This is my online confession.
My marriage was failing, I was miserable and I was angry all the time with my husband. This is however no excuse for my behavior. The bottom line is this is all 100% my fault.
In the fall a few years back we got a new next door neighbor. He was young, hansom and ripped. He just graduated high school and had a baseball scholarship at the local college. He would go out jogging most morning in nothing but a tight pair of shorts which left very little to the imagination. After a few months of drooling over him I noticed he got a dog. It was a cute little black lab. My husband and I also had a dog so I started taking walks at the same time he was.
For several months we would make small talk as we passed by. He was always so sweet to me and my dog. It wasn't long before we were walking together the entire time and talking quite a bit. It wasn't much longer after that things started to get personal. He would share his relationship stories and asked if I had noticed any girls talking a walk of shame from his house in the morning. Of course I noticed. I was watching his house like a hawk. After a couple weeks he pretty much knew my entire life story. Including everything that was going on with me and my husband.
A weekend was fast approaching where my husband was supposed to be out of town on a mens retreat. My husband was having second thoughts and I was doing everything in my power to encourage him to go. I knew exactly what I wanted even though at the time I felt like I was on auto pilot. I remember the night before he left like it was yesterday. We had a huge fight because he had slapped me on the butt and I had told him to stop doing that. That I wasn't his piece of meat. I was just so mad at him all the time that the thought of him touching me put me over the edge. We slept in separate rooms and I cried myself to sleep that night knowing what was about to happen.