Jane awoke the next morning to find her husband's side of the bed empty. She could tell that he'd not slept in it and felt her stomach churn at the recollection of what happened last night.
Had she gone too far, perhaps even jeopardized her marriage by what she'd done? Despite the fact that James was clearly aroused by the idea of her being with someone else, it appeared as if she'd misjudged his reaction to the reality of it. She had gambled on his acceptance for her own selfish reasons and it had backfired.
There was no question he had certainly been upset, upset enough to leave the house only to finally return and sleep on the sofa. But yet, not so upset that he didn't set his anger aside just long enough to enjoy a blowjob from her after he saw the video. Maybe there was still a chance, she thought.
Jane got up and went downstairs to find him asleep on the sofa bed in his office. She considered waking him and trying to talk through what had happened, but thought better of it. Perhaps his anger would subside after he'd had more time to process everything. They would talk tonight, she decided, before heading back upstairs to shower and make her way to school.
The entire day turned out to be a stressful one for Jane. She hadn't heard any word from James and she didn't dare text him, wanting to give him the time and space he needed to think.
As her final class of the day wound down, she sat staring into space thinking about last night. It had been a huge mistake to invite Chris over. What had she been thinking?
Well there was the obvious, of course, though she hated to admit it. She'd wanted him, had yearned for the aggressive and crude way he took what he wanted from her. How big he felt inside of her, stretching her like she'd never felt before. But she'd also thought she would have time between when Chris left and James arrived home. Some time to introduce everything to him in her own way, her own time, when the moment was right: like when he was deep inside of her and begging to cum, for example.
To top off her already shitty day, Principal Spellman had leered over her for her entire lunch period in the teacher's lounge. She'd been trying her best to avoid him, he never socialized with the teachers, but today he'd walked in and sat right across from her while he ate his lunch. She'd been disgusted by his presence, feeling his eyes fixated on her, and finally tossed what remained of her lunch in the trash can and left.
When the end of day bell finally rang, Jane quickly grabbed her purse and headed for her car. She couldn't wait to get home and try to salvage whatever was left of her life with James.
As she exited the school, her heart sank when she saw Chris leaning against the side of her car, one arm casually resting on the roof. Fuck, she thought and almost turned to go back inside. But she knew that would only delay the inevitable. The sooner she got home, the sooner she could start to repair her marriage.
"What are you doing here, Chris?" she asked impatiently, as she unlocked her car and threw her bag in the passenger seat.
He shrugged, a smug look on his face.
"Just wanted to see if everything was ok," he said, pushing himself off the car. "You know, after last night."
"Last night was a fucking mistake, understood?" she hissed, glaring at him as she reached for the door handle.
"Whoa, easy there Ms. Myers," he said, "Let's not forget who contacted who, ok? I mean, I was a half hour late picking up my girlfriend because of you, and let me tell you she was not happy."
"What? For fuck sakes, you didn't tell her, did you? About us?" Jane asked anxiously.
"About us? You mean about my teacher asking me to come over and fuck the shit out of her?" he laughed, and Jane winced at his crudeness. "Well, not exactly, no. I mean it turns out, she had a pretty good idea already. I guess you haven't been as subtle as you thought. Or maybe she just smelled you on my cock when she went down on me after I picked her up."
Jane wanted to slap him in the face for being so vulgar and disrespectful but she took a deep breath and tried to compose herself.
"Chris, I hope to god you're kidding. Tell me she does not know about... this," she asked measuredly.
"Can't do that, sorry," he grinned.
"Oh my god," Jane groaned, her shoulders slumping in defeat. "How could you --" her words trailed off as she ran both hands through her hair in exasperation.
"By the way, speaking of our significant others, how did things go with your hubby last night? I saw his car pulling in as I was leaving. He looked a little... confused," Chris said, his smug grin unwavering.
"None of your damn business," she said, shoving him away from her door. Then, not wanting to give him the satisfaction that he mattered to her marriage in the least, "We are fine, if you must know. We don't keep secrets from one another," she lied.
"Well that's great then. Maybe the four of us can go out to dinner sometime. Or better yet, maybe we can all get together and... you know," Chris raised his eyebrows suggestively.
Jane slammed her door and started her car.
"Fuck you," she muttered and pulled out of the parking lot, her tires chirping as she rounded the corner onto the street.
Jane had been home for almost 3 hours before she finally heard James' key unlock the front door just after 7:30pm. With each passing hour she'd gotten closer to breaking down and calling him to make sure he was ok. She'd half expected him not to come home at all, but thankfully here he was.
She had taken a long bath, trying to relax her nerves and think about what she could say or do to convince him that she was truly sorry and that what she did was a one-time thing. By the time she got herself dried off and dressed, she was a nervous wreck, pacing back and forth in the dimly lit living room, trying not to look at her phone every 5 minutes.
She heard James enter through the front door, the soft click of the lock and the clanging of the keys hitting the entryway table. She exhaled softly, her knees trembling slightly.
"Hey," he said quietly.
Jane could tell he hadn't shaven today and he looked exhausted.
"Hi," she answered weakly.
"We should talk."
James walked to the chair in the living room and sat down heavily. He rubbed his eyes, making them even redder than they'd already been.
Jane took a deep breath and sat down on the sofa across from him.
"James, I am so, so sorry for what I did. I know it was wrong, incredibly wrong, and I can't believe I did that. I just thought," she hesitated, "I guess I thought that was what you wanted. Or something like that. But it was selfish and horrible of me, I know."
Tears welled up in her eyes and she tried hard to swallow the lump in her throat. She looked down at her hands clenched in her lap and continued.
"I feel like the worst wife in the world. Just thinking about how you must have felt when you walked in and found me like that. And the video... I know that must have been so disgusting for you to have to see. And then when you left last night, I was so scared."
Jane paused for a moment to catch her breath.
"I know now that it was just a fantasy, not something you actually wanted to happen. I guess I got caught up in it all and misunderstood."
She felt horrible as the words poured out of her, knowing she was only being half truthful. She had known deep down James hadn't specifically said he wanted her to be with someone else, at least not when their heads were clear. But it had gotten her so turned on and after becoming so sexually frustrated night after night, as James finished at record speed while she was left unfullfilled... she'd gotten selfish. She'd tried to convince herself it was what he truly wanted just so she could justify another chance to have Chris fuck her. To ravage her like she so desperately craved.
Jane looked up at her husband, trying to gauge his reaction. She couldn't tell if he was buying any of this, she could only see his exhausted expression staring back at her. She looked away, ashamed at how even now, she was manipulating him in a last ditch effort to somehow turn the situation around.
Jane felt a hand under her chin and she slowly gazed up to meet James' eyes.
He looked at her, a complicated mixture of emotions playing across his face.
"It wasn't all your fault," he said, "I guess maybe I got carried away too. I probably gave you mixed signals at what I really wanted. When I look back, I guess there were some times when were were... well you know... that I probably told you I wanted it. And, maybe... well, if I'm being truthful, in those moments, maybe I really did want it. Maybe in the heat of the moment, if some guy had walked out of the closet I might have decided to just sit back and watch, despite the incredible jealousy I would have felt. It's still really confusing, I guess," James sighed and leaned back in the chair, rubbing his temples.
Jane listened intently, nodding as he spoke. She felt guilty, knowing full well she'd manipulated him into agreeing that just maybe he had wanted really her to do it. But she felt an even greater sense of guilt because she knew right now, she was still doing it. Part of her was still hoping that James would tell her he really did want it, giving her permission to pursue the fantasy and have guilt-free sex with another man.
"So where do we go from here?" she asked softly.
She looked at him with wide, earnest eyes, hoping he could forgive her.  She was relieved that he didn't seem angry, but she knew that didn't necessarily mean he wasn't upset with her. She held her breath as she waited for his response.
"Look, we love each other," he said, "Things got confusing and we both are to blame for that. And, well...." James hesitated, his voice trailing off. "The truth is, part of me.... I don't know, maybe there are some things we could explore together."
Jane looked up at him, her eyes wide with surprise. "What do you mean?" she asked softly, trying to hide the jolt of excitement that shot through her like lightning.
"I'm not sure, really. You looked so... in the video, I mean, you just looked so fucking ..." James hesitated once again, taking a deep breath, "hot," he finally managed, looking down at the floor in shame.
Jane's heart raced at his words.
"Really?" she asked cautiously.
"Yeah, of course," he said, still unable to look at her. "I mean seeing you... how much you were enjoying it as he.... But at the same time it felt excruciating, you know, to see you with someone else. It made me so jealous and hurt that you were enjoying another man so much."
