This is loosely based on a true story - 20% real and 80% fiction. The characters and relations are the same but the names and locations have been changed. Sit back and enjoy. And share your feedback with me through my profile.
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My name is Reema. This is the story from five years ago when I was twenty-eight. Now, I am thirty-three years old and have been married for seven years. I am an NRI living in South Africa. Although born and brought up in Maharastra, I moved to Johannesburg along with my husband, Axar, six months after our wedding.
I met Axar when I was working in Mumbai in an MNC. Axar was introduced to me by my best friend Sakshi. Our friendship transpired into love and eventually, we got married with our families' blessings.
My immigration to South Africa happened very haphazardly. I just had one month to wrap up things in India, make travel arrangements and fly. So, I didn't have a chance to meet many of my family members and more importantly, I didn't meet Sakshi.
Six months after I left India, Sakshi got married. It was an arranged marriage. Although Sakshi had offered to sponsor my tickets, I could not attend her wedding because I had joined a new firm. I felt bad that I was not able to be there for the special moment of my best friend who was instrumental in my marriage. So, I promised Sakshi that the next time I came down to India, I would spend at least two weeks at her place.
After Sakshi got married, I spoke with her husband, Sundar. He seemed like a great guy. He had a good sense of humour and it didn't look like I was speaking to someone I had never met before. I called him Jiju (elder sister's husband) because
Sakshi was older than me by three months and Sundar was one year older.
Our lives got busy. Sakshi and I spoke once every month. But the frequency of our WhatsApp chat had reduced to just forwards.
Initially, Axar and I had a nice sex life. We had regular sex, at least three times a week. However, as we were living away from family, it meant we spent more time together than was healthy. Going to the office together, coming back together, staying in the same house and having no independent social circles meant that our marriage was losing its charm.
Our sex sessions, which usually started with cuddling and kissing and unexpectedly, have become a formality that began in bed and ended just before either of us slipped into a deep sleep. It started annoying me and eventually, the feeling became mutual.
Axar and I talked about how to come out of it. We decided to take a vacation and rekindle the lost spark. So, we went on a vacation. We had a good time away from work and all the routine. During the two weeks of our vacation, we had sex over ten times. Although the sessions didn't last as long as they did at the beginning of our marriage, they were definitely better than what we had at home.
We returned from the vacation and were greeted with the good news that Axar got promoted. He was on cloud nine. I was happy for Axar. But I was feeling sad inside because I knew that the additional responsibility would mean that Axar would have to spend long hours at work.
Almost two months passed and I fell sick. We visited a doctor. And upon performing some tests, the doctor confirmed that I had conceived. Axar jumped in happiness. His parents had been pestering us for a grandkid. So when he heard this news, Axar elatedly called everyone and informed them.
And I, on the other hand, was petrified. I didn't know how to react. I was not prepared. Unknown to Axar, I had been taking contraception pills as I was not quite ready to become a mother. It's not that I didn't want kids. But, the place we were living in, away from our families and culture, was not where I wanted to raise my kids.
But evidently, my contraception had failed. Now, I had to accept my pregnancy. It took me a few days to accept the reality. I called Sakshi and informed her about the news. Sakshi was elated.
'So, you have finally let him release inside you,' Sakshi chuckled. The crass talk was common between us.
'Not really. He has been releasing inside me for over six months. My contraception failed this time,' I said.
It was the first time in almost a year that we both managed to find some leisure time to talk like we used to before either of us got married. We would talk about everything under the sun from our favourite positions to masturbation preferences.
'Really? But you wanted to wait for a year more. What happened to that?' Sakshi asked in surprise.
'My mother-in-law wanted a grandkid and Axar started trying. I didn't want to hurt him. So, I let him lose the condom but have been using oral contraception. Apparently, I was late in taking one,' I sighed.
'Good Lord. Anyway, now that you have decided to keep the baby, do your best. Take care of your health,' she said.
'Of course,' I responded.
I quit my job in a month. This meant I had more time on my hands. I spent most of the morning lazing around after completing my household chores. And then, in the second half, I would spend time watching movies and then browsing the internet.
Every day, Sakshi would send me a video or two about how pregnant women should take care of their health, their dietary habits and related Instagram reels. Gradually, we started speaking every day. And the fact that Axar started spending more and more time at work meant that I was feeling more lonely.
One day, when I was in my second trimester, Axar came home and told me that he was going on a business trip to Cape Town for two weeks. I asked him if I could join. And he told me that it was strictly official and that others were joining him. I was disappointed. I let him go as it was the same job that was taking care of us even though I had quit mine.
At night, I took a shower. While I was soaping my body, I felt extra soreness as my hands nibbled my breasts. I walked out of the shower and dried myself up. I looked in the mirror. My feminine shape was getting accentuated to its utmost beauty. But the heaviness, soreness and tenderness in my breasts made it a little uncomfortable. I felt very lonely. It's probably the hormones acting but I started to cry. I felt like I deserved more care than what Axar was providing. I cried for an hour and when I couldn't sleep, I called Sakshi.
'Reema? Is everything alright?' Sakshi's first reaction and the care in her tone triggered my hormones again.
I cried again. Sakshi waited patiently and then made me calm down. And then, she asked, 'What's wrong, baby?'
Sakshi and I shared many things about each other. But I had never shared my problems with Axar or his family with her. And when she called me 'baby', something that we called each other to assure support, I lost it. I broke down and told Sakshi about how much I hated South Africa and how much I missed home. I also told her about how our sex life had deteriorated.
Sakshi listened to me patiently. We were on a voice call until then. 'Give me a minute. I will come to another room,' she said and switched it to a video call.
Suddenly, it occurred to me that it was midnight in India and that I was probably intruding on her private time. But even before I spoke, Sakshi started speaking. 'Listen, Reema. What I am going to say may sound harsh but this is the absolute reality. So, listen to me very carefully.'
I nodded and prepped myself.
'Motherhood is very precious. But womanhood is even more precious. There is no motherhood without womanhood. So, don't stop caring about yourself. If someone calls you selfish, so be it. But you need to be given that attention, time and love that you deserve. Similarly, you should give the same kind of time, effort and love that your husband deserves. Now, I don't have anything against Axar. I understand his situation. But I'm pissed with him now. You should not stay alone without any care,' she said.
And for the next three hours, Sakshi tried to counsel me. It helped me a lot and our conversation turned into a lighter one. We didn't realise how late it got until I saw Jiju come into the frame behind Sakshi.
'Hi, Reema!' Sundar greeted me. And then he offered a cup of coffee to Sakshi and kissed her on the forehead.
'Sorry. Jiju. I kept Sakshi busy,' I said apologetically.
'Oh, no problem at all. You have been best friends since before I married her. You, too, have all the right to disturb her in her sleep,' he said with a smile.