My Cruise Romance Analysed

I have divided this into 3 parts because, like Topsy in Uncle Tom's Cabin it "just grow'd".

It is based on an actual dream that I had.

Part 1 is the dream. Part 2 is the real life characters that inspired my dream and Part 3 is my psychiatrist's evaluation.

Enjoy.

PART 1 - THE DREAM

Things started going strange when they had a Celebration Night. For this Gala night the Captain selects 4 couples to join him at the top table. It is a great honour to be selected. But the Captain chose my wife and not me. He paired my wife with a younger Italian man, who was elegantly dressed.

The Italian man came into our cabin while my wife was in the shower. He totally ignored me while he watched my wife come out clad only in a towel. He got a small bottle of bubbly from the cabin fridge and poured out some for her and him to drink.I got none.

My wife took off the towel and stood there naked. She drained the bubbly in 2 gulps The Italian watched her dress with unrestrained delight. He then gave her a romantic kiss. They went up, hand in hand, to the Captain's Table.

They left me alone to go to shower and change and go to my allocated table. Luckily 3 people that I knew in real life (Lisa, Grant and Trish) were also allocated to my table.

MY TABLE

My table was the furthest away from the Captain's Table as possible. I was there with Lisa (which made me feel great), her boyfriend Grant (which wasn't great as I fancied Lisa) and Trish The other 4 people on our table looked down on us 4. They were better dressed and obviously had more money. These other 4 people then faded out from my dream

Other than my wife and I, the only real people in my dream were Lisa, Grant and Trish. All other were created by my brain's sleeping creativity. Though I suspect the Captain owes something to the Captain of the ill fated Costa Concordia, since he had a romantic liaison with non fee paying passenger. I guess my sleeping creativity chose Italians because they are sexier than we Brits,

STILL IN LOVE

Lisa was still in love with Grant. I had never seen him in real life so I just had a mental picture of him. He was taller than I imagined and a lot more handsome. He was also more elegant than I gave this ex convict credit for.

Trish is a lesbian and in love with Lisa, at one stage while Grant was in prison they were romantically involved. Trish recognised that she and I were in the same position. It was obvious to her that I was here in the back of beyond whereas my wife was making love lorn eyes at her gorgeous looking partner.

She recognised that I should be seated with my wife and not cast out to the outer darkness that was Table 90.

She joked "If we were any further away we would be in the sea."

But being on Table 90 didn't worry Lisa and Grant. Neither did they comment on my wife being with another man. They only had eyes for each other.

Grant muttered to his girlfriend "Lisa, who would think we would ever get to be here treated like royalty and everything paid for, even the drinks."

(For info, cruise ships have Drinks Packages so alcohol and soft drinks and speciality coffees are free. The packages do however limit the number of alcoholic drinks you can have. They don't want drunken passengers causing trouble).

TRISH AND I SHARE A PROBLEM.

We were on a ship and had to watch Lisa, the person we both love, being romantic with someone else.

GRANT POPS THE QUESTION

At this stage, Grant got down on one knee and said "Lisa, will you marry me?'

Lisa said "Yes. I have wanted you to ask me ever since we first met."

APPLAUSE

The Captain was informed and he told the assembled people "I am glad to announce that a young couple have just got engaged. I am sure that we all wish them well."

They gave Lisa and Grant a round of applause.

The Captain then said "I have ordered a bottle of the finest champagne to be sent to their cabin for them to toast their being fiancé and fiancée. And of course a free set of photos from the ship's professional photographer."

A COMMERCIAL BREAK

Cruise corporations are always eager to get customer spend up. This was the Captain's chance to remind people that they had a professional photographer.

"Remember that you don't have to buy any photos he takes but most people are delighted with them and buy their favourite ones"

THE PARTINGS

As soon as the Celebration Night ended I was alone with Trish. Lisa and Grant had gone for an early night. The Captain and the Italian left together with my wife.

I noticed that Trish had mixed feelings about Lisa and Grant's engagement. She had applauded only shortly and her smile was forced. I felt a fatherly kind of regard for her.

THE CAPTAIN'S CABIN

In dreams you can see things which the laws of physics don't allow. Although I was with Trish in the Crow's Nest people-watching, we could both see what is happening to my wife.

The Captain took the Italian and my wife into his luxury cabin. It was unbelievably large. It was 4 times as large as my standard cabin. It had a bed large enough to sleep 4 people and made 4 star hotel rooms look shabby by comparison.

There he got my wife to strip down to her bra and panties. The Italian and my wife drank champers as if it was going out of fashion. The Captain stuck to soft drinks

My wife was having the time of her life, while Trish and I were lonely voyeurs. The Captain, the Italian and my wife were unaware that Trish and I were watching them. For support, Trish held my hand as we watched my wife being a drunken slut.

THE 3SOME

My wife started to undress the Italian, while the Captain watched intently. The Italian man had a large cock. My wife took his cock into her mouth. She then undressed the Captain and took his cock in her mouth. She then alternated which cock she took into her cock greedy mouth.

The Italian then fucked my wife doggy style with the Captain watching her face and boobs. My wife was crazy with lust and she wanted more cock. The Italian orgasmed and she licked his still erect cock. She then took the Captain by the hand and he fucked my wife from behind. She then got the Italian's cock hard and he fucked her again.

My wife was more than happy to be fucked by the Captain and the Italian man. It didn't feel strange that Trish and I were watching my wife was being fucked by 2 other men. I wasn't angry (which I would have been if it happened in real life) or turned on. I was just envious that my wife could enjoy being unfaithful.

Trish said "The woman you love is being fucked and so is the woman I love."

She didn't realise that the woman I loved was the same woman that she loved. Trish didn't realise that I also loved Lisa.

PLAN B

In an instance, Trish and I were in my cabin.

My Cabin Steward knocked on the door with an urgent note from my wife. It read "I am staying with the Captain. See you back at Southampton."

Trish was truly sorry for this news.

She said "They have a LGBT meet up group at 9 a.m. tomorrow. I want to go to it. But I doubt any of them will compare to Lisa. If there isn't anyone of interest can we make the best of Rotterdam together?"

I quipped "Sounds like an excellent Plan B."

TRISH AND MY "PLAN B DATE".

For some unknown reason, which it is not hard to guess, Lisa and Grant never appeared for breakfast. Trish and I ate together in elegant sadness as the waiters brought us out orders.

Trish went to the LGBT meet up and returned.

She said "Mostly men and old dykes."

I cracked a LGBT joke "The Dutch rely on old dykes, otherwise the country would be submerged into the sea."

Trish smiled the smile people do when they indulge someone's unfunny joke.

I asked her "Are we still on for Plan B?"

Trish replied "Yes. None of the LGBT venues are of interest. Lets avoid those boring touristy things. Let's just try to forget our troubles."

I agreed by a nod of the head.

Trish said "I want to spend the day at their zoo. I know you like football, do you want us to go to see Feyenoord play? I can book 2 tickets on-line. They are only 35 Euros each."

In our town I am well known as a football fanatic but I was really impressed that Trish had thought what would interest me. She had taken time to investigate the availability and price of tickets.

Zoos are not really my thing but it was better to be with her than roaming around buildings which would only remind me of my wife and the Captain and the Italian. I suspected that Trish had a similar feelings about going to the football match. Except she missed being with Lisa

THE ZOO

Trish and I got the metro to Diergaarde Blijdorp, which was just a 6 min walk to the zoo. It was quite uplifting being with a beautiful woman, even if she was a lesbian. Quite what people thought as they saw this old man with a young woman is anyone's guess. I suspect that they thought "Gelukkige hond" which is Dutch for "lucky dog".

It was actually better than I expected and the kids were enjoying it. They have an indoor lake with concrete islands for the kids to jump from one island to the next. And who can resist the seals playing and diving?

THE MATCH

We came back and had a meal together and then got the metro to the Feyenoord Stadium. It was packed with fans all excited. Going to a real football match beats listening to ex-players pontificating endlessly.

The stadium was a sight to behold and the atmosphere was so intense. Trish and I both rose and shouted when Feyenoord scored. We also sat silently as Roma equalised. Only a handful of Roma fans shouted and their voices rang out inside the stadium.

In brief the match was magic and heart breaking for the home support. The metro back was again full but the atmosphere was muted.

THE FOLLOW UP

Later that night Trish and I danced the night away and we returned to our separate cabins. I was so tired and tipsy that I fell asleep in my clothes on top of my duvet.

The next day Trish said "I have planned a mystery tour."

THE ROTTERDAM FOX

There really is a Rotterdam fox statue. Trish had got a screen shot from a You tube video and posted it on Facebook. Her comment was "Rotterdam has a big fox problem." But it is in a non tourist area and not easy to get to. So we got a taxi to see the 35 foot statue of an urban fox, carrying a plastic carrier bag in its mouth.

Trish had again chosen well.

We took videos and photos from many different angles. This is not a tourist attraction, but it ought to be. The local people must have thought we were mad spending so much of our time and energy on it.

Liz explained its significance as I took a video of her. We got a passing stranger to explain it in Dutch, so we could upload both the English and Dutch version to You tube.

We walked to the nearest metro station, which was quite far away, and went back to the ship by metro to Central Station and then a tram to near the Cruise Terminal.

THE DREAM ENDING

Trish and I had a meal together with Lisa and Grant as the ship sailed back to England. No one mentioned the elephant in the room (or more accurately not in the room for she was with the Italian and the Captain).

Out of the picture book window I saw the Hotel New York, where a certain Andreas Cornelis van Kuijk left for America. He helped someone to become governor of Louisiana. As a reward he was bestowed the honorary rank of "Colonel" in the Louisiana State Guard.

He became world famous for managing Elvis Presley.