Not the quintessential nerd, but I was close. No time for dating. Always early. Always overachieving. Grad school got my dream internship. Day two on the job and I meet my direct supervisor, Moira McGillicutty. 6 feet tall, athletic, brunette hair cut short, minimal makeup, long arms, long legs, muscular, surprisingly big breasts, she took one look at me in my cheap suit and bad haircut.
She extended her hand. We shook. She's eyeballing me and not impressed with what she's seeing.
"Nice to meet you, Pat." She then says, "Tsk, tsk, that won't do."
I politely ask, "What won't do ma'am?"
"Your suit. Your haircut. Who taught you how to tie a tie?"
"What's wrong with my haircut? I thought my suit was appropriate. I taught myself to tie a tie."
"Pat, I expect you in my office at the end of the day. I have some free time this evening. You and I are going shopping."
I protested, "But ma'am, I don't have much money."
"Don't worry. You can pay me back."
That was my introduction to Moira. As instructed I showed up at her office at the end of the work day.
I followed her out to the parking lot.
"We'll take my car," she announced.
By the end of the evening I had two new suits, five new shirts, five new ties, a set of cufflinks, and a new pair of wingtips. She also insisted I upgrade my underwear from tight whiteys to something more colorful.
"I know your age, but your face and your build doesn't exactly shout 'I'm a man. Stick with the briefs for now. Besides they look better on men with your build. Boxers would make your legs look even thinner. Did your parents feed you? My god, you're skinny. We need to put some meat and muscle on your bones. You don't want to be called chicken legs the rest of your life."
She wasn't being mean, but forthright, and she was trying to interject some humor into a serious situation.
"We have an image here at Peabody LLC. Our clients expect us to dress and act in a way that mirrors them."
"How is that ma'am?" I asked having no idea what she was talking about.
"Rich," she answered.
"Ma'am, I won't be working with the company's clients. I'm a numbers guy, a statistician."
"That's where you're wrong. You'll work a great deal with our clients. Not one on one, but we'll parade you in front of them. You'll dazzle them with your numbers. They'll invest not really having a clue to the higher math you're espousing. They'll think you're brilliant. We'll all get richer."
"So I'll be a monkey on parade."
She pinched my cheek, "But a very cute monkey. My god, do you even shave?"
"Not often, ma'am."
"I'd forgotten how young eighteen is. You must really be smart to be working on your master's already and for our company's owner to have insisted we hire you. You're not our normal intern."
"I don't consider myself really smart. Some things come easy for me, but I also work hard. Who do you normally hire as interns?"
"Business majors. Jocks. Salesmen. Few of them have the right mix. They either come across too aggressively or they just aren't polished enough. We can polish the rough diamonds, but if your reading, speaking, and writing skills aren't up to par out you go."
"What about math?" I asked.
"That's why we have you sweetie. We can talk more at dinner."
We left, but not before having a tailor alter my shirts, jackets, and slacks. He told her it would be several days. She whipped out a Benjamin Franklin and said, "One for now and the second when we pick them up this evening. Do we have a deal?"
He snatched the C note out of her hand and said, "Yes ma'am. We have a deal. Is eleven too late?"
"Not at all. See you at 11."
We had dinner. She grilled me about my background and volunteered some of hers. It was hard not to remember my place because there was so much I really liked about her. It wasn't just her looks, but her personality. She was so confident, so well spoken, so polished, but she didn't come across as some know it all asshole. She had traveled, did a lot of reading, and was fanatical about all sports and fitness.
"Pat, what sports do you play? What do you do for workouts?" She asked between bites of her ribeye.
"Ma'am, I don't."
She pointed her knife at me, "We'll have to change that. Sports teaches competitiveness and teamwork. This industry isn't for loners or losers. You're obviously not a loser or you wouldn't be here. I suspect you are a bit of a loner which I completely understand. I enjoy my solitude also, but sports will make you less of a loner."
"Ma'am, I don't exactly have the genetic makeup for sports."
She shot back, "Says who? I know plenty of people who are surprisingly athletic, but don't look it."