused problems in my neighbor's marriage, as it was pretty clear last night that they were an open couple. The problem is with me. I had cheated on my husband of five years, and I wasn't sure if my mind was ready to fully address that.
I reach the entryway and make quick eye contact with Terri. "Hi," I blurt out as she motions me inside.
"Hey, babe." Terri grins at me as she closes the door softly behind me. I freeze as she breezes around me and squarely faces me, her hands gently coming to rest on my shoulders. A few silent moments pass as I work up the will to look her directly in the eye.
As soon as I do, she pulls me in for a deep, passionate kiss. I don't resist her, but my arms remain dispassionately draped at my sides as she cradles my face with her slender hands. Terri tenderly ends the kiss and slowly takes a step back. Catching the tears forming in my eyes, she knowingly nods and sighs. "We have a bit to talk about, don't we babe?"
I stifle a whimper as the storm of emotions within me come to a head. "Mmm, come in, babe. Let's talk this out." Terri takes my hand and leads me to the kitchen. Pulling out a barstool, she motions for me to sit as she pours a mimosa.
I sit, feeling distraught and at a loss for words as she mixes herself a glass as well. As Terri finishes up, I manage to croak out a question. "Is, um ... is Greg here?"
Terri pauses for a moment before setting the drink on the counter in front of me. "No, babe, he's at work for the day." She pulls out the barstool directly across from me and sits down, gently nursing her own drink. "I think it's a good idea to ... fill you in about last night."
Terri takes her time describing the nature of her open marriage, how it started, what it's like, and how it has greatly improved her relationship with her husband. I mostly remain a spectator as she shares her story.
I ask probing questions, keeping myself impersonal and slightly guarded, and she responds with answers, as well as her own questions. A couple of drinks later, she turns the conversation to me.
"So, Amy ... about last night, I - we, wanted to apologize to you. We had - well, we got way too far ahead of ourselves, and it seemed that you were so into everything, without a second thought ..."
I purse my lips as a single tear rolls down my cheek. "... so, we just went with it. We should have taken it slower, let you adjust and think -"
"You're right." I interject, looking directly into Terri's gorgeous eyes. "I mean, you're right about me. I was very into it." I shift in my chair, wiping away another tear. "The thing is, if you had told me yesterday that ... last night would've happened, I just wouldn't believe it. I have never, ever, dreamed of cheating on my husband."
Tears drip more freely from my eyes as I shakily recount the details of my formerly loyal marriage to Nick, about how happy he makes me, about how much I love him and adore him. Terri's own eyes redden and well up as I share my fears and regret for our encounter.
"I don't blame you two," I shakily say as I continue to try to not break out into sobbing. Terri reaches out and grasps my hand supportively. "And i had, a really, really, um ... great time with you, and Greg."
A flash of guilt and memories blaze through my mind as I picture myself lustfully impaling myself on Greg's massive cock. The woman I imagine, I don't even recognize. I rub my temples and shake my head. "Oh, Terri, what am I going to do? I have to tell Nick, I ..."
The emotional dam breaks within me as I bury my head in my arms, sobbing. Terri gets up and caresses me from behind, gently stroking my hair as she holds me close. She lets several moments pass before she speaks up.
"We were wrong to thrust you into our world so quickly, babe. This is something that should have been addressed with you and your husband first, and we didn't allow that to happen ..." Her embrace tightens as her voice quivers. "But I don't want this to be the end for us ... Greg either! And, the same goes for you and Nick."
I turn to face her, grasping at her robe as I peer through my moistened eyes. "I cheated on my husband! I let it happen, without any hesitation. There's no ... coming back from that!"
"True," Terri responds. "But you can move forward."
I sniffle softly as my crying subsides. "What do you mean?"
She pulls back, tracing a finger along my chin. "There's more than one choice here. And they're not all bad. You could admit to him what happened, tell him you're sorry, but everyone loses in that scenario."
I blink away tears as she continues. "Or, you could not say anything, let it tear you up inside, maybe even continue with what we started last night," Terri pauses, tracing another finger along my shoulder. "But, in the end, not ideal. Still losing."